Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

I wish I lived in a sitcom, and my friends just barged into my apartment uninvited.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Boys are disgusting. Can’t believe I like these things.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

You ever get road rage while walking behind someone moving slowly at the grocery store?

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Everyone’s gangster until they need to pee.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

I’m so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign, and we played tic-tac-toe on top of it.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Responding to all selfies with “this should work.”

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

You unfollow me because you are afraid of falling in love with me. I know!

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

I have many talents, all equally un-monetizable.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

The most important meal of the day is the next one.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,304

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

The pizza delivery guys say “see you tomorrow” to everyone, right?

Making waves on Snapchat:

Tried counting sheep, but now I’m emotionally invested in their backstories and I think one might need therapy.

Just shared via Facebook:

There’s a reason we say cheese and not salad when we have to smile for a photo.

Just shared via X:

I need carpenters to remember that beds are also for sex. The aesthetics are great and all, but what is with all the squeaking?

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I’m actually really peace-loving, but then there are other people.

Just landed via Messenger:

Can’t believe we stayed up and screamed “Happy New Year” for this shit.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

He doesn’t realize it yet, but this Saturday, I’ll be asking him to untangle 400 feet of Christmas lights.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I bet before the band got popular, Barenaked Ladies concerts had a lot of pissed off attendees.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Donuts are beautiful creatures, and they deserve their own week on the nature channels.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Don’t give up, we must remain silly.

Obviously, I’m gonna upload pictures with filters and in my best angles. If you wanna see the ugly side of me, come to my house, but bring ice cream.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Why showcase the "au naturel" version when filtered fabulousness is just a swipe away? 🍦😜 #IceCreamGetsYouIn

angle, appearance, best, bring, cream, filter, honesty, house, humor, ice, ice cream, me, media, pictures, selfie, side, social, social media, ugly, ugly side

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Let’s just call ourselves divorced now and skip the stressful, expensive bit in the middle.

0

2 months ago

bit, breakup, call, divorce, expense, expensive, humor, just, marriage, middle, relationship, skip, stress
If the man is silent, he is a thinker. If the woman is silent, the thinker is in big trouble.

0

2 months ago

big, communication, humor, man, relationship, silent, thinker, trouble, woman
Ever since I turned 20, someone is always in Japan or Italy. Is it like this forever?

0

2 months ago

20, age, always, curiosity, ever, forever, future, humor, i, Italy, Japan, long-term, someone, travel, turned, world, world travel
Hey, sorry I cant make it tonight. I am beset on all sides by foes.

0

2 months ago

am, beset, excuse, foe, funny statement, humor, i, night, sides, sorry, statement, tonight
Welcome to your 50s, you now take supplements to help your memory, but you can’t remember if you took them today.

0

2 months ago

50s, aging, forgetfulness, health, help, humor, memory, remember, reminder, supplement, take, today, welcome
“I’m so grateful that so many things are none of my business.”

0

2 months ago

business, grateful, gratitude, humor, none, privacy, sarcasm, things

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on Pinterest this month:

Another fine day ruined by responsibilities.

45 shares on Messenger this month:

I think I’m closer to retirement than to a relationship.

19 shares on Reddit this month:

Not sure if “life hack” exactly, but I fell down the stairs and now my whole family is being so nice and catering to my needs.

50 shares on Slack this month:

“Mom, how did we get so rich?” your father said, “Thanks, nothing from my end,” on thousands of important Zoom meetings.

86 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I watch “Law and Order” so much that when I turn off the TV, I wipe my fingerprints off the remote.

95 shares on Snapchat this month:

This entire “presidency” is like being tied to a chair and watching a toddler play with a loaded pistol.

70 shares on Slack this month:

I’m not joining no alternate Twitter app. If this gets taken down, I’m starting a family.

32 shares on Discord this month:

The night is dark and full of terrors. My day is long and full of meetings. Same thing.

26 shares on Snapchat this month:

“Can’t wait till I get older” was the dumbest thing I ever said.

41 shares on WhatsApp this month:

This December is not Decembering like the other Decembers Decembered.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Crazy that caffeine has no short or long-term negative side effects. Just a super drug from God.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Sorry, but I don’t think we should see each other anymore. Your Katana skills are lacking.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

I do my best to kill everyone with kindness, but they don’t seem to be dying.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Imagine working at Pornhub. At like the corporate office as a developer or whatever. White collar. That’s gotta be a weird job. Working there has gotta be bloody weird.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

I have this epiphany every night that I need to turn it up a notch.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Being called by your real name in a relationship kinda sounds like a divorce.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Do cats have a sense of causation between grooming themselves and coughing up hairballs, or do they think it’s just an annoying separate thing which just happens to them sometimes?

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

I believe in annoyed at first sight.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Watched a movie on Netflix last night that was so bad, I walked out of my own house.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Just gonna drink light beers today, because I don’t wanna get drunk but I do enjoy peeing 30 times.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

People always say, “There’s plenty of fish in the sea” … yeah, but I’ve got my eye fixed on that specific, emotionally distant salmon who has commitment issues.

Live now on Reddit:

*Pointing at a mothers shrieking baby* Is this guy bothering you?

Broadcasted on Instagram:

If you wanna make someone cry, just show them the earliest year they can retire.

Just shared via YouTube:

My life is a constant cycle of waiting for the weekend.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Golf is a great way to learn all of the new curse words your subconscious has been cooking up in the lab.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Opening up to people is a scam. Don’t do it.

Breaking via Discord:

Hate when you’re trying to take a nap and the dentist is all “Please open your mouth.”

Trending via Pinterest:

I sign all anniversary cards with ‘Way to commit to the bit!’

Breaking via Messenger:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be using humor to hide pain.

Spotted on Messenger:

A middle finger hits different when your nails are done.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Obviously, I’m gonna upload pictures with filters and in my best angles. If you wanna see the ugly side of me, come to my house, but bring ice cream.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Let’s just call ourselves divorced now and skip the stressful, expensive bit in the middle.

If the man is silent, he is a thinker. If the woman is silent, the thinker is in big trouble.

Ever since I turned 20, someone is always in Japan or Italy. Is it like this forever?

Hey, sorry I cant make it tonight. I am beset on all sides by foes.

Welcome to your 50s, you now take supplements to help your memory, but you can’t remember if you took them today.

“I’m so grateful that so many things are none of my business.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨