Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

It’s so hot, ice bears are opening lemonade stands.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

I can resist everything except temptation.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

“Would you like to check your account balance?” God no. My balance is none of my business.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

I’ve started dating myself exclusively but it’s not working out.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

People who get 0-5 likes at max and still tweet all the time… What’s your secret?

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

I hope the aliens aren’t good at basketball. My chances of making it into the NBA are already slim.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

As a beautiful woman, sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is “ew.”

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

I keep myself humble by messing up all the time.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Day 12 without chocolate: Lost all hearing in my left eye.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

I don’t just hold a grudge; I love it, pet it, feed it and take it for long walks on the beach.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

3,657

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

I’m going to bed, everyone. Try to keep it down.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I’m not saying I’ve aged like fine wine, but I am currently being stored in a dark place and avoiding sunlight at all costs.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

The ‘E’ in my name stands for ‘Everything you need.’

Just shared via WhatsApp:

At this point, I’m not sure if my house is a mess or my mess is a house.

Spotted on WeChat:

Awesome that January is over, but rude that our reward for getting through it is February.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

The most avoidant man you know is somewhere telling someone he’s a lover boy.

Trending via Telegram:

There are people that make their bed every morning and people who think it’s a waste of time, and then they marry each other.

Seen just now on Twitch:

The delivery guy absolutely hates it when I call him my pizza mule.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Sometimes it’s the conversations you have with yourself that take the longest.

Going viral on Threads:

I’m nearly qualified to be a weaver. My final exam is looming.

More funny quotes 👇

Eventually, kids get old enough to see which parent was the problem.

0

1 day ago

childhood, enough, family, humor, kid, kids, old, parent, parenting, problem
It takes so much energy to go inside a Walmart.

0

1 day ago

energy, exhaustion, humor, inside, much, retail, shopping, store, Walmart
Having a dirty mind and an innocent face is truly a blessing.

1

1 day ago

blessing, contrast, dirty, dirty mind, face, having, humor, innocent, innocent face, mind, personality, truly
Too shy for influencing. Too dumb for crypto. Too honest for a scam. Too lazy for 9-5. How can I make money?

0

4 days ago

9-5, 9-5 job, 95, crypto, dumb, honesty, i, influencer, influencing, job, laziness, lazy, making, making money, money, scam, self-doubt, shy, shyness, too
People don’t hate working, they hate working and still being poor.

3

4 days ago

being, frustration, hate, humor, income, job, money, people, poor, poverty, still, work, working
No ChatGPT for me, thanks. I will be asking Liam Gallagher on Twitter.

1

4 days ago

asking, celebrity, ChatGPT, gallagher, humor, i, liam, Liam Gallagher, me, media, social, social media, thanks, Twitter
The money I made gradually, you need urgently?

1

4 days ago

finance, humor, i, money, need, patience, urgency
I’m an adult in the same way that Katy Perry is an astronaut.

0

4 days ago

adult, astronaut, celebrity, comparison, humor, identity, katy, Katy Perry, perry, same, space
How much longer do we have to keep pretending that Pilates isn’t a sex thing?

0

4 days ago

fitness, humor, joke, keep, longer, much, Pilates, pretend, pretending, sex, thing
There’s no better feeling than coming home and immediately changing into your Adam Sandler fit.

0

4 days ago

Adam, Adam Sandler, better, change, change clothes, changing, clothes, comfort, coming, feeling, fit, home, outfit, relaxation, sandler

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on WeChat this month:

She never lets ideas interrupt the easy flow of her conversation.

39 shares on Reddit this month:

What I lack in moves on the dance floor, I more than make up for in dancing around a conversation.

31 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You can’t have everything… where would you put it?”

100 shares on Reddit this month:

I enjoy long walks up and down my stairs trying to remember what I was supposed to be doing.

73 shares on Facebook this month:

Another beautiful day, ruined by responsibility.

58 shares on Threads this month:

I have a date and nothing to wear. Or as Nietzsche said: If you stare into a closet long enough, the closet stares back at you.

85 shares on Snapchat this month:

I touched grass today, and I’m still like this. Please advise.

26 shares on Reddit this month:

Time travel is all well and good, but I feel so stupid right now. None of them have the mustache. No way to tell which baby is Hitler.

66 shares on WeChat this month:

Being quiet in a room full of loud people is my favorite sport.

74 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Laxatives help you live up to your full pooptential.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

You’re acting up? Right before Santa Claus comes to town? Unbelievable.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

You used to calm me on my cell phone!

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

I like people who can admit their mistakes and apologize. In other words, I like very few people.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

I like warm weather but only to a certain degree.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

She’s got style. She’s got grace. She dropped her cellphone on her face. She’s a lady.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

When my friends are religious, I pretend not to notice.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Zoom is really only for one thing: realizing our dream of staring at ourselves while talking to other people.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Caveman bartender: “This one’s on the cave.”

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

That’s me in the corner eating Nutella with a spoon.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Nostalgia isn’t as good as it used to be.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

Nothing like waking up on a Friday and finding out it’s Tuesday.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Coke Zero sounds like a government pledge to eliminate fizzy drinks by 2030.

Just shared via Messenger:

Keep your friends close, but your smartphone closer.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

What’s a beginner question to ask for someone just getting into being nosy?

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I wonder if babies know that we are more terrified of them than they are of us.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

The feminine urge to be the most feared witch in the village.

Live now on YouTube:

Friendly reminder that double negatives are a big no-no.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had garlic bread?

Just shared via Twitch:

Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Work from home is all fun and games until you lose grip on reality.

Activity Log ✨

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨