Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Just realized when I get a partner, that means my family is gonna know that I have feelings.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Kind of rude you didn’t wake me up before you went went.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Some days you just feel like a hotel microwave. You’re here, but you don’t have enough power to actually do anything.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

My bank account and I are no longer on speaking terms.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Sundays are weird. You want to relax, but your brain’s like, “Shouldn’t you be panicking about something?”

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Y’all scared to be single, I’m scared to be in another pointless relationship.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

The hard part about dating is finding someone who’s mentally ill enough to understand you, but not mentally ill enough to ruin your life.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

You’d think someone in the room would’ve spoken up like “hey guys, maybe it’s a bad idea to make one ring to rule them all”.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

I think if you ask Kanye for a million at the right time, he’ll give it to you.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

My mayor is Muslim, my bagels are Jewish, my Dior is Christian.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

4,048

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Facebook:

When people say they’re speechless, I always hope they mean it, but they never stop talking.

Trending via TikTok:

“I don’t do politics.” Politics will do you, my brother and sister. Politics will do you like mad.

Spotted on Facebook:

I’m at the age where an uncomfortable bed will have me injured for a couple of days.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Tuesday is just another Monday, but reheated.

Just landed via Facebook:

In a parallel universe, there’s a happy me.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Solitude never hits you with unsolicited opinions.

Freshly posted on Threads:

One time, when I was a kid, I fell off my bike and hit my head so hard, I was briefly able to communicate with bees.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I hate Valentine’s Day but I do enjoy infant archery.

Trending via Pinterest:

Behold the majestic elephant in its natural habitat, the room.

Trending via YouTube:

Really miss the drama of being able to angrily shut a flip phone.

More funny quotes 👇

This December is not Decembering like the other Decembers Decembered.

0

5 days ago

December, holiday, humor, month, repetition, seasonal, time, wordplay
Can’t wait for this AI bubble to pop so we can all go back to normal, just like how the internet completely disappeared after the dot-com bubble popped.

0

5 days ago

after, AI, AI bubble, back, bubble, disappeared, dot-com, dot-com bubble, humor, internet, joke, just, normal, pop, sarcasm, technology, wait
Duolingo does everything except actually teach you the language.

0

5 days ago

actually, app, Duolingo, education, everything, except, humor, language, language app, language learning, learning, teach
Software engineers are the dumbest smart people I’ve ever met.

0

5 days ago

dumb, dumbest, engineer, ever, humor, intelligence, met, paradox, people, smart, software, software engineer
Calling women “bro” to make sure they know they’re in the deepest trenches of the friend zone.

0

5 days ago

bro, calling, friend, friend zone, humor, know, relationship, slang, sure, trench, women, zone
Some of you need to be visited by the ghost of ‘Quit emailing me so much before Christmas.’

0

5 days ago

annoyance, before, Christmas, communication, email, ghost, holiday, humor, me, much, need, quit
Apparently, the job interviewer doesn’t like it when your biggest weakness is beautiful Latinas.

0

5 days ago

apparently, beautiful, beautiful Latina, dating, dating problem, humor, interview, interviewer, job, job interview, latina, problem, weakness
I don’t always clear my calculator… but when I do, I hit both ‘C’ and ‘CE’ a bunch of times because I don’t know exactly what they do.

0

5 days ago

always, both, button, C, calculator, CE, clear, confusion, exactly, hit, humor, i, know, math, mistake, technology, times
The older I get, the more I hate making extra stops after work. I drive home like I’m late for the house.

0

5 days ago

after, aging, commute, drive, driving, extra, hate, home, house, hurry, i, late, making, older, stop, work
The more I practice, the luckier I get.

0

5 days ago

effort, humor, i, improvement, luck, motivation, practice, skill, success

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on Pinterest this month:

My parents think they know me.

90 shares on YouTube this month:

Tensing up so the masseuse doesn’t win.

46 shares on WeChat this month:

Emotions? No thanks. I’m trying to cut down.

10 shares on Slack this month:

Imagine being a dinosaur. No work or bills. No drama. Just extinct.

16 shares on TikTok this month:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had a can opener that actually works?

29 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean accountable.

86 shares on Slack this month:

Hear me out, a Q-Tip that doesn’t bounce out the trash can when you throw it away.

95 shares on X this month:

I wish tree puns were more poplar.

85 shares on YouTube this month:

Family Guy is so insane because, why were people dating that dog?

68 shares on Facebook this month:

Can the AI bubble just pop already? Everyone hates this crap.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Getting older is so fun. Your life goals slowly transition from things like ‘land a dream job’ to ‘successfully grow a cherry tomato.’

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Maybe in another life, I’m a spoiled nepo baby — jobless and doing nothing but shopping all day with my equally nepotised friends.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

I love traveling because I love to check if I have my passport every 3-4 minutes.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

I thought being an adult meant cake for breakfast, not budgeting for therapy.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

A weighted blanket isn’t enough today, I need to be compressed into a zip-file.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

My favorite part about talking to my teens is when they give me direct eye contact, listen intently, nod understandingly and then do the exact opposite of what I just said.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

According to the web, caffeine deficiency is a life threatening condition for people around you.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Walking into someone’s house with healthy, thriving houseplants everywhere: “Oh, I see you dabble in witchcraft!”

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

The season is back when women are 80% scarf.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

I always wait 3 minutes after each post for the applause to die down.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

Either the tables are going to turn, or I’m going to flip them.

Just landed via YouTube:

The horror of being warned that the person you’re about to meet is “fine once you get to know them”.

Spotted on Slack:

I never had a year with this much thinking. I’ve been thinking since the 1st.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Calling ahead to the cafe to warn them to “get those beans brewing”.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Whoever coined, “No good deed goes unpunished”, must have fed some seagulls.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I should’ve existed as a tree.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Nosferatu 2024, Frankenstein 2025, and Werwulf 2026. I was born at exactly the right time.

Going viral on X:

Every morning I wake up and make the worst possible time management decisions anyone has ever made.

Spotted on X:

If it weren’t for this whole job thingy that pays me money, I’d become a professional nap taker.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

My sleeping pattern isn’t even a pattern anymore. It’s a lifestyle.

Activity Log ✨

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨