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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Getting an extra 20 minutes in the day when someone cancels a meeting is like finding a penny on the ground. Not gonna use it for anything, but wow, am I excited.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

You can put refrigerator magnets on your car, too. There are no rules.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

I need to get my shit together, but at this point, I’m waiting to see if the world is going to end before I put any real effort in.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

If David Bowie taught us anything, it’s that being a little weird is better than being forgettable.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Driving behind a salt truck on a snowy day is a Midwest police escort.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Dating now is basically choosing which red flag you’re willing to tolerate.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here doing an epic air-drum solo to ‘In The Air Tonight’.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,945

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

I’m really getting tired of being a responsible adult.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I miss you (the money I spent).

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Wanna come over and see my mis-matched sock collection?

Trending via Messenger:

Just did several sets of some bullshit at the gym… no idea which muscles have been targeted.

Shared recently on Discord:

Women only want one thing and it is to walk down a dimly-lit cobblestone street with the devil.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Writing cover letters feels soooo “Ever since I was a little boy, I knew I wanted to be an administrative assistant when I grew up.”

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Three serious exes is the right amount before you meet your spouse. You need one truly evil one, one normal one, and one situationship, and then you’ve basically experienced all dating has to offer.

Is it just my dad, or do all fathers watch videos on their phones with the volume full blast, with no concern for anyone else in the house?

6 days ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah yes, the secret dad ritual of 'Phone Concerts for the Entire House'—free of charge, whether you like it or not! 📱🎶👨‍👧‍👦🔊

anyone, blast, concern, dad, distraction, else, family, father, full, habit, house, humor, just, loud, phone, phones, video, videos, volume, watch

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Why do Marvel movies need 3 hours to accomplish what The Powerpuff Girls did in 11 minutes?

1 month ago

3, accomplish, animation, brevity, comparison, entertainment, girl, girls, hours, humor, Marvel, minutes, movy, need, powerpuff, Powerpuff Girl, superhero, time, why
“You’re so chill.” Thanks, I gave up.

1 month ago

attitude, chill, humor, i, relaxation, sarcasm, thanks
You were there at the beginning of the Internet if you’ve heard the following: “Get off the web, I need to make a call!”

1 month ago

beginning, call, communication, following, i, internet, need, nostalgia, technology, web
Learn from the mistakes of others, you can never live long enough to make them all yourself.

2 months ago

advice, experience, humor, learn, life, live, mistake, mistakes, never, wisdom, yourself
Chickens only make one sound, because they can’t think outside the bawks.

1 month ago

animal, bawk, chicken, humor, joke, outside, pun, sound, think
I didn’t get the part of the brain that lets you relax, just the one that overthinks.

2 months ago

anxiety, brain, humor, i, just, overthink, overthinking, relax, stress

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

If A-B-C-D didn’t take their sweet time in the alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn’t have to sprint every time.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Scientists just confirmed that our dreams were real in another reality.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

If you think one of my posts is about you, it isn’t. Except this one.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Why would anyone ever jump OUT of a cake?

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Some people get a bit strange as they get older. Not me. I’ve always been like that!

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

I don’t know what i’m going to be for Halloween, so I’m probably just going to put in a tampon and go as a sexy kite.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Sometimes after sex, I wonder what it would be like to have sex as a couple.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

I prefer my weighted blanket in human form.

Trending via Slack:

Texting random numbers “It’s done.”

Just landed via TikTok:

Like an advent calendar, you make me want to open up more every day.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

They say every snowflake is different, as if someone actually checked them.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Imagine you blocked me, and I crawled out from under your couch to ask why.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Meetings are just podcasts I didn’t choose.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I hate when people call my phone! I don’t use it for that.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Is it just my dad, or do all fathers watch videos on their phones with the volume full blast, with no concern for anyone else in the house?

Why do Marvel movies need 3 hours to accomplish what The Powerpuff Girls did in 11 minutes?

“You’re so chill.” Thanks, I gave up.

You were there at the beginning of the Internet if you’ve heard the following: “Get off the web, I need to make a call!”

Learn from the mistakes of others, you can never live long enough to make them all yourself.

Chickens only make one sound, because they can’t think outside the bawks.

I didn’t get the part of the brain that lets you relax, just the one that overthinks.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Looks fade but dark, twisted, inappropriate humor is forever.

January 1st: anything is possible. January 2nd: but not today.

Just washed my windows and not a single bloke came out and said ‘You can do mine next!’ This used to be a real country.

Sorry I’m unavailable… the horrors of reality insist upon themselves.

Bringing a fitted sheet to a knife fight.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Men microdose bicuriousness by asking what you’d do for a million dollars.

People who take care of chickens are literally chicken tenders.

Bands who can’t afford a smoke machine should hire my wife to cook at their concert.

Being a woman is wild. I just cried, cleaned the house, had a snack, had a bath, and now I’m fine.

I’m at the stage in life where I stay out of arguments. Even if you say 1+1=5, you’re right. Have fun.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one-night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.

You want me to turn around? The thing that led to a total eclipse of the heart.

Don’t ask me for work advice, I’m just going to tell you to quit your job.

I plan the silliest murders in my dreams because all I have to do to get away with it is wake up.

People ask you, “are you crazy”, and then get scared when you answer, “yes”.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

We’re all mature, until someone pulls out some bubble wrap.

At a job interview: think of me as the rightful heir to the throne.

First date idea: you rescue me out of the tree I got stuck in while looking through your windows.

I only accept apologies in cash.

Accidentally said I was on a diet instead of in a calorie deficit, and now everyone knows I’m from the 1900s.

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Is it just my dad, or do all fathers watch videos on their phones with the volume full blast, with no concern for anyone else in the house?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Why do Marvel movies need 3 hours to accomplish what The Powerpuff Girls did in 11 minutes?

“You’re so chill.” Thanks, I gave up.

You were there at the beginning of the Internet if you’ve heard the following: “Get off the web, I need to make a call!”

Learn from the mistakes of others, you can never live long enough to make them all yourself.

Chickens only make one sound, because they can’t think outside the bawks.

I didn’t get the part of the brain that lets you relax, just the one that overthinks.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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