Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Be careful when you follow the masses sometimes the M is silent.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

I haven’t lost my virginity because I never lose.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

The final act of love is not texting them happy birthday.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Ever since I was young, I knew I wanted to be online nonstop.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Nothing makes you regret an outfit choice faster than when you see teens looking at you and whispering.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

That “meeting canceled” ping is a gift from the Gods.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Whenever I’m willing to sell my soul, there’s usually food involved.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Ever look at someone and think you could spend the rest of your life saying “What?” to this person?

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

No one suddenly needs anything more than a kid whose mom has just sat down and gotten comfortable.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

I know some people don’t like me, but what can I do, not everyone has good taste.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

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15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,314

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I respect perfume commercials being like we can’t show you a smell mind if we just go insane for 30 seconds.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Why do guys named Timothy go by Tim when they could go by Moth?

Spotted on Twitch:

All soups are gazpacho if you’re lazy enough.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I’m sick of blessings in disguise. I am ready for a blessing with absolutely no disguise whatsoever.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

If life was a video game, right now would be the time where I randomly press buttons because I don’t know what to do.

Just landed via Snapchat:

“This is a great weekend to clean out the garage,” according to my wife and other people who won’t be cleaning the garage.

Trending via Telegram:

I love sleeping in fishnets. Makes you feel like a big honey roast ham.

Just landed via TikTok:

The idea that wisdom teeth are just some random glitch that God forgot to patch, so now we have to pull them out with modern technology, is retarded.

Live now on Snapchat:

I love when people say, “It is what it is,” like they just discovered stoicism.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I bought a bag of M&M’s and they don’t have M’s anymore. They all have W’s, for woke.

Do you think working at Pizza Hut would help you get a job at Sunglass Hut? You know, with all that hut experience?

2 months ago

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Commentary:
Applying all my hut skills to become the ultimate Hut Manager! 🍕🕶️🏕️

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Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on TikTok this month:

If you ever find yourself as a houseguest for an extended period of time, here is the golden rule for success: invisible by day, charming by night.

79 shares on Slack this month:

Jehovah’s Witnesses tell the worst knock knock jokes.

90 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Here’s your daily reminder to not forget about Dre.

98 shares on Messenger this month:

Quickie so fast, it’s called secs.

83 shares on Snapchat this month:

Life is hard. It is harder if you are stupid.

25 shares on TikTok this month:

When someone is in a Christmas eve panic, I always find that “well, maybe you should have thought of that sooner” is a helpful phrase.

24 shares on WeChat this month:

I tried being the bigger person but all it got me was type 2 diabetes.

45 shares on Reddit this month:

Pool rules: You’re not allowed to do anything that begins with the words ‘Hey everyone watch this!’

24 shares on Instagram this month:

They should invent a DoorDash but for a kiss goodnight and getting tucked in.

93 shares on Slack this month:

Being single is better than asking a man to act like a man.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Confucius says: “Those who drink a lot die earlier, but have seen twice as much in life.”

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

When you’re a child, you want to be a teenager. When you’re a teenager, you want to be an adult. When you’re an adult, you want to be a cat.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

And then I thought to myself, “What’s the point of cleaning if my family is going to keep living here?”

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Sundays are weird. You want to relax, but your brain’s like, “Shouldn’t you be panicking about something?”

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Had the bed all to myself last night, so you know what that means… I slept in a slightly different spot, and now my neck feels weird.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Is there a word for FOMO but it’s already happened and you didn’t know about it when it was happening?

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Unfortunately, I don’t give ugly men a chance, because they wouldn’t give me one if I were the ugly one.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Toilets are not a crime scene, traces may be removed!

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Imagine falling in love and then finding out that they put antlers on their car for the holidays.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Hey, if the Earth could stop air frying me, that’d be great.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Reddit:

I’m very strong, but not in a get a jar open kinda way.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

So, if you are too tired to speak, sit next to me, because I am fluent in silence.

Trending via Twitch:

On the whole, people are getting smarter. I remember when they had to put “The End” on the screen, so people would know the movie was over.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Telling the guy next to me on the subway that I’m not even ticklish, so don’t bother trying.

Live now on X:

Go ahead and use that semi-colon; no one will know you’re doing it wrong.

Making waves on X:

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

If my cats are going to insist upon me getting up early, they’re going to have to learn how to make coffee.

Trending via WhatsApp:

People who get 0-5 likes at max and still tweet all the time… What’s your secret?

Breaking via Instagram:

Nothing more humiliating than sending a text message with a picture and the picture doesn’t send for ages and now you’ve said something sooo odd out of context.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Do you think working at Pizza Hut would help you get a job at Sunglass Hut? You know, with all that hut experience?

Nothing is riskier than closing your eyes again in the morning for that extra minute of sleep.

Do men know they don’t have to date if they’re not over their ex?

Anytime a guy says “that’s what she said” always reply with “yeah, but not to you”.

Sorry for how I acted when there were multiple noises happening at the same time.

I’m still annoyed that you can catch Covid more than once. I can’t explain why, but it feels kind of rude.

It is kind of inspiring that I messed up my life without drugs, gambling or a troubled youth. People really can do anything.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Do you think working at Pizza Hut would help you get a job at Sunglass Hut? You know, with all that hut experience?

Keep the laugh going 😂

Nothing is riskier than closing your eyes again in the morning for that extra minute of sleep.

Do men know they don’t have to date if they’re not over their ex?

Anytime a guy says “that’s what she said” always reply with “yeah, but not to you”.

Sorry for how I acted when there were multiple noises happening at the same time.

I’m still annoyed that you can catch Covid more than once. I can’t explain why, but it feels kind of rude.

It is kind of inspiring that I messed up my life without drugs, gambling or a troubled youth. People really can do anything.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨