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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends meetings early.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Me leaving the house: I hope I don’t see anyone.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

I’m gonna build a pirate ship and sail the high seas. Who’s coming with?

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Jesus rose from the grave because he forgot to clear his browser history.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Mood to play music louder than my thoughts.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Way too many low IQ conspiracy theories floating around. Give me high IQ conspiracy theories.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

I wanna become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Obsessed with how Siri just doesn’t work at all, ever.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

You learn a lot about someone when you marry them. For example, I learned I should have married someone else.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

It’s time to stare blankly at my wall for hours straight and think about where I went wrong with my life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,530

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

I’m a Leo so I just eat the other astrological signs.

Just shared via Messenger:

My personal brand is being the guest at a wedding who can’t dance but puts in a noticeable effort.

Seen just now on Discord:

You looked so beautiful and combative as we were detained for questioning.

Just landed via Instagram:

Twitter is great because you can tweet “hi” and someone will tell you you’re wrong.

Live now on Discord:

They should let me go inside everyones house just to see.

Live now on Reddit:

Kanye is pretty mean for someone with ‘yay’ in their name.

Live now on Twitch:

Instead of saying “Good morning,” my wife and I go straight into explanations of how badly we each slept.

Spotted on Slack:

My head is starting to get dented from hitting rock bottom so often.

Making waves on Threads:

Why put off until tomorrow what you can have an intern do today?

Live now on Telegram:

What are some beginner bad habits for someone just getting into ruining their life?

Carefully choosing which wine to pair with a McRib.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When you're deciding between a fine Merlot or a rare 'McRib Red' for that gourmet experience! 🍷🤔🍔"

carefully, casual, casual dining, choice, dining, fast, fast food, food, food humor, food joke, humor, joke, McRib, pairing, quirky, quirky choice, wine, wine pairing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

In Russia, the cold complains about you.

0

2 months ago

cold, complain, humor, irony, Russia, sarcasm, weather
If you’re doing Dry January, please, please, keep it to yourself. Nobody cares, and you’re probably even more boring without alcohol.

0

2 months ago

alcohol, boring, choice, doing, dry, Dry January, even, humor, interaction, January, keep, lifestyle, nobody, personal, personal choice, self-control, social, social interaction, yourself
“So, what are your hobbies?” Oh, I can’t afford any.

0

2 months ago

afford, conversation, finance, hobby, humor, i, joke, money, oh, poverty
Writing cover letters feels soooo “Ever since I was a little boy, I knew I wanted to be an administrative assistant when I grew up.”

0

1 month ago

administrative, administrative assistant, application, aspiration, assistant, boy, career, career aspiration, childhood, childhood dream, cover, cover letter, dream, ever, feels, humor, i, job, job application, letter, letters, little, wanted, writing
Never let your job prevent you from acting unemployed.

0

2 months ago

acting, comedy, humor, job, let, motivation, never, prevent, unemployed, unemployment, work
Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck got engaged, broke up, married other people, had children, reunited, got married, broke up again, and I’ve been single that whole time.

0

2 months ago

affleck, again, ben, Ben Affleck, broke, broke up, children, engaged, humor, Jennifer, Jennifer Lopez, life, lopez, love, love life, married, people, relationship, reunited, single, time, whole

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on X this month:

Some people believe the appendix is a vestigial organ, that its use has long since passed. I think it’s primordial. Its use has yet to come.

12 shares on Reddit this month:

Who decided that “microwaves that beep forever” was a feature we needed.

77 shares on X this month:

When I was a kid, I never expected the future to suck this much.

84 shares on Threads this month:

That fight could’ve been an email.

39 shares on TikTok this month:

What are some beginner bad habits for someone just getting into ruining their life?

14 shares on Threads this month:

Babies will literally step on your face just to grab what they want.

28 shares on Snapchat this month:

Being bilingual means stuttering in both languages.

20 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Wine must breathe. I always hear that wine needs to breathe. I want to drink it and not revive it.

75 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Someone needs to make an app for a Tamagotchi that you keep alive by going offline.

79 shares on Facebook this month:

Lost my job to AI (my job was to be loudly and confidently incorrect).

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Kim Kardashian wants her ashes to be scattered in the sea after her death. As if there wasn’t enough plastic there already.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Anyone else get excited about going to bed because you know there’ll be coffee in the morning, or is that just me?

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Today, I want to talk about underperforming continents. Antarctica, explain yourself.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Two people had sex and now I’m fighting for my life everyday.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

I asked my boyfriend if he believed in trolls and elves and he said, “slightly.”

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Middle-aged math is going out drinking and feeling half your age then waking up the next morning feeling twice your age.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Alcohol is a vicious cycle: regret, recovery, repeat.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

In my house the roles are reversed cause my kids tell me to turn my music down.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

If it hurts you more than it hurts them, you are holding the taser wrong.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Due to personal reasons, I must make it in life.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Pinterest:

I’m really getting tired of being a responsible adult.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I wish Amazon would stop finding things I might like.

Trending via Slack:

I have no use for mean people. I’ll walk right past you like you’re furniture.

Trending via Facebook:

No, I didn’t eat enough protein today, but I did think of you with enough intensity to generate new muscle tissue in my heart.

Shared recently on TikTok:

People are too judgmental these days… I can tell just by looking at them.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

If the man is silent, he is a thinker. If the woman is silent, the thinker is in big trouble.

Just landed via Telegram:

My nickname in high school was “who?”

Going viral on Instagram:

I know you miss me. The tarot lady on TikTok just told me.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Your secret is safe with me because I don’t care.

Just shared via Messenger:

I’m not super into getting older but I do like how nobody asks me to help them move anymore.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Carefully choosing which wine to pair with a McRib.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

In Russia, the cold complains about you.

If you’re doing Dry January, please, please, keep it to yourself. Nobody cares, and you’re probably even more boring without alcohol.

“So, what are your hobbies?” Oh, I can’t afford any.

Writing cover letters feels soooo “Ever since I was a little boy, I knew I wanted to be an administrative assistant when I grew up.”

Never let your job prevent you from acting unemployed.

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck got engaged, broke up, married other people, had children, reunited, got married, broke up again, and I’ve been single that whole time.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨