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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

My favorite pastime is staying up way later than I should and complaining the next day about how tired I am.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

If you compliment me, my glasses fog up.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

I’m actually breaking generational curses by surviving my 20s without marrying a man who hates me.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Wanted to report a YouTube video, but there is no option for “Cringe”, so I just picked “Terrorism”.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

I bet this email finds you silently screaming on the inside.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Jackie Chan used to say “I don’t want trouble“ and then break everybody’s legs.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

I wasn’t planning on moving, but I was just invited to the neighborhood fall potluck, so I guess now I have no choice.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

What’s a beginner question to ask for someone just getting into being nosy?

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Potato chips ARE vegetables! I exclaim as I tear open the third bag.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

The miracle of DoorDash is that I just pick up my phone, punch a few things into it, and within half an hour I have, at my door, a $52 salad.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,477

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

A moth flies into your face out of nowhere. You could ask him why he does that, but what would you do with the information?

Just shared via Twitch:

I told the trees what you did. Be wary when you enter the forest next.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I tell it like it is: Sometimes I watch the calls on my cell phone and just wait for it to stop ringing.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Jobs are so clingy. Why do you need to see me 40 hours a week?

Just shared via Messenger:

Why is the Formula 1 so afraid of rain? Just drive with more caution. That’s what I always do when it rains.

Seen just now on Threads:

They should invent a customer service center that isn’t “currently experiencing higher than normal call volume”.

Shared recently on Threads:

This entire year has been the Nightmare Before Christmas.

Going viral on Reddit:

I could have been the favorite mistress of the Sun King at Versailles, but nooooooooo I had to be born into late stage capitalism.

Going bananas on Reddit:

I want the dreams to chase me for once.

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a vacation… while still on vacation.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I totally relate; my suitcase isn't even unpacked, and I'm already planning my next great escape! 🌴✈️😂

deserve, humor, i, irony, relaxation, self-awareness, still, thinking, toxic, toxic trait, trait, travel, vacation, while

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you’re alone on Thanksgiving, venmo me $25 and I’ll call and ask you when are you gonna get a “real” job and give me grandchildren.

0

2 months ago

25, alone, ask, call, family, give, grandchildren, humor, job, me, money, real, Thanksgiving, Venmo
It sucks when you have to stand on an escalator for 30 minutes because of a power cut.

0

2 months ago

30, cut, escalator, frustration, humor, inconvenience, minutes, power, power cut, stand, standing, sucks, waiting
Scams used to be like “free money!” and now they’re like “hello, we have a job for you”, which seems to be a bad sign.

0

2 months ago

bad, bad sign, change, expectations, free, free money, hello, humor, irony, job, money, scam, scams, seems, sign, used
Can’t believe penguins have to publish all those books with their tiny hands.

0

2 months ago

animal, believe, book, books, hand, hands, humor, penguin, publish, tiny, tiny hand, writing
Everyone is getting pregnant or married, and I’m back to “What’s your favorite color?“

0

2 months ago

back, color, colour, everyone, favorite, favourite, getting, married, pregnant
Maybe the reason Miss Piggy is still single is she has a fear of kermitment.

0

2 months ago

commitment, fear, humor, joke, Kermit, maybe, miss, Miss Piggy, piggy, reason, relationship, single, still

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on YouTube this month:

Don’t worry, baby, the back pain is because your wings are growing.

95 shares on Instagram this month:

Reverse cowgirl, so we can both address the elephant in the room.

11 shares on Threads this month:

Lowkey terrifying when someone attractive is actually into you, omg.

13 shares on Discord this month:

I avoid those club cameras like my life depends on it.

51 shares on Facebook this month:

Plot Twist: Your taxes cheated on you.

84 shares on Twitch this month:

When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don’t answer because I’m eating.

58 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m full of rage, but in a very chill and nonchalant way.

94 shares on Pinterest this month:

What I’m trying to say is, “Hello, here’s my entire heart and all of my devotion.”

47 shares on Twitch this month:

Coughing has finally overtaken speaking Arabic as the most taboo thing to do in an airport.

77 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Getting a nose ring, so I don’t lose my keys.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my wife some months ago, where would you be hiding?

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

My girlfriend confided in me she loves when I blow air on her when she’s hot, but honestly, I’m not a fan.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

I love when my grandma texts me — because I know it took her an hour.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

My dog and I play this game, it’s called “What Are You Chewing On Now?” It goes both ways.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Just saw someone my age running and she wasn’t chasing an ice-cream truck.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Has anybody else completely lost it or is it just me and Kanye?

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Don’t forget to set your clocks back to seasonal depression this weekend.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

My favorite childhood memory is having energy.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

I do all my own stunts, but never intentionally.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Single in the womb, single till the tomb!

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

Instead of working on making myself a better person, I am going to purchase a cool new jacket.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Not having a crush is dangerous. What am I supposed to think about? What if I invent something?

Spotted on Threads:

Alcohol is a vicious cycle: regret, recovery, repeat.

Making waves on Messenger:

Today I choose kindness, but we’ll see, it’s still early.

Spotted on Threads:

If I were a bird, I know who I’d poop on.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Nothing ruins a Friday like realizing it’s only Wednesday.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Ladies, if a man says he will fix something, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

If I was a fish, I’d be smoking all the seaweed.

Seen just now on Threads:

Why is it spelled “camouflage” and not “ “?

Live now on LinkedIn:

Please don’t ask me about my dream job. I would never work in my dreams.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a vacation… while still on vacation.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If you’re alone on Thanksgiving, venmo me $25 and I’ll call and ask you when are you gonna get a “real” job and give me grandchildren.

It sucks when you have to stand on an escalator for 30 minutes because of a power cut.

Scams used to be like “free money!” and now they’re like “hello, we have a job for you”, which seems to be a bad sign.

Can’t believe penguins have to publish all those books with their tiny hands.

Everyone is getting pregnant or married, and I’m back to “What’s your favorite color?“

Maybe the reason Miss Piggy is still single is she has a fear of kermitment.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨