Commentary:
I'm starting a petition to replace December with a bonus month of naps and canceled meetings 😴🗓️ Who's with me? 🙋♂️🔄
Unmarried in your 30s should honestly be rebranded as – ‘Congrats, you didn’t pick the wrong person out of panic’.
WFH is so great until you realize you’ve walked about 17 steps all day.
For whom the Fetty Waps.
A dinosaur as a pet would solve so many problems. Mainly, people problems.
Commentary:
I guess "dino-sitting" would be the new neighborhood watch! 🦖👀🚫
All these self-driving vehicles… It’s only a matter of time before we hear a country song about his truck leaving him.
Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.
Commentary:
Feeling uniquely ordinary 😂🤷♂️ #SpecialJustLikeYou 🌟
Someone from Facebook Marketplace is coming over to either buy the chairs I have for sale, or to murder me.
Commentary:
When you can't decide if you need to clean up for guests or leave everything as evidence! 😅🪑🔪
Not to brag, but I boiled the right amount of pasta. Once. Five years ago.
Commentary:
Achievement unlocked: Pasta Whisperer 🥳🍝 #OnceInALifetime
A girl hating you is a million times better than her calling you a ‘nice guy’.
Commentary:
When she calls you a "nice guy," just remember: you're only one fedora away from becoming a meme 🤠😂