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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

FOMO is a summer thing. Winter is all about FOGO (fear of going out).

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

But if i put my laundry away, the laundry chair will be out of a job.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Three out of five times, my intuition is right. Not in casinos, though.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Hey, I noticed you’re not saying what I want.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

If I had a tiny girlfriend, I would love to throw her across gaps so she can pull levers and open doors that get me to her part of the level.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

Most venomous snakes just make “Tsssss”. But I know some that say “Hi”.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

If you turn your phone upside down, the stock market is actually doing quite well.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

A selfie only a mother could like.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

My boss wants me to train some other employees so it’s pretty obvious he has no idea I am completely incompetent.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Lego better be trying to cure child cancer with how much their shit cost.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,578

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

In filling out an application, where it says, “In case of emergency notify”, I put “Doctor.”

Just landed via Facebook:

My grandad fought Germans on the beaches of Normandy. This was last summer and it was very embarrassing.

Shared recently on Discord:

If men didn’t exist, I would simply go for a 2 a.m. walk every night and listen to music in my AirPods.

Spotted on Twitch:

I want Wolverine claws. Not for violence or anything. I want them for easing my way through reality. Like opening an Amazon package.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

The idea that the zombies in the 28 Days series exist entirely in Britain is genuinely hilarious. The rest of the world saw that and was like, “Yeah, they can handle it on their own.”

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Double chins are better than double faces.

Seen just now on Reddit:

The local casino is hosting a speed dating event. Just what every woman needs, a new boyfriend with a gambling problem.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Why did they call it an AI-generated picture and not a ‘fauxtograph’?

Making waves on Discord:

I hate the saying: “Get up, the sun is shining!” What am I supposed to do? Photosynthesis?

Just landed via Facebook:

“You’re a cardiologist? Is that like a fancy name for an auto mechanic?”

Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.

0
Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.
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Commentary:
"Life isn't a fairy tale, folks! 🧚‍♀️👠 Unless you find yourself at a party losing your shoe at midnight – then it's safe to say you've had one too many fairy tale cocktails! 🍸🌙 Just call yourself Cinderella and stumble back home!"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on Discord this month:

My parents didn’t raise me to order something expensive when someone else is paying.

64 shares on X this month:

Attention: will the owner of a small blue planet with tectonic plates please attend to your vehicle. It is overheating.

95 shares on Snapchat this month:

This year I’d like an advent calendar with 24 different tranquilizers.

82 shares on Telegram this month:

Can we normalize arguing with little kids? They’re so rude.

59 shares on Pinterest this month:

No amount of daylight can save us.

92 shares on Instagram this month:

I ordered mushrooms on my pizza. When do they kick in?

70 shares on TikTok this month:

This site could use some more people who like to argue about literally anything.

29 shares on X this month:

Nothing you want to do has a timeline.

21 shares on Pinterest this month:

If I were you, I would rather be me.

67 shares on Threads this month:

People just don’t build cities on rock and roll anymore.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at the age where I can remember things that never happened.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I remember when a computer didn’t automatically connect to the internet, it used to make a screaming noise. We should have listened.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Monday: The only day when you can wear the same outfit from the day before without anyone noticing.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Hear me out: a streaming service that doesn’t keep increasing their prices and actually has movies you want to watch.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Have you ever met someone and thought that you couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your life without them?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Grok, is this true? Grok, am I original? Grok, am I the only one? Grok, am I sexual?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My whole life, I never read a warning label telling me not to eat laundry detergent or put glue in my hair, somehow I just knew.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

You ever been in the middle of a conversation and realized this is why you avoid people?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Need to shave my legs again. Blow-drying takes far too long.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I never give second chances, just 10 and then goodbye.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,652

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Why do people think it’s ok to ask why a person is single? I don’t ask why you’re unhappily married.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

When I was young, I couldn’t wait to be older. Well, I wasn’t expecting this shit!

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Sorry I didn’t respond to your message, I got stuck in a cloud while skydiving and lived for 72 days by drinking rain and eating birds that flew too close.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

If you ever feel stupid, just remember there are people who forgive cheating.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

I love saying “my man” and not his name, so when I get a new one, nobody knows.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Hot singles in your area! They don’t want to talk to you. But they’re there.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That’s common sense leaving your body.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

9-5 is really 10-2 if you’re working remote.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

I’m so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign, and we played tic-tac-toe on top of it.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

There’s only one way we’ll at least occasionally get normal elected officials and that’s if we pick them by random lottery.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on X:

80% of arguments start because someone hasn’t eaten yet.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Life stopped being real after 2019 anyways.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I wish I could join, but I’m busy plotting revenge because my kids laughed when I showed them I can shake it better than Shakira.

Live now on Pinterest:

My life started becoming a mess when I was put in charge of my own bedtime.

Just shared via Discord:

If hot showers aren’t good for you then why do I emerge from them bright red like a beautiful ruby?

Just landed via Reddit:

If you don’t fall in love with me, I’ll write poetry about you and then you’ll regret it.

Freshly posted on Discord:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, begging for my cat’s attention.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

“Well, at least tomorrow is Friday.” -Me, having a bad Wednesday that’s about to get even worse.

Just landed via Reddit:

I love chatty cats like, yeah, bro, meow meow, you’re so right.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

They should invent a brain that doesn’t whisper bad things to you.

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