Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Asking my landlord if he has any Cyber Monday deals.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Just waiting for my laundry to be done so I can pop it in the dryer and forget about it again.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

The first step is admitting that the other person is the one with the problem.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

If politicians can text my cell phone asking for money, I should be able to text them directly with policy suggestions.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

If my toddler doesn’t sleep again tonight, I’m running away into the forest.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

One year closer to whatever age my obituary will say.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Somehow I picked the worst possible decade to try to have a career.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Deleted old Tweets just in case I date a very famous woman with rabid fans.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

She was rare. Like a parking spot in the front row on a rainy day.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

I’m a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off multiple things at once.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,795

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

We don’t get a song of the summer this year because we were bad.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Having a job is crazy. When you’re at home, you feel lonely and want to go to work. When you’re at work, you’re exhausted and just want to go home.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Can we normalize arguing with little kids? They’re so rude.

Making waves on Messenger:

Congrats to my tween for graduating at the top of his class from eye roll university.

Just landed via Discord:

The only time anyone should watch the news is to study how psychological manipulation works on the general public.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I’m so desperate for a vacation that at this point I’d spend an all inclusive week at Jurassic Park.

Spotted on Slack:

I hate lying to my parents but it’s for their own good.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

We literally used to write an essay by hand.

Breaking via Slack:

A frittata is just an omelette for people too lazy to flip things.

Things went well until the evil supermarket people hid my favorite products in new places.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When a grocery trip turns into hide and seek! 🛒🔍😅

change, evil, favorite, favorite product, frustration, hiding, humor, new, people, places, product, products, shopping, supermarket, things, well

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Every time I have to repeat myself, a new curse word gets added into the sentence.

0

2 months ago

comedy, communication, curse, curse word, every, frustration, humor, i, myself, new, repeat, sentence, time, word
Well, maybe grass should touch me for once. How about that?

0

2 months ago

grass, humor, maybe, me, nature, once, personification, sarcasm, should, touch, well, whimsy
I’m really good at compromising as long as I get my way.

0

2 months ago

compromising, good, humor, relationship, self-interest
I don’t flirt. I just say weird things and hope you interpret them romantically.

0

2 months ago

awkwardness, communication, dating, flirt, hope, humor, i, just, romance, say, thing, things, weird, weird thing
I refuse to go to a blood bank. I’m not taking your blood money.

0

2 months ago

bank, blood, humor, i, joke, money, pun, refusal, refuse
Thinking of you while I’m chopping onions.

0

5 months ago

chopping, cooking, crying, emotion, food, food preparation, humor, onion, onions, preparation, thinking, while

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on Twitch this month:

Talents: eating!

55 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I want a man who doesn’t annoy me while I’m constantly getting on his nerves. It can’t be that difficult.

44 shares on Reddit this month:

Asking my dentist a question, but sticking my fingers in his mouth before he replies.

45 shares on Messenger this month:

If you’re in first class on a flight, sometimes they upgrade you to captain.

70 shares on Threads this month:

If I was an elephant, you’d all be sorry.

80 shares on Facebook this month:

Oh, that’s nothing a sudden burst of completely disproportionate rage won’t solve.

95 shares on TikTok this month:

Welcome to middle age: your chin looks lonely; here’s another one.

58 shares on Reddit this month:

The most unrealistic part of Christmas movies isn’t the existence of Santa… it’s that all these people have, like, a month off work with no interruptions.

51 shares on TikTok this month:

The more you embrace your crazy side, the more fun life becomes.

80 shares on Twitch this month:

We are all just prisoners here of our phone device.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Some say the world will end in fire. Others say in ice. Coming up next, our expert panel breaks down the arguments for each side…

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Christmas bonus so small you have to call your bank and ask “is it in yet?”

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

I should’ve been a crow. They get to fly around looking goth as hell and seeking retribution. Instead, I have to go to an office and work on my ‘people skills.’

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

“What do you do for a living?” I do my best.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Ironically, the Internet was invented to save time.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Technically I’m still young, but according to my back pain I’m actually 69.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Watching “Dirty Dancing” as a teenager: Damn right, no one puts Baby in a corner. Watching “Dirty Dancing” as an adult: This girl is a brat and needs a lesson.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Handing the bus driver a $50 bill and telling him “Just drive”.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Doing nothing is hard. You never know when you are done.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Stop blaming others for your mistakes. Study Feng Shui and blame the furniture.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

Death cannot harm me more than you have harmed me, my beloved life.

Trending via Messenger:

Making a cult with only intuitive introverts so we can all sit in silence, side-eyeing each other suspiciously.

Trending via TikTok:

Shutting up is gluten-free. Maybe add that to your diet, princess.

Trending via Instagram:

Dating me is super easy. I text you at 8; you reply at 8:00:01.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Leggings: elegant for some, elephant for others.

Going bananas on Instagram:

My life is ruined. I wish to live no more. Never mind, I found the remote.

Just shared via Discord:

You ever want someone so bad it pisses you off a little.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Forget my browser history, when I finally pass from this earth, please delete my calculator history because it’s way more embarrassing.

Making waves on Threads:

The internet is making people stupid. Not me, though.

Spotted on YouTube:

If my trainee says “oh God” one more time, he’s going to meet him.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Things went well until the evil supermarket people hid my favorite products in new places.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Every time I have to repeat myself, a new curse word gets added into the sentence.

Well, maybe grass should touch me for once. How about that?

I’m really good at compromising as long as I get my way.

I don’t flirt. I just say weird things and hope you interpret them romantically.

I refuse to go to a blood bank. I’m not taking your blood money.

Thinking of you while I’m chopping onions.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨