Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

I’m not saying I’m old, but when I was in school, we made our parents ashtrays for Christmas.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

The elderberry is the wisest and most knowledgeable of all the berries.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

There is certainly no life on other planets. Otherwise our government would have sent money there long ago.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

If you haven’t tried blindfold archery, you should give it a go. You don’t know what you’re missing.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

The best part about having a crush is when they crush all your hopes and dreams.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

At my age, this “microsleep” can sometimes last hours.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Am I just an Untitled Document to you?

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

You’re telling me people get eight hours of sleep? Like in one night?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

I love when kids tell me what they want to be when they grow up, because I’m still looking for ideas.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Proposing at someone else’s wedding is out. Die at their funeral like a real man.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,478

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

Clicking on a suspicious link at work just to feel something.

Breaking via Slack:

I think airplanes would be way cooler if the wings flapped like a bird.

Seen just now on Threads:

Currently looking for tickets for the first flight back to the ’90s.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

My stomach just made the exact sound of the “your” in “your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice messaging system.”

Freshly posted on Discord:

“You just want an easy life.” Should I want a difficult one?

Going viral on Telegram:

You’re an atheist? Well, I don’t believe you. See how you like it.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Eating fast food shouldn’t count for calories because it’s not around long enough.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Ginger ale is the champagne of soda.

Just landed via Threads:

20’s: what even is a hangover? 40’s: puts on sunglasses to open fridge…

Seen just now on YouTube:

I appreciate the people that interact with me and I really appreciate the ones that don’t.

After smartphones, we never got pictures of Bigfoot anymore. You know why? That’s right: 5G killed all the Bigfoots.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess even Bigfoot couldn't handle the upgrade 📱👀🦶🌲 #5GProblems

5G, after, Bigfoot, conspiracy, got, humor, joke, killed, know, never, picture, pictures, right, smartphone, technology, why

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Some people are like clouds. When they go away it’s much better.

0

2 months ago

away, better, cloud, humor, people, positivity, relationships
When I learned the word “literally,” that was the beginning of the end.

0

3 months ago

beginning, end, expression, humor, i, irony, language, learned, learning, literally, word
An orgasm before bed is nature’s strongest sleep aid.

0

3 months ago

aid, bed, bedtime, before, humor, nature, orgasm, relaxation, sleep, sleep aid
I want to be gangsta but my grandma said no.

0

2 months ago

family, gangsta, grandma, humor, irony, rebellion, want, wishes
This post is invisible, and only heathens can see it.

0

3 months ago

heathen, humor, invisible, joke, only, post
What substance do I have to abuse to stop yearning?

0

2 months ago

abuse, addiction, coping, desire, humor, i, longing, stop, substance, yearning

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s nice to have a moment to breathe before reality knocks the wind out of you again.

28 shares on Discord this month:

I’m not even doomscrolling anymore; I’m just regular scrolling, and everything’s doomed.

10 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Just did several sets of some bullshit at the gym… no idea which muscles have been targeted.

65 shares on LinkedIn this month:

What are some beginner bad habits for someone just getting into ruining their life?

86 shares on Slack this month:

I love to see “pan-fried” on a menu. I hate food that’s fried in a shoe.

39 shares on Reddit this month:

Sorry for having no idea what the hell I am doing. It will happen again.

62 shares on Snapchat this month:

It’s curious how kids are always really hungry right before dinner and right after dinner, but never during actual dinner.

90 shares on WeChat this month:

Robot bartender rips me in half after listening to my problems for over an hour.

75 shares on Facebook this month:

My optimism doesn’t come out of thin air. A flask is involved.

92 shares on Twitch this month:

Getting ghosted by someone who bothered you in the first place is crazy.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched the argument I baited you with.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

I can’t wait to see my older sister so she can point out I have more gray hair than she does.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

There’ll be a time someone will convince you to watch Game of Thrones. It is very important that you listen to them and watch.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Having an exorcism, but only because the demon requested it.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

“I’m disgusted by how many of you still use Spotify. I use a fair trade, ethically conscientious mom-and-pop platform called Apple Music.”

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

There’s not gonna be a civil war. None of us can afford to take that much time off work.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

A girl, her bed, and TV series on a Friday evening is a true love story.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

It’s exciting to receive a Valentine’s Day card and not know who it’s from. A Father’s Day card, not so much.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Being a consultant would be fun. Like “hmmm… maybe! Here’s your invoice.”

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Why is no one talking about the sheer pleasure of coming home from vacation and using your own bathroom.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

All my passwords are protected by short term memory loss.

Just landed via X:

Have you ever pretended not to look at the biscuits or sweets being handed around the room, and acted surprised when you got offered one?

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I’m not like the other girls. I’m a 37 year old man.

Spotted on WeChat:

Oxygen was discovered in 1773. How did our ancestors breathe before then?

Breaking via LinkedIn:

To-do list: bite the hand that feeds me, put all my eggs in one basket, kill two birds with one stone, let the cat out of the bag, think inside the box, burn bridges, walk on thin ice, play with fire.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

If we “talk,” you ain’t single. We’re in a pending relationship. You’re in the cart.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Each day on Twitter, there is one main character. The goal is to never be it.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

The best thing capitalism has done is put a little window on pasta boxes so the noodles can look out at the world.

Just landed via TikTok:

Two mysterious people live in my house. “Somebody” and “Nobody.” Somebody did it and nobody knows who.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

For the amount of meat you get out of clam, I feel like we could just leave them alone.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

After smartphones, we never got pictures of Bigfoot anymore. You know why? That’s right: 5G killed all the Bigfoots.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Some people are like clouds. When they go away it’s much better.

When I learned the word “literally,” that was the beginning of the end.

An orgasm before bed is nature’s strongest sleep aid.

I want to be gangsta but my grandma said no.

This post is invisible, and only heathens can see it.

What substance do I have to abuse to stop yearning?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨