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Commentary:
"Life is like a choose-your-own-adventure game, but watch out for those unexpected plot twists… like accidentally choosing the psychopath route! 🚶‍♂️🤪 #WrongTurn"

choice, choose, decision, humor, i, life, life choice, path, psychopath, take

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The way turkeys feel about November is probably how treadmills feel about January.

0

2 months ago

feel, fitness, holiday, humor, irony, January, November, treadmill, turkey
When I was a kid, they played lame music for middle-aged people in the supermarket, but this morning at Whole Foods, it’s now all amazing bangers from my youth.

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4 months ago

age, amazing, bangers, foods, funny observation, generation, i, kid, lame, middle, middle age, morning, music, nostalgia, observation, people, played, supermarket, whole, Whole Foods, youth
My superpower is holding onto stuff for years and throwing it away exactly one week before I need it.

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2 months ago

exactly, holding, humor, i, irony, need, procrastination, stuff, superpower, throwing, timing, week
Just heard my knee crack so loud I expected it to glow in the dark.

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2 months ago

crack, dark, funny injury, glow, humor, humorous, humorous moment, i, injury, joke, just, knee, knee crack, light, light joke, loud, loud sound, moment, noise, physical, physical humor, sound, unexpected, unexpected noise
Sobriety: because my standards got tired of lowering themselves.

0

5 months ago

drinking, got, humor, lifestyle, self-improvement, sobriety, standard, standards, tired
An escape room, but it’s just your high school reunion.

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2 months ago

activity, escape, escape room, event, friends, fun, fun activity, high, high school, humorous, humorous situation, just, memory, nostalgia, reunion, room, school, situation, social, social event

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Instagram this month:

My husband pissed me off so I wrapped his remote and put it under the tree.

85 shares on Twitch this month:

The week be like Mooonnnday, Tueeesday, Weeeeednesday, Thuuuuursday, FriSatSun

60 shares on Pinterest this month:

The oceans are rising because no one is drinking their recommended 8-12 glasses of water per day.

77 shares on X this month:

Someone tongue kissed me recently in a way I can only describe as 5th base.

55 shares on LinkedIn this month:

That place is so crowded; nobody goes there anymore.

90 shares on Threads this month:

Normalize talking to people in the gym who have earbuds in, they love that.

46 shares on Twitch this month:

Flies are literally obsessed with flying into a room, then pretending they can’t get out. Grow up.

80 shares on Twitch this month:

It’s not even a crush. it’s just unsupervised hope.

27 shares on X this month:

If I was the inventor of healing, I would have made it linear, I can tell you that much.

17 shares on Slack this month:

Better to be an overthinker than an overdrinker.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

If God had known what mankind would turn into, he would have sterilized Adam.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Sometimes I read a text and think, “What a psycho.” And then I press send.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Apparently I lack empathy, according to some stupid cow in HR.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

There is no bigger lie than “fun for the whole family”.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Accidentally said I was on a diet instead of in a calorie deficit, and now everyone knows I’m from the 1900s.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

I eat my first meal of the day in the afternoon, bro. Don’t ask me for advice.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Oh, sorry, I can’t right now. I’m imagining some things and worrying about them.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

My coworkers think I’m always busy, but I’m really just trying to remember my password.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

90% of debugging is just realizing your own stupidity in slow motion.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Chocolate doesn’t ask silly questions, chocolate understands.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

My sex face is the same as my first pee in three hours face.

Going bananas on Messenger:

I could put my keys in the same spot every day, but why deprive myself of a treasure hunt that makes me late.

Seen just now on Instagram:

One day you burned a CD for the last time and didn’t even realize it.

Shared recently on Discord:

Someone from Facebook Marketplace is coming over to either buy the chairs I have for sale, or to murder me.

Seen just now on TikTok:

At my funeral, take the bouquet off my casket and throw it in the crowd to see who next.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Since I’ve stayed away from most people, I get on much better with people.

Spreading quickly via X:

Screw you guys, I’m gonna go make friends with the crows.

Trending via Slack:

Seeing a grown man stumble when the train moves is disgusting. How will you provide for anyone?

Spotted on Twitch:

Middle children as adults still trying to get attention because the oldest is being dramatic and the younger child is getting away with everything.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Donnie Darko was also ahead of its time because the guy’s haunted by a giant Labubu.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You get to choose which path you take. I see some of you have chosen the psychopath.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The way turkeys feel about November is probably how treadmills feel about January.

When I was a kid, they played lame music for middle-aged people in the supermarket, but this morning at Whole Foods, it’s now all amazing bangers from my youth.

My superpower is holding onto stuff for years and throwing it away exactly one week before I need it.

Just heard my knee crack so loud I expected it to glow in the dark.

Sobriety: because my standards got tired of lowering themselves.

An escape room, but it’s just your high school reunion.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨