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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I can’t today, I have to rot in bed and squander my potential.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

It’s all fun and games until you send the clapping emoji instead of the prayer hands when commenting on the news of a death in the family.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

I might start telling people I’m 10 years older than I actually am just so they can tell me how great I look for my age.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

The date abruptly ended over a disagreement on how to pronounce Gnocchi.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

When you ask for your phone charger back and your teenager has the audacity to ask “what percentage are you on?”

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Apart from “It’s okay”, what other death threats do women use?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Your Honor, that doesn’t sound like me.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Bank account nice and empty. Starting the new month on a clean slate.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Me: This is my favorite. I would like to buy this exact same item of clothing again. The fashion industry: No.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

I have never seen a sad person sliding down a water slide.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,479

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

On my way to HR again for nicknaming my coworker “Mastercard” because they take credit for other people’s work.

Breaking via X:

Three drinks in and that skateboard outside is looking rideable.

Just shared via Instagram:

No matter how old you are, when the kitchen roll is empty, you have a telescope.

Making waves on WeChat:

I don’t like being asked “are you at home?” Please expand further so I can know whether I’m at home or not.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Not me out here checking the growth progress of my potted flowers only a couple hours after I planted the seeds in the first place.

Making waves on WeChat:

I’m not like other teenagers, I’m 51.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Can’t wait to put up holiday lights so life can be equally crappy but festively so.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Yes, I was behind the DJ booth, but only as a cultural anthropologist.

Shared recently on Slack:

The problem with dating apps is I don’t wanna date someone that would use a dating app.

Trending via YouTube:

You’re telling me this moron’s on oxy.

After smartphones, we never got pictures of Bigfoot anymore. You know why? That’s right: 5G killed all the Bigfoots.

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After smartphones, we never got pictures of Bigfoot anymore. You know why? That’s right: 5G killed all the Bigfoots.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess even Bigfoot couldn't handle the upgrade 📱👀🦶🌲 #5GProblems

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on Facebook this month:

Sunday is my favorite day to invent new things to worry about.

61 shares on Reddit this month:

I would rather lose you than the argument.

69 shares on Instagram this month:

I’ve found God. It’s my turn to hide now.

66 shares on Pinterest this month:

Dinosaurs never had coffee, and we see how that turned out.

30 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t understand how some people find love several times in their lives. I first have to find someone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

90 shares on TikTok this month:

Do clouds ever look down on us and say, “This one is shaped like an idiot”?

24 shares on Pinterest this month:

Hey, can I get an ETA on that “this too shall pass”?

12 shares on Slack this month:

We go together like coffee and cigarettes.

87 shares on Telegram this month:

So I used to wonder about people that paid a fortune for those little bottles of Evian water, until I read it backwards.

59 shares on Facebook this month:

Wishing I could hit snooze on life’s alarm clock!

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a sunburn is so humiliating. Now everyone knows I was unprepared for the realities of the wilderness. It marks me as the weakest link. The hungry animals are closing in.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

wearing no bra and oversized clothes is self-care at its finest

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Dude, we’re gonna be treating others how we want to be treated later if you wanna pull up.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I always set two alarms, one for “Good Intentions Me” and one for “The Real Me”

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Public transportation is great, but they should invent a type where it’s only me in the vehicle.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Ask a man what a good woman is, and watch him describe a slave.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Guys have good pics on their dating profiles because their ex took them.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

A chocolate advent calendar is a test of restraint that I simply do not have.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

You learn a lot about someone when you marry them. For example, I learned I should have married someone else.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

How coked up was the guy that came up with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,633

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

If your store’s bowl of water is just for pets, you should really put up a sign.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

The bank just called and gave me the biggest compliment, said my balance is outstanding. I really needed that today.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Don’t listen to them, little password. You are strong.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

At this point, the only thing that can heal me is memory loss.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

There aren’t enough rap songs about cutting coupons.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Anyone who doesn’t like me snoring, doesn’t deserve me moaning either.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Shout out to the people getting $400 hotel rooms on Feb 14th to do the same two positions they do at home.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Depression is embarrassing because sometimes it makes you miss appointments and not return phone calls, and when the fog starts to lift, you gotta do a whole bloody apology tour.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

My bad habits got renewed for another season.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

There’s nothing better than knowing that you don’t have to set an alarm clock for the next day.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

Porn actresses envy the look on my face when I clean my ear with a cotton bud.

Seen just now on Telegram:

An electric car is just another electric chair.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Nobody is busier than a woman who isn’t into you.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I hate being around people who mistake my childlike wonder as naivety or weakness. I am simply a war general who loves to giggle.

Trending via Pinterest:

Twitter when Franz Ferdinand got shot would have been the best day ever.

Going viral on Pinterest:

It’s okay to admit you want my lips on yours.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Just paid my bills, so don’t ask me to come out. I’m at home getting my money’s worth.

Seen just now on Discord:

Naturally introverted, selectively extroverted.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Spoiler alert: Eventually you will pay a price for the way you treated people.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

And now begins the yearly tradition of writing the incorrect year on everything, for the next 3 months.

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