Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Saving on divorce lawyers by staying single.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Hey girl, are you an extraterrestrial? ’Cause your husband’s out here acting like you don’t exist.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

If these walls could talk, they would definitely say “Wow, this guy really does add cheese to everything after all!”

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

I was actually doing so well until your email found me.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Human hibernation should be a thing.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

If I was a weather man, I’d leak the weather early to pretty women.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

The lion doesn’t concern itself with the contents of your prior email.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

In my culture, family is completely unimportant. And we hate food.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

My watch battery is fully charged. So I got some time.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

We don’t get a song of the summer this year because we were bad.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,229

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

I want my house spotless, but kicking my kids out seems wrong.

Trending via Pinterest:

Old age comes at a bad time. Once you finally know everything, you start to forget everything you know.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Men become instantly more attractive when they wear aviators; it’s science.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

When the devil couldn’t reach me, he made my brain my biggest enemy.

Making waves on WeChat:

We are all just prisoners here of our phone device.

Live now on Telegram:

No better feeling than getting home and realizing you forgot the one thing you went out for.

Going viral on Twitch:

Actually, men should take the pill. It makes more sense to unload the gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Do y’all ever get pre-annoyed? Like, you already know someone is about to piss you off.

Just shared via Slack:

I am not someone you have to entertain if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Friends with benefits, but it’s just that they make delicious baked goods.

My bad if I ever left you on read. I didn’t mean to open the message.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"No hard feelings if I ghosted your text, I was just practicing my disappearing act 🎩🐇✨"

apology, bad, communication, ever, humor, i, left, mean, message, misunderstanding, open, procrastination, read, texting

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

For once, I’d like to spiral into control.

0

2 months ago

control, expectations, humor, ID, irony, life, once, self-control, spiral
There’s something so romantic about getting McDonald’s with a lover. Intimate perhaps.

0

2 months ago

activity, couple, date, fast, fast food, food, fun, fun activity, getting, humor, intimacy, lover, McDonald’s, romantic, something
I don’t want to stand, Apple Watch. You stand.

0

2 months ago

apple, Apple Watch, fitness, humor, i, irony, laziness, motivation, stand, technology, want, watch
I should be able to eat one huge meal a month, like a snake. This every-few-hours shit sucks.

0

3 weeks ago

able, complaint, eat, eating, food, huge, humor, hunger, i, meal, month, shit, should, snake, sucks
Aliens traveled millions of light years to get here to visit New Jersey.

0

2 months ago

alien, aliens, fiction, here, humor, Jersey, joke, light, light year, new, New Jersey, science, science fiction, travel, visit, year
I don’t need therapy, I need a bagel with cream cheese.

0

2 months ago

bagel, cheese, craving, cream, cream cheese, food, humor, i, need, self-care, snack, therapy

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on TikTok this month:

My tattoo means that I can’t be trusted with $200.

48 shares on Pinterest this month:

The nice thing about wintertime is that it’s darker for longer, so you see a lot less people.

92 shares on Discord this month:

Everyone becomes a robo-dancer when the motion sensor faucet isn’t working.

31 shares on Snapchat this month:

My ex was like “I know a spot,” then took me to the lowest point in my life.

90 shares on Twitch this month:

Looking forward to another year of crushing reality and unfulfilled dreams.

67 shares on X this month:

Hate when I get halfway there and have to go back for my teeth.

91 shares on Instagram this month:

America was more fun when organized crime was done by Italians in Chicago.

90 shares on Snapchat this month:

Last year I had no valentine, this year I also have no valentine. Consistency!

68 shares on WeChat this month:

The lion does not concern himself with the few small drops of pee that got on his boxers at the urinal even after he did a few shakes to be sure.

96 shares on X this month:

Don’t understand why electricians aren’t called power rangers, but okay.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

I’m tired of commercials trying to be funny. Scare me into buying something. I want to be terrified of buying the wrong toothpaste.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Sometimes I want to go back in time and punch myself in the face.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Please go out, have fun, have friends, make connections. That mysterious lifestyle won’t save you.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

My dream DUI is driving a Saab through the Great British Bake Off tent.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Apparently I’m the reason why I never have any money. I am shocked!

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Everybody loves that comfort food until you end up with that comfort body.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

I love that the entire economy is just different types of scams now.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

I feel like an adult spelling bee would humble a lot of us.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Dinosaurs are always described as “roaming” the earth, which is patronizing as hell, I bet they had places to go and important shit to do.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Moving houses/apartments gotta be top 3 worst human experiences.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Instagram:

The show “How I Met Your Mother” was just a really long TED talk.

Just shared via Threads:

I am “any text received after 9pm will be answered at 6am” years old.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Today, I’m going to give it my almost.

Spotted on Threads:

A true friend is someone who thinks you’re a good egg, even though they know you’re slightly cracked.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

The only thing stopping cheesecake from being a breakfast food is you.

Just shared via Instagram:

The best part about Smarties is pouring them into an empty prescription bottle and shaking them all into my mouth while waiting in line.

Trending via Threads:

Hate when I view someone’s story, and it’s their birthday.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I’m drinking coffee so I don’t say mean things to you. You’re welcome.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I threw a ball for my dog. May be a little extravagant, but he looks great in a tux.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Imagine the sound a centipede would make if they wore tiny flip flops.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My bad if I ever left you on read. I didn’t mean to open the message.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

For once, I’d like to spiral into control.

There’s something so romantic about getting McDonald’s with a lover. Intimate perhaps.

I don’t want to stand, Apple Watch. You stand.

I should be able to eat one huge meal a month, like a snake. This every-few-hours shit sucks.

Aliens traveled millions of light years to get here to visit New Jersey.

I don’t need therapy, I need a bagel with cream cheese.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨