Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Thank you for the opportunity but I don’t think being human is a good fit for me. I’m going to go back to school to become an octopus.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Can’t. Typing a password into a TV.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

When someone says “I don’t want a relationship right now” the “at least not with you” is silent.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Girlfriend is temporary, ex-girlfriend is forever.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

I’m homeless. Minus the ‘m’.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

If pigeons and chickens made a tribe, would they be called the coo clucks clan?

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Your suitcase just texted. It’s getting bored.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Before marrying someone, listen long and hard to the sounds of their chewing, because that’s the soundtrack to the rest of your life.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

You should always wash your sheets once a week in case they are really ghosts and need a shower.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,340

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

Being an adult feels like, “If I can just get through this week, I’ll be okay,” but it’s every damn week.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

People who read and research will always sound crazy to people who don’t.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

My day starts backwards, I wake up tired and I go to bed wide awake.

Shared recently on Telegram:

When someone asks why you don’t have kids just say “dingoes”.

Seen just now on Twitch:

If a door closes, you can just open it again. That is a door. Doors work like this.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Men have nice skin because they stress out everyone but themselves.

Spotted on Reddit:

People delete their social media and start acting like they got a master’s degree in maturity.

Going viral on Messenger:

Driving between speed cameras is called intermittent fasting.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Remember when we used to jump out of the swings? Those knees were fresh, fresh out the box.

Spotted on YouTube:

I love when I can smell my perfume on myself, like damn girl, you smell delicious.

Seriously, how sexy was Freud’s mom?

Humorous text pondering Freud's mother's attractiveness with playful curiosity.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Freud's mom must have had those 'Oedipal' vibes going on 😏 Talk about the original 'Mommy Issues'! 🤣👩‍👦 #FreudianFantasies"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

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Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on Discord this month:

No one told me adulthood would require this much multi-factor authentication.

23 shares on Slack this month:

It’s weird when you realize that what you thought was rock bottom was actually somewhere around rock middle.

96 shares on Reddit this month:

Twitter is the most fun you can have on the toilet.

37 shares on Reddit this month:

I just need a day between everyday… to recover from the day before… just so I can prepare for the day coming.

30 shares on Reddit this month:

Buying a new phone isn’t even satisfying anymore. It’s literally just your old phone with a haircut.

66 shares on Snapchat this month:

I love spending my parents’ money, they must pay for bringing me into this world.

86 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t know the difference between “gray” & “grey” and I’m too scared to even ask.

36 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’ve left my past behind me, so if I owe you money, sorry, I’ve left it behind me.

48 shares on YouTube this month:

I was actually a little too thankful yesterday so today I’m going to even it out with some ungratefulness and entitlement.

38 shares on Snapchat this month:

It’s called the Summer Olympics so one of the events should be running in flip flops to catch the ice cream man.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Went outside. Touched grass. Got bit by bugs. Zero stars.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

You should be allowed to miss work if you’re not feeling sexy.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel like I’m in jail when I’m around unfunny people for too long.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever created / mandated the auto start-stop feature on cars should be dragged into the town square to be tarred and feathered!

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Death by a thousand stupid questions.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes when I’m having a particularly stressful day, I take a pregnancy test to remind myself that at least one thing in my life is still going as planned.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know when people started calling hot dogs ‘glizzys,’ but I hate it, and you all need to stop immediately.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m like a candle: I’m cute, I smell nice, and there’s a pretty good chance I’ll set your curtains on fire if left unattended.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite part about talking to my teens is when they give me direct eye contact, listen intently, nod understandingly and then do the exact opposite of what I just said.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Hopefully it won’t be as bad as it already is.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,382

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

It was so hot today, I thought I was going to be cremated.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

I feel so bad when I overtake an old person on the sidewalk. Like, man, I really didn’t mean to flex on you with my youthful stride.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Me, on New Year’s Eve: I think instead of kissing at midnight, I’m just going to go outside and scream.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

As a man, it’s my job to mistake kindness for flirting.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

People who scream sneeze need their own island.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Welcome to Elephant in the Room club, no one talks about it.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

The older I get, the more I appreciate people who pretend not to notice me when they see me out in public.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

People are too judgmental these days… I can tell just by looking at them.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

You don’t use a semicolons correctly; you use a semicolon confidently.

Just landed via X:

Careful, “friend”. One more word about Shakira and you might find out just how fast I can draw this blade.

Just landed via Facebook:

You don’t have to be crazy to be friends with me. I also train people.

Breaking via Threads:

It’s normal that my retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding buried treasure at some point, right?

Trending via Snapchat:

With certain people, you get nauseous just hearing their name.

Going viral on Facebook:

Pronouncing hyperbole like guacamole.

Seen just now on Messenger:

“Do something with your life.” Um, I am. Have you heard of a little thing called squandering?

Just landed via Telegram:

I don’t want to “act young”. I just can’t be as “grown up” as others my age.

Freshly posted on X:

Can I come over and look at your Hot Wheels collection?

Just landed via Discord:

The problem with hiding snacks from my kid is that when I forget, they end up being hidden from me too.

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