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When life gives you oranges, make sure they're ready for the party 🎉🍊👠
Author Archives: slickboy
Big fan of calling artists their first name and then the band name as their last name.
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Guess I'll start calling him Dave Foo Fighters from now on! 🎸😄
No, you don’t understand. This is my special mistake. I keep making it because it is very dear to me, like an old friend.
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Ah yes, the classic case of Mistake Stockholm Syndrome! Can't quit those nostalgic mishaps 😂🔄👯♂️
An escape room, but it’s just your thoughts. Good luck.
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Trying to find the exit in my mind is like playing hide and seek with a ghost. 😂🧠🚪
Guilty pleasure? Why would I ever feel guilty about pleasure.
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Zero guilt, infinite pleasure! 😎✨ #LivingMyBestLife
Every time I leave the house, I’m reminded why sweatpants exist.
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When comfort becomes the true fashion statement of the week 😂🩳🏆
Once I matched with a guy and ended up finding out he lived in my neighborhood, so I told him to go outside and scream, and he did. And I heard it.
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That’s one way to find out who’s truly committed to the match! 📣😂 #LocalLove
All strapless bras need to be taken off the shelves. A total recall. We do not have the technology yet.
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Strapless bras: fashion's version of duct tape—works in theory, falls apart in practice! 🚫👙🤣
One day my sanity went out for smokes and never came back.
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Looks like my sanity joined a rock band and is on tour 🚬🎸🤪
Had the bed all to myself last night, so you know what that means… I slept in a slightly different spot, and now my neck feels weird.
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When you finally claim the entire bed but then ruin it with a rogue pillow move 😂🛌💥🦒 #SleepAdventures