Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Your pronouns are “side/chick”.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

For once, I’d like to spiral into control.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

If a woman says she’ll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be. No need to remind her every half hour.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Why would anyone ever jump OUT of a cake?

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Biting your tongue while eating is a perfect example of how you can still screw up, even with decades of experience.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

“I don’t care!”, he posted, again.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

There should be an Olympics where athletes can take as many drugs as they want. Like, to hell with y’all, let’s see how high humans can really jump.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

You either die a people pleaser, or live long enough to start leaving texts on read.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

The first 120 hours after the weekend are always the worst.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

They say dress for the job you want, but this baby diaper isn’t very comfortable.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,449

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

Why do my kids have Veteran’s Day off, they haven’t done shit.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Filling animals with helium is kinda weird, but whatever floats your goat.

Breaking via TikTok:

White, black, yellow, brown, Democrat, Republican, man, woman, straight, gay, transgender, Jew, Christian, Muslim, young and old — you will all taste the same to the zombies.

Just landed via Discord:

I like that linguists chose the term ‘loan words,’ implying that one day we’ll get them back.

Trending via TikTok:

Welcome to your 40s: here’s an extra chin.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

People say 70-80 year olds are unemployable because of mental decline, yet somehow they’re running all the countries.

Trending via Pinterest:

So many people to disappoint, so little time.

Just shared via TikTok:

“Likes your story” is a declaration of love.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

“You look tired.” Yes, bro, I stayed up all night obsessing over things I have no control over.

Just shared via WeChat:

Why is the Formula 1 so afraid of rain? Just drive with more caution. That’s what I always do when it rains.

My dental plan is, “I guess I’ll just chew on this side of my mouth from now on.”

3 months ago

Funny Quotes

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Commentary:
When your bank account's telling you to chew like a pirate with a toothache 😂🦷🏴‍☠️

care, chew, dental, dental care, dental plan, guess, humor, i, joke, just, mouth, plan, side

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

There are beautiful horny women (me) being forced into celibacy due to the utter lack of worthy men in existence. This is the world we are living in now.

2 months ago

beautiful, being, celibacy, dating, due, existence, forced, frustration, horny, humor, lack, life, living, man, me, men, modern, modern life, woman, women, world, worthy, worthy man
I let my cat smell every wine I drink so she can get a job as a sommelier and help pay my rent.

1 week ago

cat, drink, drinking, every, help, humor, i, job, let, pay, pet, rent, smell, sommelier, wine
They say 30 is the new 20, and 40 the new 30. All I know is 9 p.m. is the new midnight.

2 weeks ago

20, 30, 40, 9, age, bedtime, humor, i, know, lifestyle, midnight, new, night, party, say, time
The best essential oils are the ones that drip out of Tacos.

1 week ago

best, cooking, essential, essential oil, food, food humor, humor, oil, taco
I slept like a baby, knowing I’m a burden to everyone around me.

3 days ago

anxiety, around, baby, burden, everyone, humor, i, irony, knowing, me, reassurance, self-deprecation, sleep
Mashed potatoes are just German guacamole.

2 hours ago

avocado, food, food joke, German, guacamole, humor, joke, just, mashed, mashed potat, potat, potato

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on Reddit this month:

I like my job, but if I had the opportunity to become a rich housewife, I would take it.

44 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Be the reason someone burns sage.

83 shares on Reddit this month:

You can say “Have a nice day,” no problem, but saying “Enjoy the next 24 hours” sounds vaguely threatening.

53 shares on X this month:

Yeah, the planet is dying. The government hates us. The animals are leaving. The aliens aren’t contacting us. We might be alone. It just might be you and me.

31 shares on Snapchat this month:

A political guy who supports communism because he hates applying for jobs and just wants to be assigned somewhere.

91 shares on Discord this month:

Another fine day ruined by responsibilities.

67 shares on Discord this month:

A large group of people is called an “eww, no thank you”

74 shares on Discord this month:

Being a serial killer is much like being a comedian, in that you either hit it big and get your own Netflix special, or you spend eternity popping up on shitty podcasts.

57 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You know it’s bad when even a cheeseburger doesn’t help.

95 shares on Telegram this month:

Who called it an undertaker and not a host mortem?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

I found a box of VHS tapes. I’m a bit nervous about the one that has the label torn off.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

This is the wrong generation for people with an old soul.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

I think every app should, by law, let you deactivate all of its short-form video content.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

The children seemed disappointed when I told them the best part about being an adult is going to bed early.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Some of us better hope Santa doesn’t check social media, because if he does, all we’re getting for Christmas is therapy.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

I would like to be reincarnated as less tired.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, I brought homemade brownies for everyone.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Note to self: Very important! First hang up, then insult.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Drugs don’t ruin lives. Drug tests do.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

“Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.” Yeah, because I won’t be leaving my bed.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

What do you even say when someone knocks on your bathroom stall … like, what’s the protocol?

Shared recently on Instagram:

If you don’t buy any snacks, you’re proud for a moment and then incredibly sad.

Breaking via Threads:

Why would I put money where my mouth is when wine exists?

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I’m officially at the age where I’m not upgrading my phone until it stops working.

Going viral on Discord:

Is ChatGPT my father-in-law because it keeps making stuff up and passing it off as fact?

Making waves on Pinterest:

I love unplanned fun.

Going viral on Slack:

I don’t do anything with my life except romanticize and decay with indecision.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Ratatouille is hilarious because the villain wasn’t even evil; he just didn’t want food cooked by rats?!?

Trending via Discord:

Don’t let anyone treat you like pond water. You are Fiji water, okay?

Going viral on Reddit:

Hey bartender, can you turn down the music, please? This guy I just met is trying to explain how baseball works.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My dental plan is, “I guess I’ll just chew on this side of my mouth from now on.”

Keep the laugh going 😂

There are beautiful horny women (me) being forced into celibacy due to the utter lack of worthy men in existence. This is the world we are living in now.

I let my cat smell every wine I drink so she can get a job as a sommelier and help pay my rent.

They say 30 is the new 20, and 40 the new 30. All I know is 9 p.m. is the new midnight.

The best essential oils are the ones that drip out of Tacos.

I slept like a baby, knowing I’m a burden to everyone around me.

Mashed potatoes are just German guacamole.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨