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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Everyone becomes a robo-dancer when the motion sensor faucet isn’t working.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

If you’re cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and continue to participate in family game night.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Woke up, twerked in the mirror and laid back down.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

If you see me online, I’m not chatting. I’m busy ignoring the world and laughing at memes like it’s therapy.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

When people talk about enriching their lives, I assume they’ve found a way to add more cheese.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

No one talks about the resentment you have towards yourself after you didn’t listen to your gut.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

How are they running out of oxygen if they’re breathing it right back into the submarine?

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Does my special place in hell have wi-fi?

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Told my girlfriend that Mum is deaf, so speak loud and slow. Also told Mum that my girlfriend has special needs.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

I lied, there’s no sex. I just need you to change the batteries in my smoke detectors.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,653

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Much of my algorithm is based on when I paused while scrolling to grab a snack.

Trending via Instagram:

Clearly, hell is empty, the demons are all here.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I hate commas. It’s not my job to tell you when you breathe. Work it out, you’re a grown adult.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Subtitles are for when you’re eating chips.

Seen just now on Threads:

Ludacris once said “If you ain’t got no money take yo’ broke ass home” and I haven’t left the house since.

Going viral on Discord:

Refusing to make eye contact with anyone while I eat my banana.

Just shared via TikTok:

It really is Monday every 15 minutes.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Schrodinger’s Immigrant: A person who is simultaneously too lazy to work, but is also stealing your job.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Don’t give up, we must remain silly.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Babe, are you ok? You’ve barely talked about the horrors of being alive.

Carefully choosing which wine to pair with a McRib.

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Carefully choosing which wine to pair with a McRib.
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Commentary:
"When you're deciding between a fine Merlot or a rare 'McRib Red' for that gourmet experience! 🍷🤔🍔"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on TikTok this month:

I think I’ma end the year with a plot twist, everyone hold on tight.

32 shares on Messenger this month:

Diet tip: Your pants can’t get too tight if you never wear any.

16 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I still get so surprised every time someone I find attractive finds me attractive. Like, are you sure?

38 shares on Reddit this month:

You don’t have to write every day to be a writer! You just have to feel guilty every day that you don’t.

100 shares on Telegram this month:

There is a reason I’m single and it’s called my face.

66 shares on Slack this month:

(to my executioner) I wish we had met before this. You seem cool.

44 shares on Twitch this month:

My fantasy is having two men at once. One cooking, one cleaning.

71 shares on Reddit this month:

To be gentle in this world is an act of rebellion.

20 shares on WeChat this month:

My favorite part about health insurance is how your teeth and eyeballs are add-ons.

47 shares on Threads this month:

One day we will tell our grandkids how far we had to scroll to get to the recipe.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so introverted, I only listen to house music.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m writing a parenting book called ‘Kids won’t listen until you scream like your mother did’.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure!

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Some of you aren’t reading the room. Not even listening to the room on audiobook.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Your girlfriend needs two hours to get ready. But if you don’t have your shoes on when she’s ready, you’re the problem.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I want to sleep but my brain won’t stop talking to itself.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I like to stay grounded by keeping the weight of the world on my shoulders.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Hyphenated. Non-hyphenated. The irony.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Cashier: Did you find everything? Me: Did you hide something?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I lied, there’s no sex. Can you tell me a bedtime story?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,670

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Spotify Wrapped? Next year, maybe you should try to be in the top .05% of listeners to your girlfriend.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Tired of my landlord depending on my rent. Bro, get a job.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Siblings are proof you can love someone and also dislike them at the same time.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Never say never. Unless someone asks you when you want to go camping. Then the right answer is always “Never.”

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

There should be guide dogs that prevent you from making bad decisions.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Why do men always think “looking for fun” means sex? Wat if I want us to draw?

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Narcissus fell in love with his own image, but was immediately annoyed at how it always tried to talk while he was talking.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

“Why are you so quiet?” Because I’m barely even here.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

The first people who called chocolate a vegetable are the real heroes.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Threads:

Of course your crush is going to leave their spouse for you. That’s how delusions work.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

The way Christmas shopping expects me to have money right now is, honestly, disrespectful.

Just landed via Reddit:

My favorite delusion is that I just need to get through this week.

Spotted on Instagram:

I used to party all night. Now I check the weather forecast for the next day to see if it’s a good laundry day.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I need to hire someone to just constantly slap food out of my hand.

Shared recently on Slack:

You don’t have to write every day to be a writer! You just have to feel guilty every day that you don’t.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Have you tried just not thinking about it? Like, ever again?

Just shared via Reddit:

Gonna waterboard my houseplants so they know who’s the boss.

Live now on YouTube:

Life is like bread. It gets hard at some point.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies. She is not “fun to be around”.

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