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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

I need a reasonable job. Something like $3,000 an hour. Nothing too wild.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Shaved my entire body for this post, just in case.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Metallica’s “Nothing Else Matters” is my favorite song about that 5 minutes of sleep before the alarm goes off.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

“Overdressed” is a social construct created by hating girls.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

When is someone actually going to change the surprise in the avocado? This hard core is kind of a stupid toy.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Kiss me like you’re trying to damn my soul and save it in the same breath.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Being an adult is realizing $1000 is little money to have, but a lot to owe.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

I only accept apologies in cash.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

I’ve shouted so much sporting advice from my sofa already this summer. It’s very tiring but hopefully it’s helping.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

The worst part about borrowing money is having to pay it back or move to a new city.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,349

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

It’s actually crazy we figured out how to grow real diamonds that are cheaper and better quality than the real thing, and so many people are still like, no thanks, the suffering is what makes it special.

Trending via Reddit:

Due to inflation, a picture is now worth 2300 words.

Live now on Facebook:

I respect perfume commercials being like we can’t show you a smell mind if we just go insane for 30 seconds.

Going bananas on Threads:

Aliens, robots, mutant ladybugs — whoever takes over will be better than this.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I want a girlfriend so hot that people walking down the street know that I am funny.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

When people don’t drink coffee, it’s like, okay, but how do you solve the problem of being awake?

Spotted on TikTok:

Roadtripping with my family has taught me that my marriage can withstand anything except roadtripping with my family.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

My skin has so much oil, I’m surprised countries aren’t fighting over who controls it.

Live now on Discord:

I wonder what other animals we tried to ride before discovering that horses were cool with it.

Going viral on Discord:

Take your days off, these jobs don’t care about you.

Looking over both shoulders before googling “Chinese burger.”

0
Looking over both shoulders before googling “Chinese burger.”
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trying to stay under the Google radar like a stealthy ninja while searching for secret burger recipes 🍔🤫🥷

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on Threads this month:

Welcome to social media. A person who does not understand humor will contact you shortly.

28 shares on Messenger this month:

Dudes get a MacBook, and all of a sudden, they got work to do in public places.

97 shares on Messenger this month:

Sorry, I don’t think I can hang out this weekend, my 4-year-old is still telling a joke.

74 shares on Pinterest this month:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean it won’t be a good time.

47 shares on Threads this month:

Every grocery store becomes an escape room if you see someone you know.

24 shares on LinkedIn this month:

A fly swatter, but for close talkers.

37 shares on X this month:

You wish you had this many chins.

70 shares on YouTube this month:

He’s an everything bagel… I’m just a nothing burger…

10 shares on Reddit this month:

The house from Hansel and Gretel but made out of tacos.

55 shares on Telegram this month:

But that was my emotional support daylight.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I want him in ways that are deeply deeply upsetting to modern feminism.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

My superpower? I can look you right in the eyes while you’re talking and not hear a single word you said.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I drink my coffee black because I like to save my calories for alcohol.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

A big shout-out to all the beekeepers. Our unstung heroes.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The moon is literally dragging the oceans around, and you think your body shouldn’t feel it?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Be the nonsense you wish to see in the world.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

What if we kissed while watching the decay of our society?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I had to quit my job because people kept falling in love with me there.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

There will always be miserable people inviting you to their misery.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,679

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

You gotta wonder why they just don’t make all bread garlic bread.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Unfortunately, when you don’t burden people with your problems, they assume you don’t have any. Lol.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

You’re never too old or too stupid to become older and stupider.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

“It’s bikini season,” I whisper, eating another bikini.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

No one lies more than a parent who says, “We’ll see.” You know we’re not seeing anything.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Third wheeling with two girls who are best friends is so much worse than third wheeling a couple.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Microsoft Teams needs to add a “spank” reaction for when I want to reprimand my employees during a video call.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Me pulling into a full parking lot: Don’t these people have homes?

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

I always need to pee, but it’s just because my heart is so big it pushes on my bladder.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

Coding: Where incessantly talking to yourself seems completely normal and debugging is like being a detective in a movie where you are both the detective and the perpetrator.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Laying in bed with the nervous system of someone going to war.

Making waves on Instagram:

AI could never steal company time the way I do.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Dentist appointments are so weird. “Hi, nice to meet you, could you root around in my mouth for a bit?”

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

A person becomes 10 times more attractive not by their looks but by photoshop.

Just landed via Twitch:

She’s got style. She’s got grace. She dropped her cellphone on her face. She’s a lady.

Breaking via Instagram:

Having a mom who cooks good food is such a big flex.

Making waves on Telegram:

Those eyes ain’t gonna roll itself, let me help you.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Snaccident: eating a whole bag of Doritos in one sitting.

Seen just now on Instagram:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” I asked God to strike me dead with lightning.

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