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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

The earlier you wake up, the more time you have to think about why you wish you were still asleep in bed.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Typos keep me humble. Every email is a gamble.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Them: You post a lot. What am I supposed to do here – fold laundry on the timeline?

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

If you see me out running, you should run too, because something is definitely chasing me.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Hope this email finds you moonwalking out of work early.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

There I was, quietly reliving my dream of having my own house, when suddenly I was attacked by insane prices.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Sitting on the middle seat of this flight and both my seatmates are reading my book over my shoulder. Should I just start reading it aloud?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Remember when movies felt real, and foreheads could wrinkle.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Moms be like, “Your cousin’s neighbor’s husband’s aunt died. Just thought you should know.”

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,681

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I don’t always clear my calculator, but when I do, I hit both C and CE a bunch of times because I don’t know exactly what they do.

Just shared via WeChat:

ROMO (relief of missing out)

Just shared via Facebook:

Feeling morally and spiritually adrift without a Sunday HBO show.

Just shared via Messenger:

When you’re a parent, your skincare routine is just the steam from the dishwasher when you open it to find the coffee cup you just needed.

Seen just now on TikTok:

In the 80s, if you woke up feeling thirsty, you could drink some of your waterbed.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Hey, are you an aurora borealis or why am I waiting in vain for you to appear?

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Revenge has no expiry date. I will deal with you when I’m ready.

Freshly posted on X:

I always bring a glass of water to bed with me so I have something to knock over in the middle of the night.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I listen to a lot of white noise, so I get really excited when it rains or someone turns on a fan. It’s like seeing my favorite band live.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

If you’re riding a bike in New York City, it means you care about your health. Riding one in Tennessee means you got a DUI.

Unfair that the older I get, the clearer photo quality gets.

0
Unfair that the older I get, the clearer photo quality gets.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
It's like the universe is saying, "Hey, here's better photo quality to capture every single wrinkle and gray hair of wisdom you've earned!" 📸👵🏼😂 #AgingLikeAFinePixel

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on Discord this month:

“I’m currently not accepting new items on my to-do list.”

84 shares on Threads this month:

Googling “effect vs affect” in an incognito window.

92 shares on Pinterest this month:

For introverts, the worst kind of head-on collision is running directly into the person we’re avoiding at the grocery store.

68 shares on Slack this month:

Taking a guy from skinny jeans to linen trousers, that’s my way of giving back to society.

52 shares on TikTok this month:

Have you noticed? When the relationship is new, the guy is never busy.

91 shares on Instagram this month:

Not to brag, but I just stood up without making a sound. Don’t be jealous.

20 shares on Facebook this month:

The best time to start a family fight is now. It gets you out of buying relatives gifts.

29 shares on Instagram this month:

I hate this time of year because all you guys care about is football, and no one wants to ogle my cleavage anymore.

73 shares on Snapchat this month:

I was told to be more optimistic so I’ve decided french fries aren’t bad for me.

46 shares on Facebook this month:

The sole purpose of your child’s middle name… is so they know when they’re really in trouble.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Everybody looks sexier when they are happy.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

All cars should have a rubber bumper all the way around so we can hit each other.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m intermittent fasting, so I have to finish this cake really quick before 6 pm.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

A mustache is just mouth bangs.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s amazing to think that a Penguin wrote all of those classic books.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Pretty messed up that my body, a chemistry lab made of meat, simply chooses to make me feel a little bit nervous for no reason.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

When people are telling me a story about their life it often reminds me of a much better story from my life.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

By the time he entered rehab, Popeye was more spinach than sailor man.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Instead of those cute mini pizzas, they should invent gigantic ones that take four people to carry.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,384

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Nobody at this train station knows that there’s a hole in my sock.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Micro-dosing time travel by going to bed.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

I wish I was born into wealth so I could have a nice 1-bedroom apartment.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

When someone yells stop I don’t know whether it’s in the name of love, it’s Hammer time, or I should smell the flowers.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

How bad can a decision really be if nobody from the future shows up to stop you?

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

If you turn your phone upside down, the stock market is actually doing quite well.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Losing and then immediately gaining weight is my superpower.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Caffeine is not enough anymore, I need to chew on a power line.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

If you want to make your mother proud, make her my mother-in-law.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Don’t buy roses for her, buy chicken nuggets. Show her you really care.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

You’ll be having a good day and then someone your age says they’re buying a house.

Just shared via TikTok:

Saying “Hmmmm” when my boss walks in so he knows I’m thinking about stuff.

Breaking via Telegram:

My addiction to buying things I don’t need started at the school book fair.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Even wild things have slow mornings.

Just shared via Discord:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next, you’re preheating the bathroom before you go in for a shower.

Just landed via Facebook:

My so-called “friends” have asked that I stop referring to them that way.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Nothing is riskier than closing your eyes again in the morning for that extra minute of sleep.

Making waves on Discord:

Slowly I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Maybe your baby is crying because he knows you don’t have rizz.

Spotted on WeChat:

If you’re in first class on a flight, sometimes they upgrade you to captain.

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