Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

The longer I stay home, the more homeless I look.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Nothing ruins your weekend faster than remembering Monday is lurking in the shadows.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Yesterday, I went to the grocery store, and I managed to come home without any junk food. Now, I’m mad that we don’t have any junk food.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Venmo is my favorite social media site. I love to see my boy John charge his wife for Martinis.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Congrats to my tween for graduating at the top of his class from eye roll university.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Back in my day there was so much toilet paper and so much eggs that we gathered at night and threw them at the houses of our enemies.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

My fridge has brought more light into my life than most people.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Just paid rent. Now I have a place to starve in.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

I have a question and my question is, how can I look so cute in the mirror but like such a baked potato in pictures?

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

My tween would like you to know I ruined his life when I told him to stop being super sus and cringe and be more lit yo.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

The highlight of my weekends is slipping into something more comfortable and putting my feet up.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Where do I see myself in 5 years? Here, but fatter.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Why do parents bust in your room like they trying to catch you cheating on them with another pair of parents or something?

Trending via WhatsApp:

I watch “Law and Order” so much that when I turn off the TV, I wipe my fingerprints off the remote.

Just shared via Telegram:

It’s cool how seeing a less flattering photo of an attractive friend does not change my perception of them at all, but seeing one of myself makes me want to jump off a bridge.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Dating app that matches you based on your risk tolerance for airport arrival timing.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Could a mosquito drink blood out of a cup or something or are they legally required to Capri Sun my legs all summer?

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

My neighbor is having some kind of party and didn’t invite me. I guess I have to call the cops again.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Growing up, there was a Cody in every elementary school class, but as an adult, I haven’t met a Cody in years. Where did they go?

Trending via Facebook:

Naps hit different when you’re using them to avoid being alive.

I put my bathroom scale in the corner, and that’s where the little liar will stay until it apologizes.

3 weeks ago

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Commentary:
Looks like the scale's grounded until it learns some manners! 🚫⚖️😆

apology, bathroom, bathroom scale, corner, humor, i, joke, liar, lie, little, personification, put, scale, stay, weight, where

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Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on Instagram this month:

Current relationship status: sleeping diagonally across the bed.

44 shares on Threads this month:

Technology has gone too far, man. My roommate is logged out of his lightbulbs because he forgot his password.

64 shares on Instagram this month:

Mom asked me what I was drinking the first time I got drunk and I said “breast milk” and now she’s not talking to me.

47 shares on Twitch this month:

My New Year’s resolution will be to stop chasing waterfalls, and stick to the rivers and the lakes that I’m used to.

15 shares on YouTube this month:

Every Jurassic Park movie should end with an insurance adjuster getting a phone call and immediately throwing up.

10 shares on Facebook this month:

Asking a film guy, “Who is that?” when Tom Cruise comes on screen just to feel something.

28 shares on Twitch this month:

The note on this boxed wine says ‘Fresh up to 6 weeks after opening’. 6 weeks. Lol.

73 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I remember sex. That was cool.

56 shares on X this month:

Date idea: We watch Breaking Bad and break your bed.

62 shares on X this month:

Everything is dishwasher safe if you don’t care enough about it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

No, it’s totally fine, Grandma. Nobody else needs to use the stairs today.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

You know you’re old when you you barely do anything all day, but still need a nap to continue doing barely anything.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

I could have been somebody if I’d been somebody else.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

I only attract psychopaths. If you’ve ever had a crush on me, find a therapist.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

I’m an adult. I can do whatever I want. And yet, here I am just doing laundry, eating salads, taking antidepressants, flossing my teeth, and going on little walks. Like an IDIOT.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Conflicts may arise but always remember to be the bitter person.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Nobody says “boom shakalaka” like they used to.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

Traffic is the fault of the guy immediately in front of you.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

You can’t truly refer to yourself as an adult until you catch yourself getting really angry when the grocery store changes their layout.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

People keep wishing January was over like the worst month of the year isn’t coming up next. Thats like wishing someone would stop arguing with you and just punch you in the face.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

Honestly, I can see why God flooded the Earth that one time.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Aging is the worst. I miss the good ol’ days when my pain was strictly emotional.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Getting old is not fun. Sometimes I have to check my texts and photos when someone asks me what I did yesterday.

Shared recently on Slack:

Broke my work phone. I can’t talk on it anymore. I should have done this a long time ago.

Spotted on WeChat:

Remember the good old days when you didn’t have to wonder if the person messaging you was a bot or not?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

All the smart people at the office are worried about being replaced by A.I., but not me. I’m safe until they invent Artificial Stupidity.

Trending via Instagram:

Normalize arguing with plants who refuse to stay alive.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Please don’t buy my book on reverse psychology.

Spotted on TikTok:

She was rare. Like a parking spot in the front row on a rainy day.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I’m pretty sure my husband’s favorite sound is the oven range fan turning on when I start making dinner.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I put my bathroom scale in the corner, and that’s where the little liar will stay until it apologizes.

Can everyone log off? I need some time alone right now.

The fatigue is reaching levels that shouldn’t even be possible.

Writing cover letters feels soooo “Ever since I was a little boy, I knew I wanted to be an administrative assistant when I grew up.”

“Are you dating anyone?” I close my eyes when I walk past mirrors.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I put my bathroom scale in the corner, and that’s where the little liar will stay until it apologizes.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Can everyone log off? I need some time alone right now.

The fatigue is reaching levels that shouldn’t even be possible.

Writing cover letters feels soooo “Ever since I was a little boy, I knew I wanted to be an administrative assistant when I grew up.”

Yeah, no worries, man. You just showed everyone that you have a lot of resentments bubbling underneath, but otherwise, it was a cool evening.

“Are you dating anyone?” I close my eyes when I walk past mirrors.

Sometimes I wanna delete all my social media and throw my phone into a river.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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