Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

A man’s home is his castle, but his garage is his sanctuary.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

People who wear jeans for fun around their house have bodies buried in their backyard.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Second day without coffee. I can no longer hear out of my left eye.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

I could put my keys in the same spot every day, but why deprive myself of a treasure hunt that makes me late.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I think about starting a podcast and then I remember all I do during conversations is nod.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Jesus died for your sins. If you don’t sin then he died for nothing!

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

The first five days after the weekend are the worst.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my daughter 3 months ago, where would you be hiding?

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

This Monday could have been an email.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

The only reason to engage with a neighbor is if either of you is on fire.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,339

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Vegan zombies be like: GRAINS!

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I think my dad just eradicated a small village with his sneeze.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

After an hour on this team meeting I’m not wanting to be a team player anymore.

Spotted on Facebook:

One day you’re 18 eating pizza for every lunch, then suddenly you’re 30 and eating salad with celery and kale juice.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I was dropped as an adult.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

McDonald’s only giving me 9 Chicken Nuggets instead of 10 is how my villain origin story began.

Shared recently on Instagram:

It’s comical when I lean back in my chair only to realize it’s a stool.

Just landed via Threads:

Is my life this bad because I didn’t forward that email to 15 people back in 2007?

As funny as it sounds, the easiest way to get women is by having a girlfriend.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the classic "girlfriend magnet" effect in action! Who knew romance came with its own gravitational pull? 😂🧲❤️

dating, Funny, girlfriend, having, humor, irony, relationship, sounds, woman, women

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Had salad for the third night in a row and now I get why you’re so angry, vegans.

2 months ago

angry, diet, food, food humor, humor, i, night, salad, third, third night, vegan
Do not EVER text while driving. Please use the giant iPad attached to your dashboard.

2 months ago

attached, dashboard, distraction, driving, ever, giant, humor, iPad, please, safety, technology, text, texting
Sometimes I wanna delete all my social media and throw my phone into a river.

5 months ago

delete, detox, digital, digital detox, frustration, humor, i, life, media, modern, modern life, phone, relief, river, social, social media, sometimes, stress, stress relief, technology, throw
It’s crazy I need a certificate to prove I was born when you can literally just look at me.

2 months ago

absurdity, age, born, certificate, crazy, i, identity, just, me, need, proof, prove
Can’t wait for the day off from work so I can sit on the couch at home and stare at the TV screen while thinking about work.

2 months ago

couch, day, day off, home, humor, i, leisure, procrastination, relaxation, screen, sit, stare, staycation, thinking, TV, wait, while, work
My dog sure does give a lot of side eye for someone without a job.

2 months ago

animal, animal behavior, behavior, dog, eye, give, humor, job, lot, pet, side, side eye, someone, sure

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Amazing how fast my addiction to my phone is cured the moment I get a phone call.

40 shares on Snapchat this month:

Some women seated next to me are gossiping in French. They obviously think I’m some dumb American who doesn’t speak French and they are correct.

43 shares on Pinterest this month:

Snow White and the seven dwarves of the menopause; Itchy, Bitchy, Sweaty, Sleepy, Bloated, Forgetful, and Psycho.

84 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m always sad when my sandwich is over.

40 shares on TikTok this month:

Grown men carpooling to the strip club so they can get boners and drive home together.

91 shares on WeChat this month:

They should invent a weekend that goes by slowly.

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

When intelligence meets empathy and kindness, it’s so sexy.

80 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s so rude how many of you have the audacity to be out peopling around whenever I go somewhere.

64 shares on Threads this month:

My body is a “wonder what happened” land.

71 shares on Threads this month:

Can someone please help me, I’m still at the Fyre Festival.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Tech enthusiasts: My entire house is smart. Tech workers: The only piece of technology in my house is a printer, and I keep a gun next to it so I can shoot it if it makes a noise I don’t recognize.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

The bad news is I forgot to wear my spaghetti-eating shirt. The good news is I have a new spaghetti-eating shirt.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

I hate it when you ask what you thought was a simple question in a meeting at work, and it turns into another meeting.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Someone tongue kissed me recently in a way I can only describe as 5th base.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

I have a man cold. Goodbye, world. Tell my story.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

I feel like I’m in jail when I’m around unfunny people for too long.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

(To my coworker that’s a year younger than me) You’re like a son to me.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Stress in private, complain on Twitter, happy in public.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

An escape room, but it’s just your thoughts. Good luck.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m capable of doing a lot of things but listening to people chew their food is not one of them.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

The best thing about living with my parents is being woken up four minutes before my alarm to be told my alarm is about to go off.

Just shared via Threads:

Sometimes nature makes art, like trees, waterfalls, and the human butt.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Kids today will never understand how many ninjas there were in the 1980s.

Just landed via Threads:

When they have a dream sequence in a movie, how do they film the person’s dream?

Just shared via Slack:

I’m not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too.

Making waves on TikTok:

Inventor of pink lemonade: yes, exactly the same, but cute and for the girls.

Shared recently on X:

We live in a cosmic tornado, but sure, let’s all get jobs.

Trending via Messenger:

There is no bigger lie than “fun for the whole family”.

Just shared via Instagram:

Shoutout to coughing on the bus. Haven’t tried it myself but seems really popular.

Making waves on WeChat:

It’s really sad that April Fools is the only day people are appropriately skeptical of stuff they read on the internet.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

As funny as it sounds, the easiest way to get women is by having a girlfriend.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Had salad for the third night in a row and now I get why you’re so angry, vegans.

Do not EVER text while driving. Please use the giant iPad attached to your dashboard.

Sometimes I wanna delete all my social media and throw my phone into a river.

It’s crazy I need a certificate to prove I was born when you can literally just look at me.

Can’t wait for the day off from work so I can sit on the couch at home and stare at the TV screen while thinking about work.

My dog sure does give a lot of side eye for someone without a job.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨