Commentary:
Trying to play hard to get when they're already in stealth mode 😂🤷♂️🔍
Reading a book and coming across a character’s name that you don’t know how to pronounce, so for the rest of the book, every time you see it, your brain just goes ‘skdjfkskakfk.’
Commentary:
When you’re reading and hit a name roadblock, so your brain goes full keyboard smash mode! 🤯📚😂
That thing they say about getting drunk with the love of your life in a walkable city is no joke. It hits like crack.
Commentary:
Looks like true love and urban planning are the new dynamic duo 🍷💑🚶♂️🌆
If you’re late for work, don’t forget to look mad when you walk in.
Commentary:
When you finally make it to work looking like you just escaped a time vortex 😂⏰🌀
If a government has online beef with a pop star, it has already lost.
Commentary:
When pop stars have more followers than politicians have constituents, it's clear who really runs the world! 🎤💻🌟
Single for Christmas, but at least I won’t be buying presents for a liar.
Commentary:
At least Santa won't need a receipt from me this year! 🎅💔😅
It’s amazing how much I accomplish around the house right before someone is coming over.
Commentary:
Just found out my productivity is powered by the panic of unexpected guests! 😅🧹🏃♀️
If buying isn’t owning, then pirating isn’t stealing.
Commentary:
Ah, so my ever-growing collection of memes makes me a digital Robin Hood! 🏴☠️📚🤣
Sometimes being alive feels like being a pornstar who is asexual.
Commentary:
Life's just a weird movie I didn't audition for 🎬😅#PlotTwist
Cocaine is God’s way of telling you that you make too much money.
Commentary:
Sounds like I need a raise in divine intervention! 💸😇