Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • The fastest mammal on earth is the smartass on the web.
  • “We should get tickets” is as close to a rock concert as I get these days.
  • Fellas, be sure to never ask a lady any questions on a date. This makes them feel interrogated. Strong declarative statements only.
  • I smoke weed for my mental health and your personal safety.
  • I just sneezed into my elbow and now I’m waiting for a preschool teacher to praise me.
  • I look stable, but I talk to animals and wait for them to reply.