I’m a private person except for when I’m publicly trauma dumping on social media.

I'm a private person except for when I'm publicly trauma dumping on social media.

Commentary:
“Living that ‘private person by day, public oversharing by night’ lifestyle 🤫💻 Embracing the art of social media therapy like a pro! 💁‍♂️💬 #KeepingItReal”

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I think the most financially irresponsible thing I’ve done is get my kids to like sushi.

    Commentary:
    “Who would have thought that introducing your kids to sushi could be the gateway drug to a life of luxury dining experiences? 🍣💸 Next thing you know, they’ll be asking for caviar and truffle fries as their everyday snacks! #ParentingFail #SushiAddicts”

  • I will die on this hill or any hill really. I have no hill preference.

    Commentary:
    “I will die on this hill or any hill really. I have no hill preference. 🤣⛰️ Who needs a specific hill when you’re ready to go all in on any plot of land? Flexibility at its finest! 💪 #HillLover #NoHillPreference”

  • Thank God my pets can’t talk. They simply know too much.

    Commentary:
    “Imagine the secrets our furry friends would spill if they could speak! 🐱🐶 Maybe it’s best to keep their world domination plans under wraps. Thank goodness for their loyalty and silence… for now. 🔐😂”

  • Nothing worse than when I turn up to Park Run to find it is indeed going ahead.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the dreaded realization of waking up early on a Saturday morning only to discover that the Park Run is ON! 🏃‍♂️🤦‍♀️ It’s a conspiracy I tell you, a sneaky plot to make us exercise! 😅 #NotTheSaturdayStruggleWeSignedUpFor”

  • I plan the silliest murders in my dreams because all I have to do to get away with it is wake up.

    Commentary:
    Dreaming of committing whimsical crimes, because waking up is the ultimate alibi! 😄🔪 #DreamCrimes #SillyMurders

  • Whatever you do today, do it with the confidence of a 4-year old wearing a Batman cape.

    Commentary:
    Today‘s motto: Be as bold and fearless as a 4-year old rocking a Batman cape! 💪🦇 Just remember, confidence is key… and maybe a cape too! 😄 #UnleashYourInnerSuperhero”