Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who needs a guardian angel when you can have a demon obsessed with you? 😈💕 Just make sure they don't get possessive…literally! 😂 #RelationshipGoals"

attraction, dating, day, demon, humor, love, obsession, relationship, someone

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You live in a great city when you get pooped on by a seagull instead of a pigeon.

0

2 months ago

anecdote, city, funny observation, great, humor, life, live, nature, observation, pigeon, seagull, urban, urban life, wildlife
I always wait 3 minutes after each post for the applause to die down.

0

2 months ago

3, after, always, applause, attention, die, humor, i, minutes, post, timing, wait
When I write “I hope this email finds you well” I’m referring to the email’s skills in tracking you down.

0

2 months ago

communication, email, hope, humor, i, skills, tracking, well, well-being, witty
You know you’re really stressed when you start getting on your own nerves.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, getting, humor, know, nerf, own, relatable, self, start, stress
What doesn’t kill you will text you in 5 months to ask “What are you doing?”

0

2 months ago

ask, curiosity, doing, humor, kill, message, months, past, relationship, survival, text, time
Why waste words or gestures when a raised eyebrow is enough to make a statement?

0

2 months ago

communication, expression, eyebrow, gestures, humor, raised, raised eyebrow, simplicity, statement, waste, words

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Twitch this month:

That “never again” talk with yourself after a certain experience is always funny.

50 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s a fabulous time to be alive if you love: verification codes, verifying your email, yelling ‘REAL PERSON’ into a phone at a robot, reading nightmarish news all day, every day, hot.

73 shares on Slack this month:

Honey, get in the car. We have to go to the store because we’re retarded, and it’s Christmas Eve.

12 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Out of Office: I am on vacation. Your emails will be forwarded nowhere to be read by no one. Good day.

30 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Someone should bite my inner thighs just to see what type of noises I make. For science.

67 shares on Slack this month:

My bank account and I are no longer on speaking terms.

29 shares on Messenger this month:

Don’t be alarmed at my semicolon usage; I’m a professional.

54 shares on Instagram this month:

Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.

13 shares on TikTok this month:

My future wife is probably fake laughing at her boyfriend’s lame jokes right now. Be patient, Queen, a true clown is on the way.

70 shares on YouTube this month:

Still hard to believe that access to infinite information made us dumber.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

It’s important to remember that even parents make mistakes. In fact, it’s how many of us became parents.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

I love when people start getting filler, and instead of looking younger, it’s just like okay, your face is getting really, really big in all directions.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

In your 20s, you’ll meet a short man. It’s very important you jump over him.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

They did so well traumatizing us about teen pregnancy, I’m still traumatized as an adult.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Guys only want one thing and it’s my grandmother’s meatball recipe.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Nothing is riskier than closing your eyes again in the morning for that extra minute of sleep.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Self-checkout is amazing for introverts until the machine breaks and two employees have to come fix it while you wait.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

I used to have a great future in my past.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

The lack of a pope has got me acting wild.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

I need a horror movie where a kidnapper abducts a possessed child and finds out.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

I love my cat so much, but how the hell are you that small and take up an entire queen-size mattress?

Trending via Discord:

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I’ll be notified immediately.

Going viral on Pinterest:

This whole week could have been an email.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I eat cake because it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere.

Live now on Slack:

There’s no way the Scooby Doo gang never found a dead body.

Trending via Threads:

This too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone. But it will pass.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

None of the Instagram story fonts represent me.

Trending via Reddit:

My parents told me Santa wasn’t real when I was 16. Jokes on them, because I’m at the mall right now, and guess who’s here.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Just told my kids it’s illegal to have the light on while we’re driving. I will not break this cycle.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Alexa, take responsibility for my actions.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

One day you’ll find someone who’s obsessed with you. It’ll probably be a demon but that’s what it is.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

You live in a great city when you get pooped on by a seagull instead of a pigeon.

I always wait 3 minutes after each post for the applause to die down.

When I write “I hope this email finds you well” I’m referring to the email’s skills in tracking you down.

You know you’re really stressed when you start getting on your own nerves.

What doesn’t kill you will text you in 5 months to ask “What are you doing?”

Why waste words or gestures when a raised eyebrow is enough to make a statement?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨