Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Nothing gets my heart pumping like receiving an annoying newsletter.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Bartenders be like “here’s that receipt, I’ll go ahead and put it on the wettest part of the bar”.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

So rude to come up with solutions to my excuses.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

I think it’s time I find myself a new inspiration, asking myself “what would Batman do?” gets me in too much trouble.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

My brain is 80% song lyrics.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

I’m a big believer in not going to work on your birthday!

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to run my brain through the dishwasher.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Betrayal is when you’re holding a baby, and they put their arms out for someone else.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

The worst part about waking up is all the remembering.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, then you love a boomerang.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,411

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Threads:

A frittata is just an omelette for people too lazy to flip things.

Just landed via Threads:

Twitter is basically introverts gone wild.

Just shared via TikTok:

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Just shared via Threads:

I pretend I don’t care about stuff, but that’s only because I have no idea what’s going on around me at any given time.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Nudes are outdated. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

The only thing I worry about when I’m in the restroom is if people are washing their hands or not.

Just landed via Instagram:

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead.

Breaking via Threads:

Life tip: if nothing goes right, go to sleep.

Freshly posted on Discord:

So annoying when your family knocks on the toilet door and asks what you’re doing. I’m baking a cake. HBU?

Making waves on YouTube:

Did you know on the Canary Islands there is not one canary? And on the Virgin Isles? Same thing – not one canary there either!

The fact that someone looked straight at a purple onion and named it red onion really bothers me.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Maybe they were colorblind and needed a little guidance from the veggies! 🧅🤷‍♂️🌈

color, fact, food, humor, me, naming, observation, onion, purple, purple onion, red, red onion, someone, straight

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The older I get, the more I understand why Grumpy Old Men exist.

0

2 months ago

age-related, aging, comedy, exist, grumpy, humor, i, men, old, old men, older, understand, understanding, why
You’ve never burned music to a CD, and it shows.

0

6 months ago

burning, cd, humor, media, music, never, nostalgia, outdated, outdated technology, shows, technology
Are you ever so happy to be in bed, you wish you could be even more in bed than you already are?

0

3 months ago

bed, comfort, cozy, even, ever, funny question, happiness, happy, question, relaxation, sleep, wish
Is ice cream for dinner a thing, because ice cream for dinner should be be a thing.

0

2 months ago

craving, cream, dessert, dinner, food, humor, ice, ice cream, idea, indulgence, meal, meal idea, should, thing
Telling her parents you creampie her daily is socially unacceptable. But telling them you’re trying for a baby is a cause for celebration.

0

2 days ago

baby, cause, celebration, communication, creampie, daily, humor, norm, parents, social, social norm, socially, telling, trying, unacceptable
Car insurance should give you back money at the end of the year for having no accidents.

0

3 weeks ago

accident, accidents, back, car, car insurance, end, give, having, insurance, insurance policy, money, policy, refund, reward, safety, safety reward, should, year

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Please do not ask a bookworm if they are going to finish the books they have before buying more. It is very offensive in our culture.

71 shares on Discord this month:

Much like lasagna, I’m just held together by cheese at this point.

47 shares on Instagram this month:

Those 8 hours at work go by quickly when you call off.

98 shares on Discord this month:

My AI-generated girlfriend is hotter than your real girlfriend.

78 shares on Messenger this month:

I drive home so quick after work like I’m late for the house.

12 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you see me in public, it’s AI.

50 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Some people peak in high school. I peaked when I realized I never had to see them again.

37 shares on Telegram this month:

True romantics have made peace with the possibility of lifelong solitude.

97 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Nice thing about dating a doctor is if you wanna stop seeing them, you can just eat an apple.

15 shares on TikTok this month:

“You’re so understanding,” yeah, because I don’t want to go to prison for the rest of my life.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

I tried counting sheep so I can fall asleep but that got boring, so I started talking to the shepherd instead.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Can I sell my feelings on ebay, I don’t want them anymore.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Good morning, especially if they tried to make you go to rehab and you said “no, no, no.”

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be using humor to hide pain.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

In marriage, whoever has the cooler last name gets to continue their legacy. Reject tradition.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Establish dominance by dropping your panties first.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Can we start the weekend again? I wasn’t ready.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

I love 12 a.m. to 5 a.m. The world is so quiet.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

I’m developing a new fragrance for introverts. It’s called: “Leave me the fuh cologne”.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

I’m the product of too much television and zero supervision.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Discord:

Love triangle? You mean this Dorito?

Making waves on Facebook:

Sorry I’m late, I got here as soon as I wanted to.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Dads hate stopping on road trips because then all of the vehicles they worked hard to pass for the last hour get back ahead of them.

Live now on Instagram:

AI is that friend who is always there for you but gives terrible advice.

Trending via Reddit:

Sorry I’m late. The door said PULL, but I don’t believe everything I read.

Going viral on YouTube:

“Do you have any hobbies?” Lately, I’ve been really into panicking.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Just spoke to my wife while the internet was down. She seems nice. She’s a nurse apparently.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I’m addicted to placebos.

Making waves on Pinterest:

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you start eating chips.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Going to a concert with a tomato in each hand just to make the band nervous.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The fact that someone looked straight at a purple onion and named it red onion really bothers me.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The older I get, the more I understand why Grumpy Old Men exist.

You’ve never burned music to a CD, and it shows.

Are you ever so happy to be in bed, you wish you could be even more in bed than you already are?

Is ice cream for dinner a thing, because ice cream for dinner should be be a thing.

Telling her parents you creampie her daily is socially unacceptable. But telling them you’re trying for a baby is a cause for celebration.

Car insurance should give you back money at the end of the year for having no accidents.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨