Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

I wish people had mute buttons in real life.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

I hurt my bottom after shaking it at the office party. It was a twerk-place injury.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Ruined a Ferrari guy’s day today by telling him that I loved his Corvette.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Fun fact: a person’s music taste can actually tell their intelligence level.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

I get jealous when I find someone playing a song I thought only I knew.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Me, first week as a volunteer firefighter thinking we only rescue cats: We’re going where?

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

The older I get, the more I understand why witches lived alone in the woods.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Oh, you drink black coffee? Tell your ulcer I said good morning.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Do y’all ever think about how, in Korean, you can’t scream over text because there’s no uppercase… I think about that all the time, for some reason.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

I hate taking my pants off at the dentist. So humiliating.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,319

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

Running feels great until you compare it to not running.

Trending via Threads:

Dear diary, I have to lock in tomorrow, fix everything, and do everything.

Spotted on Slack:

The good news is cannon deaths have gone down dramatically in the last hundred years.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I tell it like it is: Sometimes I watch the calls on my cell phone and just wait for it to stop ringing.

Just landed via Discord:

I got all my marriage skills from watching Al Bundy.

Trending via Pinterest:

I am at the age where I question throwing away a box because, “It’s a really nice box.”

Just landed via Telegram:

Imagine if spiders giggled when they ran away from us.

Making waves on Reddit:

Going “Omgg, that’s crazy,” every time my coworkers talk until it’s time to go home.

Spotted on Twitch:

Ladies, if you receive flowers with no card on them today, they’re from me.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

As you get older, nothing loses its sting more than an authority figure saying they are disappointed in you. Like, I don’t know what to tell you, dude, we can’t both live in the prison of your expectations.

Let me seduce you with my knowledge on useless things.

3 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I'm prepared for the most fascinating TED Talk on rubber duck history! 🦆✨📚

fact, flirtation, humor, knowledge, let, me, seduction, things, trivia, useless, useless fact

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Girls will be like, “This is my comfort song,” and it’s the howling of a wolf inside a dark forest.

0

2 months ago

animal, animal metaphor, comfort, comfort song, dark, dark forest, forest, girls, humor, inside, irony, metaphor, music, music taste, personality, personality traits, song, taste, traits, wolf
Sometimes I read a text and think, “What a psycho.” And then I press send.

0

2 months ago

communication, digital, humor, i, impulsive, media, messaging, press, psycho, reaction, read, send, social, social media, sometimes, text, think
(Making small talk with a couple) So have you guys ever cheated on each other?

0

2 months ago

awkward, cheat, conversation, couple, ever, guys, making, relationship, small, small talk, talk
I truly wonder what it sounded like when Medusa washed her hair at night.

0

2 months ago

hair, humor, i, Medusa, mythology, night, sound, wonder
Smart people are like huskies. If you don’t give them an interesting problem, they become an interesting problem.

0

2 months ago

creativity, engagement, give, humor, husky, intelligence, interesting, interesting problem, people, problem, smart, smart people, wit
I have noticed something quite worrying: after I buy more things I have less money.

0

2 months ago

after, buy, buying, consumerism, financial, financial humor, humor, i, irony, less, money, noticed, something, spending, things, worry, worrying

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on WeChat this month:

The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.

25 shares on Instagram this month:

I deliberately don’t go to bed early. I don’t want to look like I could be useful for anything the next day.

24 shares on Twitch this month:

Those security guards at the Samsung store are Guardians of the Galaxy.

73 shares on Discord this month:

The miracle of DoorDash is that I just pick up my phone, punch a few things into it, and within half an hour I have, at my door, a $52 salad.

58 shares on Discord this month:

I always figure it out on my own, I just need to panic first.

53 shares on Messenger this month:

My favorite 90s skill: Uninstalling my car stereo and hiding it in my glove box in under 15 seconds.

34 shares on YouTube this month:

The meeting of the Anonymous Pessimists was canceled. It wouldn’t have helped anyway.

22 shares on Snapchat this month:

Please pray for my daughter, who had to empty the dishwasher when she “just did this yesterday and she’s tired.”

47 shares on Pinterest this month:

Statistically speaking, on average, a person has two arms, two legs, one testicle, and one ovary.

50 shares on Pinterest this month:

Life is like a box of chocolates. More expensive than I was expecting.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Listen to the birds, not the news.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness simply didn’t know where to go shopping.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

You’re the human embodiment of an “ugh.”

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

I see you liked my selfie, but what about my ideas?

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Eating Halloween candy and putting up my Christmas tree because nothing matters anymore.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Hello 911? Yes, my wife is forcing me to walk over to meet the neighbors.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Folding laundry is like packing to stay home.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

I make her eyes roll back. Not in bed though. I’m just annoying.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

I would have loads of money if I liked Ramen Noodles and hated vodka.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Liquor store clerk: “Do you need help?” Me: “Yes, but I decided to come here instead.”

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

“Well at least I don’t have to wake up any more.” Is what I want my tombstone to say.

Just landed via WeChat:

Becoming a psychic for the foreseeable future.

Just shared via TikTok:

Nothing I do for money is passion-based. It’s just pure hatred for being broke.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Be bold, be italic, but never regular.

Making waves on Twitch:

Look, 80’s kids went from Inspector Gadget to Terminator so we have a lot of mixed feelings about technology.

Making waves on TikTok:

“Do it scared!” Thanks, but I have done everything scared. When is it my turn to do it calm?

Seen just now on Messenger:

Damn girl, are you a plate of microwaved leftovers? Because you’re hot on the outside and cold on the inside.

Spotted on Discord:

I won’t bore you with my problems because all of my problems are fascinating.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Giving people access to the internet was a massive mistake.

Shared recently on Threads:

Vegans will look you dead in the eye and tell you cauliflower tastes like ribs.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Let me seduce you with my knowledge on useless things.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Girls will be like, “This is my comfort song,” and it’s the howling of a wolf inside a dark forest.

Sometimes I read a text and think, “What a psycho.” And then I press send.

(Making small talk with a couple) So have you guys ever cheated on each other?

I truly wonder what it sounded like when Medusa washed her hair at night.

Smart people are like huskies. If you don’t give them an interesting problem, they become an interesting problem.

I have noticed something quite worrying: after I buy more things I have less money.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨