Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • All I’m dealing with is broken people. Lord, if I’m a mechanic, please tell me.
  • Basically a lot of my problems boil down to me being really bad at waking up, and also really bad at going to sleep.
  • The recipe I’m making specifically says allow to cook undisturbed, and yet my whole family is standing in the kitchen.
  • Old people like to golf every day because they are so sick of everyone’s shit and just wanna repeatedly whack something.
  • Got banned from the sauna at my gym for saying “steam me up, Scotty” a few too many times.
  • Why would I take the high road when I could take the psychopath?