Twitter is great because you can get good life advice from other emotionally unstable adults.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

I threw a ball for my dog. May be a little extravagant, but he looks great in a tux.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Remember, for some unknown reason Santa doesn’t make batteries.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Y’all made fun of Plankton on Spongebob for dating a computer, and look at y’all now.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

In other news, congrats to my therapist for securing a 4 year contract with me.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Coffee should just be free for anybody over 30.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

If you’re cheering for the stormtroopers, we cannot be friends.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

I’m always looking for new and exciting ways to give up.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

I don’t know why “you made your bed now lie in it” is a bad thing. It sounds great! I’ll even lie in a bed I didn’t make.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

“This would be better if there was cake” really does ring true in any situation.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

I really admire the suns ability to be exactly where my car’s visor can’t block it out.