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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Crashed my car reading a billboard that said, “Don’t text and drive.”

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

The internal struggle between wanting to be productive and just wanting to nap all day.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Cloud 9 is a very high place to fall from.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Your Majesty” would be the best name for a cat.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Celebrating President’s Day by not doing anything I promised I would.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Sitting next to you on an empty train and clicking my stopwatch every time you turn a page in your book.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

You ever meet an all-male friend group that is less a group of friends than it is “one guy and his henchmen”?

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Too many losers and not enough people telling them they’re losers.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

My favorite thing to do is nothing.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

I put the mess in domestic.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,240

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

Shoutout to myself for ruining my own life.

Just shared via Messenger:

The streets are not for me. I belong in an enchanted forest, eating berries, and talking to my animal friends.

Just landed via Reddit:

If you really think about it, extraordinary isn’t that great. It’s just an extra helping of ordinary.

Seen just now on Instagram:

The human body requires so much maintenance. Who designed this thing?

Just landed via LinkedIn:

They said I can never go back to that Vietnamese spot. They banh mi pho life.

Breaking via WeChat:

The hottest I ever look is when I’m brushing my teeth in my underwear, but it’s very much a ‘tree falls in the woods’ situation.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Milking stools only have three legs, because the cow has the udder.

Spotted on X:

The Bible is 100% accurate when thrown at close range.

Trending via Facebook:

My most boomer belief is that you can often get a malfunctioning appliance to work again by slapping it.

Making waves on Reddit:

Gonna get my eye looked at today. Usually it’s the other way around.

You miss 100% of the gossip from the phone calls you don’t answer.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Is this why my voicemail has been renamed to 'Missed Drama Collection'? 😂📞💬

answer, call, calls, communication, gossip, humor, interaction, miss, missed, missed opportunity, opportunity, phone, phone call, social, social interaction

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If I’d married a wealthier man, I’d be lying on a fancier couch right now refusing to clean bigger rooms.

0

2 months ago

bigger, clean, cleaning, couch, humor, ID, lifestyle, luxury, lying, man, marriage, married, right, rooms, sarcasm, wealth
I know everything is expensive right now, but just remember correcting people’s grammar online is still free.

0

2 months ago

correcting, everything, expensive, free, grammar, humor, i, just, know, online, remember, right, still
I asked my boyfriend if he believed in trolls and elves and he said, “slightly.”

0

2 months ago

asked, belief, boyfriend, conversation, elf, fantasy, fun, humor, i, relationship, trolls
So does everybody have a collection of grocery bags that you keep inside of a grocery bag?

0

2 months ago

bag, bags, collection, everyday, everyday life, funny observation, grocery, grocery bag, humor, inside, keep, life, observation, organization
Why is everyone mean to the kindest people for absolutely no reason?

0

6 months ago

absolutely, behavior, empathy, everyone, interaction, irony, kindest, kindness, kindness paradox, mean, meanness, paradox, people, reason, social, social interaction, why
Beavers are so funny. Why are you a little rat doing hydraulic engineering?

0

2 months ago

animal, beaver, comedy, doing, engineering, humor, hydraulic, hydraulic engineering, little, rat

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on Messenger this month:

We all have that one coworker whose sole purpose is to reduce our life expectancy by ten years.

82 shares on Messenger this month:

I now also have a device that tells me whether I’ve taken enough steps today. If I don’t make it one day, it barks and poops in my apartment.

63 shares on Slack this month:

Went to the grocery store hungry. I didn’t need to pay rent this month anyway.

14 shares on Snapchat this month:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I didn’t want to go to work tomorrow morning.

65 shares on WeChat this month:

This is the fastest December in the history of all December.

17 shares on Snapchat this month:

“I’m just a girl!” No, you are a monster.

83 shares on YouTube this month:

I need a browser plugin that disables Amazon when I’m drinking. Hashtag: don’t drink and Prime.

30 shares on Discord this month:

As long as you don’t ever give them your real name, they can’t accuse you of not keeping the mystery alive in your relationship.

12 shares on Reddit this month:

My favorite things about Twitter are that everything you read is true, everyone is nice, and all intentions are pure of heart.

56 shares on Pinterest this month:

I just paid my taxes. The roads should be fixed any day now.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Stop letting people who are going to hell bother you.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

“We told you to stop at 2012!” – The Mayans

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Apparently the thirstiest creature in the whole world is always a kid who’s been told to go back to his bed like a hundred times.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Rewatching my story every time somebody heart it to see what they see.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

When I write “I hope this email finds you well” I’m referring to the email’s skills in tracking you down.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

So I think the mammals have now ravaged this planet long enough. It’s time for the reptiles to take over again.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Is it fall yet? I really can’t suck my stomach in much longer.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Wake up, the thinking isn’t going to overthink itself.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re always sleepy unless you’re trying to get to sleep.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Playing Mortal Kombat at an arcade in the 90’s would fix me.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

I’m very strong, but not in a get a jar open kinda way.

Going viral on Threads:

I like my messages, how I like my nuts – MIXED.

Freshly posted on X:

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a second.

Just shared via Twitch:

Dear food, either stop being so delicious or stop making me fat.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

The feminine urge to say “ouch” when I bump into things that doesn’t even hurt.

Going viral on Twitch:

Hey, you should start your own business and then mind it.

Trending via Instagram:

I hate dealing with fresh garlic. Each individual clove with their little f***ing paperwork.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Washing machine minutes are not the same as regular minutes.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Maybe hot chocolate wants to be called beautiful chocolate at least one time.

Live now on Threads:

The only narcissist I allow in my life is my cat.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You miss 100% of the gossip from the phone calls you don’t answer.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If I’d married a wealthier man, I’d be lying on a fancier couch right now refusing to clean bigger rooms.

I know everything is expensive right now, but just remember correcting people’s grammar online is still free.

I asked my boyfriend if he believed in trolls and elves and he said, “slightly.”

So does everybody have a collection of grocery bags that you keep inside of a grocery bag?

Why is everyone mean to the kindest people for absolutely no reason?

Beavers are so funny. Why are you a little rat doing hydraulic engineering?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨