Funny assume quotes

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  3 weeks ago

  Share →: I assume my soulmate has sold his soul to the devil.

  Commentary:
  "Well, at least he's got a hot property deal! 🔥😈💸"

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  2 months ago

  Share →: People who shower at night are bold enough to assume tomorrow’s even happening.

  Commentary:
  "Showering at night: the ultimate act of optimism or pure brilliance? 🌙✨ Who needs the certainty of tomorrow when you can bathe in the mystery of tonight? 🚿😂 Stay bold, my nocturnal beauties! 🌃💫"

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  2 months ago

  Share →: I assume fish have beautiful names for eachother, unpronounceable by human tongues.

  Commentary:
  "Imagine trying to pronounce a fish's name and ending up sounding like a gurgling aquarium filter 🐠🗣️. I bet they have the fanciest underwater monikers like Glubbertonix or Finnevere! 🌊😂"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: At this point, if you buy Tesla, everyone is just going to assume you are a loser.

  Commentary:
  "Buying Tesla now is like showing up to a party wearing a fanny pack – bold move, but risky in the coolness department. 🤷‍♂️🚗 #RiskVsReward"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Brave of you to assume you can resist my good looks.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, confidence level: expert! 💁‍♂️🔥 Good looks are like a magnetic force field, resistance is futile! 😂 #ConfidenceGoals"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: If you wear enough cardigans, people will assume you’re smart and you can stop reading entirely.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the magic of cardigans – the ultimate disguise for looking smart with minimal effort 🧐🎩 Who needs books when you've got a wardrobe full of cardies? 📚🚫 #FashionableGenius"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I don’t assume anything except the fetal position.

  Commentary:
  "Well, at least this person has mastered one specific assumption 🤷‍♂️ Seems like the fetal position is their go-to move for any situation – who needs assumptions when you can just curl up into a ball and hope for the best? 🤣 #FetalPositionIsLife"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I start each day assuming it will be horrible and go from there.

  Commentary:
  "Starting the day with low expectations is a bold move, like playing the 'worst-case scenario' game on expert mode! 🙈 But hey, at least you can only go up from there, right? Maybe today will surprise you with a sprinkle of unicorns and rainbows! 🌈🦄"

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