Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

I will play my favorite song until the artist comes out of my phone to ask for water.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Beer is like the color black: it goes with everything.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

I am such a fun person and so easy to get along with as long as the layout I have secretly imagined for the entire day goes exactly as I planned it without variation or interruption.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

I made soup while whispering “He was never mine,” like it’s 1893, and I just lost my beloved to a duel.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Porn actresses envy the look on my face when I clean my ear with a cotton bud.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

A haunted house, but it’s just a room full of people asking you to tell them a fun fact about yourself.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

The world was better off when street gangs settled things with choreographed dance battles.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Rap fell off when literacy stopped being a requirement.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Fun prank: make people study for many years, and then don’t give them jobs.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

I wonder how long you could drive in a roundabout before a cop would be like, hey, you can’t do that anymore.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

296 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,565

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,565

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,577

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Discord:

Life stopped being real after 2019 anyways.

Seen just now on Instagram:

They should invent a good thing that happens.

Just shared via Slack:

Sisters are so important. How else would my mom find out all the stuff I didn’t want her to know.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Sometimes you send an email that requires a response, and the other person writes back right away, and it’s like NO NOT YET.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Relationship goal: synchronizing our eye rolls.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Before Google, if you didn’t know something you had to go ask someone and most of the time they couldn’t help you, and now that’s also how Google works.

Trending via Reddit:

After having a week off, my boss returns to work today. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

Shared recently on Instagram:

He who laughs last didn’t get it.

Trending via Discord:

“I’m at that stage of Christmas shopping where I start buying myself presents.”

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Friendly reminder that someone having a different opinion about a movie than you is a direct attack on you as a person and you should take it very personally.

Returning to Twitter is like coming back to a dysfunctional family.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess I better bring my own snacks and patience! 🍿🤪💻 #FamilyDrama

back, coming, comparison, dysfunctional, dysfunctional family, family, humor, media, return, returning, social, social media, Twitter

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You’ll never realize how crazy you really are until you fall in love.

2 months ago

crazy, emotion, fall, humor, humor in love, love, never, realization, realize, relationships, self-awareness
If insomnia were a sport, I’d have endorsement deals.

2 months ago

deals, endorsement, humor, ID, insomnia, joke, sleep, sport
They should invent a grocery store that’s just for me and no one else.

5 days ago

else, grocery, grocery store, humor, invent, invention, just, me, personal, personal space, shopping, should, solitude, space, store
The best thing about living with my parents is being woken up four minutes before my alarm to be told my alarm is about to go off.

2 months ago

alarm, annoyance, best, daily, daily routine, family, humor, living, living situation, parent, parents, routine, situation, sleep, thing, waking, waking up
Hey, sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come.

2 months ago

attendance, event, excuse, humor, i, late, party, reluctance, social, social event, sorry, want
Sure, my internet service is overpriced and spotty but you can’t put a price on unintentionally being dropped from every Zoom meeting.

2 months ago

being, connectivity, dropped, every, frustration, humor, internet, meeting, overpriced, price, put, service, sure, technology, Zoom

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Has anyone ever considered that Dr. Pepper could be a gynecologist?

73 shares on WhatsApp this month:

What song lyric resonates with you the most? Mine is “we’re tiny, we’re toony, we’re all a little loony”

44 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When the Olympics finally introduces the event “Dropping your phone and very nearly catching it but not quite” then you’ll all see me shine.

68 shares on YouTube this month:

I hate when someone you love says mean things like, “It’s time to wake up.”

76 shares on X this month:

I love asking 5 different people for advice then doing what I want.

37 shares on Snapchat this month:

You tell people you’re not trying to drink and they act like you just turned down 100k.

98 shares on TikTok this month:

Sometimes I read a text and think, “What a psycho.” And then I press send.

94 shares on Telegram this month:

I woke up alive again.

100 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Love is like a bird. Sometimes flying around me but then moving on.

78 shares on WeChat this month:

“Damn, you’re tight!” I whisper as I look at my monthly budget.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Starting a new life today, bye.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Once you find humor in any situation, you have nothing to fear.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

You never forget your first kiss. Or your first meeting with HR.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Sorry I can’t come today. My sister’s friend’s mother’s grandpa’s brother’s grandson’s uncle’s fish died, and it was tragic.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

My favorite part about talking to my teens is when they give me direct eye contact, listen intently, nod understandingly and then do the exact opposite of what I just said.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

All soups are gazpacho if you’re lazy enough.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

I hate it when I go to hug someone sexy and hit my head on the mirror.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

I have a lot to offer! Most of it’s bad, but it’s still a lot.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Ants can be found on every continent except Antarctica, which is weird considering their name.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Self-awareness is such a two-edged sword. Like, yay, I know myself better, but at what cost?

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

If you see me online, I’m not chatting. I’m busy ignoring the world and laughing at memes like it’s therapy.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Tai Chi is so crazy because it’s like throwing a slow motion tantrum.

Seen just now on Discord:

To me, essential oils are what drips out of tacos.

Just shared via Discord:

I wanna be crazy rich. I’m already crazy, so I’m half way there.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Whoever invented the gender reveal party needs to be launched into the sun.

Just landed via Facebook:

Pinterest recipe so long that it’s now a limited series on Netflix.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

January: the Monday of months.

Shared recently on Threads:

I just need a little time to warm up to you, and then I’ll be super fun, I promise—1-2 years at most.

Live now on WeChat:

You come from dust and you will return to dust. That’s why I don’t dust. It could be someone I know.

Going bananas on WeChat:

My wife asked me why the bottle of wine we bought yesterday was half empty. I said because she is a pessimist.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Returning to Twitter is like coming back to a dysfunctional family.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

You’ll never realize how crazy you really are until you fall in love.

If insomnia were a sport, I’d have endorsement deals.

They should invent a grocery store that’s just for me and no one else.

The best thing about living with my parents is being woken up four minutes before my alarm to be told my alarm is about to go off.

Hey, sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come.

Sure, my internet service is overpriced and spotty but you can’t put a price on unintentionally being dropped from every Zoom meeting.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨