Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

My favorite thing to do on the weekend is not leave my house.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Only difference between me and someone in a psych ward is I’m outside.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

I don’t always cook dinner but when I do, I use every pan in the kitchen.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Avocado is just green butter.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Tom and Jerry fooled me into thinking dogs bullied cats when it’s the opposite in reality.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

I think during winter we should also get to work less hours in a day, just like the sun.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Instead of calling it the John I’m going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Gravity, at all times, is trying to pull your pants down.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

It was the becestershire of times, it was the worcestershire of times.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Being famous on social media is like being rich in Monopoly. It’s not real, so calm down.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,732

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

Sometimes, when I need a really good night’s sleep, I call my burrito guy to come over and tuck me in.

Shared recently on Twitch:

These days, I only use Facebook as a birthday calendar.

Shared recently on Threads:

You know it’s bad when even a cheeseburger doesn’t help.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

If men didn’t exist, I would simply go for a 2 a.m. walk every night and listen to music in my AirPods.

Seen just now on X:

Finally it’s Friday and I can go out. I’m putting the garbage out and I’ll be right back.

Going bananas on WeChat:

When people block me, I just assume it’s for my rugged good looks and killer jawline.

Trending via Telegram:

Every room is a panic room if someone farts.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I accidentally take a screenshot of my phone background at least once a week.

Live now on X:

Bought a house plant so I wouldn’t be the only one dying of dehydration around here.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

“What’s your ETA?” do you ask the birds in the sky when they will arrive.

Reading Shakespeare for the first time is crazy because you go, “Oh, that’s where that comes from,” every other page.

2 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about discovering Shakespeare’s influence, playful and humorous in tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Wow, reading Shakespeare feels like unlocking the "Where'd That Phrase Come From?" achievement on every page! 😄📜✨

crazy, discovery, every, first time, humor, literature, oh, origin, page, quote origin, reading, Shakespeare, time, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sometimes it’s not a secret, it’s just none of your business.

43 shares on TikTok this month:

Roses are red. Daisies are white. I’m in a grumpy mood. My underwear is too tight.

20 shares on Reddit this month:

To be clear, when I said I was looking for “growth,” I meant in salary, not in workload and stress levels.

97 shares on LinkedIn this month:

They say money can’t buy happiness, but could someone just give me a lot of it and let me see for myself?

16 shares on WeChat this month:

Answering your cell when you don’t recognize the number is like picking up a hitchhiker.

45 shares on WeChat this month:

Sometimes I’m grateful that thoughts don’t appear as bubbles over our heads.

100 shares on Instagram this month:

Any place is a walkable city if you’re broke enough.

87 shares on Reddit this month:

The amount of family secrets you uncover as you get older is wild.

97 shares on WeChat this month:

If a man says “I don’t deserve you,” believe him. Because he is about to show you why.

25 shares on X this month:

As highly as it’s esteemed, the Mayo Clinic still sounds like the place sick sandwiches go to get better.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Adults should not be twins. Being twins is for children.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

I’m at the age where using the wrong pillow makes you feel like you broke your neck.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

As someone with OCD, I can’t help but respect how Pringles are just like, no, this is the order you must eat them in.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Well, that’s not very in love with me of you.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

I’ve been having a rough day for about 5 years now.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Lady on the streets, Cheeto crumbs in my sheets.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

The funniest thing about 28 Years Later is that the rest of the world just went “Uhm, anyway!” and carried on as normal, while the Brits live in hell.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

One year of friendship, and I’ve not seen your breasts? Are we really friends?

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

I’ve officially reached the age where I don’t want to do anything after 9pm.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Discord is only good for calling friends on the computer. Please do not waste your time getting caught up in random servers.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

Stop blaming everyone for all your problems. Pick one person you hate and blame them for everything.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Third wheeling with two girls who are best friends is so much worse than third wheeling a couple.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I hate when you leave your phone on the side, and it brings up that red evil clock.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Our dog snores so loud, we had to rename him Grandpa.

Seen just now on Slack:

UNO is based on luck unless I win, then it’s based on strategy, and I’m a genius.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

People are too judgmental these days… I can tell just by looking at them.

Shared recently on Threads:

I remember when I was broke… I’m still broke, that’s why I remember so well.

Shared recently on Telegram:

The bad news is there was a lot of turbulence on my flight this morning. The good news is my phone counted it as steps.

Making waves on Snapchat:

My wife rearranged the kitchen cabinets, and now I’ll never eat again.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I had a dream about you. You were stupid there, too.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Reading Shakespeare for the first time is crazy because you go, “Oh, that’s where that comes from,” every other page.

Telling my boss I can’t come back to work because I’ve discovered the joy of doing nothing.

Why do they have to make things childproof when I’m still functioning at a kindergarten level of dexterity?

I won’t be doing Dry January, because who was there for me during the happy times and the hard times? Not broccoli.

I’m professionally employed and personally unhinged. Balance.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Reading Shakespeare for the first time is crazy because you go, “Oh, that’s where that comes from,” every other page.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Telling my boss I can’t come back to work because I’ve discovered the joy of doing nothing.

Why do they have to make things childproof when I’m still functioning at a kindergarten level of dexterity?

I won’t be doing Dry January, because who was there for me during the happy times and the hard times? Not broccoli.

Resting bitch face saves me from so many conversations I don’t want to be part of.

Everyone has that one friend they’ve known for years and still have no idea what they actually do for a living, but it’s too late to ask.

I’m professionally employed and personally unhinged. Balance.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨