Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

If you’re happy and you know it, you’re clearly not paying enough attention.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

We should be able to go to the bar and drink to watch Love Island, like men do with sports.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

The Titanic is a great lesson of why “just the tip” can get you into a whole lot of trouble.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

“Bye, have a great day, I’ll see you after school”, I tell the orange in my kid’s lunch.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

What no one ever considers is that the kids are pretending to believe in Santa for the sake of the parents.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Damn boy, are you a horoscope? Because I’m selectively focusing on the parts of you that make sense for me.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Whatever y’all heard about me, I’m way worse.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Adulting is realizing Monday is a better ‘off day’ than Friday.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

I’m pretty sure by now that we’re some kind of satire channel on some other planet.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

I may join the cicadas this summer and just scream for six weeks straight.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,541

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

We should be able to call in healthy: “I feel amazing today, and I’m not wasting it at work.”

Trending via Twitch:

A couple of years ago, the internet was an escape from the real world. Today, the real world is an escape from the internet.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Relationship status: I’m the only one wearing my hoodies.

Just shared via Messenger:

I have three full closets of nothing to wear.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I’m sorry I said “I look forward to working with you” during our wedding vows.

Just shared via X:

Just done a HIIT workout and if anyone sees me trying to do that again just go ahead and hiit me in the face.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Car insurance should give you back money at the end of the year for having no accidents.

Live now on LinkedIn:

If you are sad, just sing and you will realize that your voice is worse than your problem.

Just shared via YouTube:

I’ve named my couch American Idle.

Breaking via Facebook:

What’s a good career for people with no motivation or talent?

Babe, wanna come over and watch me apply for jobs on Indeed until I start to cry.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sure, sounds like a perfect plan for a Friday night date—bring snacks for the tears! 😂🍿💼

applying, applying for job, babe, cry, crying, date, frustration, humor, i, Indeed, job, job search, jobs, me, over, relationship, search, start, watch

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you push your belly button and nose at the same time, your brain takes a screenshot.

0

2 months ago

activity, belly, belly button, brain, button, humor, nose, push, quirky, same, screenshot, silly, time
I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it’s like a circus in my head.

0

2 months ago

casual, chaos, circus, guy, head, humor, laid-back, personality
Candy companies will look you straight in the eye and lie about how they know what a banana tastes like.

0

2 months ago

banana, candy, company, eye, food, honesty, humor, know, lie, perception, straight, taste
You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

0

2 months ago

account, bank, cash, depressed, depression, finances, financial, financial joke, health, humor, income, joke, just, mental, mental health, money, need, sarcasm, wealth
Every day is a D-Day, if you’re a stutterer.

0

2 months ago

challenge, daily, daily challenge, day, difficulty, every, humor, speech, speech difficulty, stutterer
Sometimes you have to sit back and imagine what life could be if it wasn’t a horrifying nightmare.

0

17 hours ago

back, humor, imagination, imagine, irony, life, nightmare, perspective, sit, sometimes

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on Threads this month:

Waffles are just pancakes with abs.

54 shares on Reddit this month:

Most of your problems emanate from assuming that you are intelligent. Ease into your stupidity, and be free.

59 shares on Pinterest this month:

You honestly gotta believe in yourself so much that it’s borderline delusional.

98 shares on Threads this month:

I kinda want a boyfriend but then where will I put my purse when I drive?

32 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you can’t laugh at yourself, I will.

44 shares on Snapchat this month:

Thank you for the opportunity but I don’t think being human is a good fit for me. I’m going to go back to school to become an octopus.

85 shares on YouTube this month:

If I could have dinner with anyone, living or dead, I’d pick living.

58 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m at the age where living in the woods and arguing with a raccoon sounds like a peaceful retirement plan.

84 shares on YouTube this month:

Never skip the footnotes – it’s here you find out who made the author angry enough to write the article.

39 shares on YouTube this month:

I hate when I’m typing away, expecting autocorrect to have my back, and I look down and just see awjdbdmkskan.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Nothing fixes your life the way deactivating Instagram does.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

You can tell me what you want, but alcohol and eye contact are a dangerous combination.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Tupperware is a fun way to store your leftovers until you throw them away.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Vatican City should be called Popenhagen.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Adulthood is about being able to eat cookies for breakfast, but not doing it because you already ate all the cookies.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

I just want a man to look at me the way Doc from ‘Back to the Future’ looks when something exciting happens.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

The good old days, when you didn’t have to charge your watch and it didn’t constantly remind you how fat you were.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Stopped using exclamation points in work messages so my coworkers know they’ve killed my spirit.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Do you say “Excuse me” to your pet when you walk by them, or are you rude?

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

ADHD is when you buy a blender and then make smoothies every day for 2 weeks, and then never make one or even acknowledge your blender ever again.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Messenger:

Wine must breathe. I always hear that wine needs to breathe. I want to drink it and not revive it.

Making waves on Threads:

To-do list: bite the hand that feeds me, put all my eggs in one basket, kill two birds with one stone, let the cat out of the bag, think inside the box, burn bridges, walk on thin ice, play with fire.

Just shared via Slack:

It’s Friday. I ran out of small talk on Tuesday. Please leave me alone.

Just shared via Telegram:

Depression is embarrassing because sometimes it makes you miss appointments and not return phone calls, and when the fog starts to lift, you gotta do a whole bloody apology tour.

Trending via Threads:

I’m not asking for a lot, I just want someone down to earth that’s gonna touch me all over like my shower curtain does.

Going viral on Slack:

I’m just here trying to spread a little joy while the world burns. Is that so wrong?

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Anyone who thinks being a pessimist isn’t any fun fails to appreciate the joy of saying, ‘I told you so.’

Just shared via Twitch:

The bank just called and gave me the biggest compliment, said my balance is outstanding. I really needed that today.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

You ever see a woman so beautiful it makes you momentarily mentally ill?

Just landed via Discord:

Women always want to marry intelligent men. What they don’t know: Intelligent men don’t want to marry.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Babe, wanna come over and watch me apply for jobs on Indeed until I start to cry.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If you push your belly button and nose at the same time, your brain takes a screenshot.

I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it’s like a circus in my head.

Candy companies will look you straight in the eye and lie about how they know what a banana tastes like.

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

Every day is a D-Day, if you’re a stutterer.

Sometimes you have to sit back and imagine what life could be if it wasn’t a horrifying nightmare.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨