Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

For my final act of love, I will never contact you again, but think of you always.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

If you see me out running, you should run too, because something is definitely chasing me.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Imagine being a bald vampire and every time you walk by a mirror your toupée is just floating.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

My favorite part of the Bible is when Jesus says to put a cross emoji and a Bible verse in your bio, and then call people slurs on the internet.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

My whole life is basically a blooper reel.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

I support Bluesky in theory, but in practice, it’s like a JRPG with no bad guys.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

My parents still haven’t apologized for making me ugly.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

If my trainee says “oh God” one more time, he’s going to meet him.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

May you heal from that fanfic that never got updated.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my horniest.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,505

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

You don’t become cooler with age, but you do care progressively less about being cool, which is the only true way of being cool. This is called the Geezer’s Paradox.

Trending via Messenger:

You couldn’t pay me to do this year again.

Live now on WeChat:

When someone says they’re never going to talk to me again, I do the right thing and say thank you.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Person in murder documentary: This is a small town. Things like this don’t happen here. Me: Um, based on the shows I watch, that’s all that happens in small towns.

Trending via Discord:

Does the HDMI cord have the most dominant run of any cord ever?

Live now on WeChat:

My signature move is forgetting someone’s name 2 seconds after they tell me.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Cowboy outfits should be called ranch dressing.

Breaking via Pinterest:

If you’re soft, don’t come to my house, cause my kids will roast you.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Can everyone please turn their A/C off during the day, we need that power to generate images of people with eight fingers.

Shared recently on Facebook:

This meeting could have been a pajama party.

Babe, wanna come over and watch me apply for jobs on Indeed until I start to cry.

3 weeks ago

Funny text about a playful, relatable moment applying for jobs on Indeed with a humorous tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sure, sounds like a perfect plan for a Friday night date—bring snacks for the tears! 😂🍿💼

applying, applying for job, babe, cry, crying, date, frustration, humor, i, Indeed, job, job search, jobs, me, over, relationship, search, start, watch

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Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m too tired to shower. Anyone want to wash my back?

30 shares on Messenger this month:

Why aren’t we using these t-shirt cannons for burritos?

80 shares on Pinterest this month:

Can we normalize arguing with little kids? They’re so rude.

64 shares on Messenger this month:

There’s never a good place to clip your toenails at the library.

55 shares on X this month:

Might quit my job to focus on summer.

49 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m not good at quickly making up derogatory names on the fly, unless I’m driving.

73 shares on Twitch this month:

I ate my exam paper. Which means that pretty soon I’ll pass the test.

86 shares on Twitch this month:

If the zombie apocalypse happens we’re double screwed because there are millions on record as having no brain.

16 shares on Messenger this month:

Sorry for having no idea what the hell I am doing. It will happen again.

17 shares on Pinterest this month:

Boyfriend hasn’t accepted my LinkedIn request yet. He doesn’t want to connect. He doesn’t want to build.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

I’m tired of adding ‘LOL’ to the end of my texts for sensitive people.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

The older I get, the more I appreciate people who pretend not to notice me when they see me out in public.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Am I the only person who would rather almost fall over carrying the shopping than walk a second time?

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

I probably think this song is about me.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

If you like pointing out beautiful scenery to three people who are on their phones, a family road trip is for you.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry I roasted you, I was trying to flirt.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Text a co-worker at a random time “are you joining this meeting?” as a fun holiday prank.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

I hate when you leave your phone on the side, and it brings up that red evil clock.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

I love going “Streets are saying” before I say something I literally just made up.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

You now have the chance to be the first person to send me nudes.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

I need someone to wring out my brain like a dishrag.

Breaking via Telegram:

I thought I wanted a career. Turns out all I wanted is paychecks.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Who called it a deep freeze instead of ice-o-lation?

Spotted on Telegram:

Dark mode changed me. White screens now feel like staring into the sun.

Making waves on Discord:

Probably the most humiliating thing that can happen when you die is that you come back as a fitted-sheet ghost.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that I’ll eventually be able to get back in it.

Making waves on Threads:

Who needs a dominatrix when you can be beaten up by an automatically retracting vacuum cleaner cable?

Seen just now on Reddit:

You can talk about any topic for 30 mins if you’re a confident liar.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Trust my gut? The thing that tricks me into buying gas station sushi and roller dogs? No thanks.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Watching a movie and subtitles not syncing is low-key pain.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Babe, wanna come over and watch me apply for jobs on Indeed until I start to cry.

If I ever die on some hill, rest assured, something fishy is going on.

Without freedom of speech we wouldn’t know who the idiots are.

Tequila won’t fix your life, but it’s worth a shot.

I’m not lazy. I just give my couch the love it deserves.

We should make a new internet that’s as hard to use as the old internet was, so anyone that’s too stupid to have used the internet 20 years ago can’t get on it.

I don’t know much, but I know this: the older you get, the faster the number of things you’re willing to wait in line for approaches zero.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Babe, wanna come over and watch me apply for jobs on Indeed until I start to cry.

Keep the laugh going 😂

If I ever die on some hill, rest assured, something fishy is going on.

Without freedom of speech we wouldn’t know who the idiots are.

Tequila won’t fix your life, but it’s worth a shot.

I’m not lazy. I just give my couch the love it deserves.

We should make a new internet that’s as hard to use as the old internet was, so anyone that’s too stupid to have used the internet 20 years ago can’t get on it.

I don’t know much, but I know this: the older you get, the faster the number of things you’re willing to wait in line for approaches zero.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨