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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m rearranging the kitchen which is devastating for my husband because now suddenly he remembers where everything used to be.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Unknown numbers will call me, then expect me to talk first. Welcome to the breathing competition.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

I generally don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but I’m really good at it.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Parents be like “don’t believe everything you see on the internet” then believe everything they see on Facebook.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Tried counting sheep, but now I’m emotionally invested in their backstories and I think one might need therapy.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please make it study.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Someday I will make a sandwich that will change my life forever.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Why do boys never buy the Pro Max iPhones? I swear it’s only girls with big phones.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here making love.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Some people post such depressing love shit that I start to miss their exes myself!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,735

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

Occupation: the ugly friend!

Breaking via Pinterest:

The name Ella is short for Mozzarella.

Seen just now on X:

Sometimes I don’t worry about things at all and other times I am awake.

Breaking via Reddit:

Welcome to middle age: your chin looks lonely; here’s another one.

Just shared via Discord:

Tonight, my poor liver has to pay again for what went wrong during the week.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Setting up a camera to go and pretend you just woke up from bed is another level of mental illness.

Going bananas on YouTube:

I’m not just a pretty face, I’m also a massive disappointment to my family.

Shared recently on Threads:

I feel like my greatest accomplishment today has been not saying what I’m thinking out loud.

Shared recently on X:

Girlhood is sitting down in a boiling hot shower instead of dealing with life.

Shared recently on Slack:

Your eyes water when you yawn because you miss your bed and it makes you sad.

Reading Shakespeare for the first time is crazy because you go, “Oh, that’s where that comes from,” every other page.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Wow, reading Shakespeare feels like unlocking the "Where'd That Phrase Come From?" achievement on every page! 😄📜✨

crazy, discovery, every, first time, humor, literature, oh, origin, page, quote origin, reading, Shakespeare, time, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Be bold, be italic, but never regular.

3 months ago

bold, confidence, creativity, design, humor, italic, never, regular, typography
I get at least 1,000 steps in waiting for my food to be done in the microwave.

2 months ago

done, exercise, food, humor, i, least, microwave, step, steps, waiting
The only recipes they have online are where I’m the one who’s supposed to buy all this stuff and then make it. That’s not what I’m looking for.

2 months ago

buy, cooking, expectations, food, frustration, humor, looking, online, recipe, simplicity, stuff, where
Is it fall yet? I really can’t suck my stomach in much longer.

2 months ago

diet, fall, humor, i, seasons, self-image, stomach, struggle, suck
When I die and y’all go through my search history, you’ll be disappointed to find mostly just definitions for very common words that I wasn’t sure I was using correctly.

1 month ago

common, death, definition, die, disappointed, disappointment, history, humor, i, just, language, misunderstanding, search, search history, sure, through, using, word, words
Hardest part of beekeeping is thinking of all the names.

2 months ago

activity, beekeeping, creativity, fun, fun activity, hardest, hardest part, humor, names, thinking

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on TikTok this month:

Men make money to be with a woman, but women make money to not have to be with a man. Clock it!

64 shares on Slack this month:

I wonder if my bank account thinks about me and has panic attacks.

37 shares on Messenger this month:

I love when the restaurant bathroom has different music playing than the restaurant. It’s like I’m going to Club Pee Pee.

24 shares on Snapchat this month:

I used to have a great future in my past.

100 shares on LinkedIn this month:

A new year resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

86 shares on YouTube this month:

Your brain automatically translates WTF but not LOL.

14 shares on Discord this month:

Whoever said it was okay to let your pets sleep in your bed, thanks a lot, now my goldfish is dead.

43 shares on Twitch this month:

When I was a kid, there were two ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

48 shares on X this month:

I’m neither a lover nor a fighter. I’m a snacker.

83 shares on Slack this month:

Congrats to my tween for graduating at the top of his class from eye roll university.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Bad news. Right now is as young as you’re going to be.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Maybe hot chocolate wants to be called beautiful chocolate at least one time.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

I wish the homes of all my friends were connected to mine by secret underground tunnels.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Spending money on disappointing food is a different type of pain.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Marry someone the same size as you to avoid decades of annoyance adjusting the seats and mirrors in the car.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

I’m a social media influencer in that I’ve influenced people to ignore me on social media.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Don’t fall in love. It’s bad.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

I get all the cardio I need by running out of patience.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Easy there, unsaved number.

Spotted on Threads:

This pillow isn’t going to scream into itself.

Just landed via TikTok:

Can’t say “I’m tired” without my mom making it a competition of who is the most tired and who has more reason to be.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Body: Time to sleep. Brain: Hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

Making waves on WeChat:

If you think one of my posts is about you, it isn’t. Except this one.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

It’s time I admit something: Sometimes, when I say good night, I don’t actually go to bed right away.

Making waves on YouTube:

Aliens traveled millions of light years to get here to visit New Jersey.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

When you’re dead, you don’t know that you’re dead. But it’s hard for those around you. It’s the same when you’re stupid.

Spotted on X:

I had a dream about you. You were stupid there, too.

Just landed via Facebook:

Sorry I’m late. I was in the car waiting for my song to end.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Reading Shakespeare for the first time is crazy because you go, “Oh, that’s where that comes from,” every other page.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Be bold, be italic, but never regular.

I get at least 1,000 steps in waiting for my food to be done in the microwave.

The only recipes they have online are where I’m the one who’s supposed to buy all this stuff and then make it. That’s not what I’m looking for.

Is it fall yet? I really can’t suck my stomach in much longer.

When I die and y’all go through my search history, you’ll be disappointed to find mostly just definitions for very common words that I wasn’t sure I was using correctly.

Hardest part of beekeeping is thinking of all the names.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨