Commentary:
Unlocking my inner five-year-old… just need to find my superhero cape and a lifetime supply of cookies! 🍪🦸♂️✨
361 Funny back quotes
Dating again after you break up with a long-term partner is like dying in a video game and ending up back at the start to do it all again, except with less health.
Commentary:
Respawning in the dating game with less health and no cheat codes! 🎮❤️🩹✨
My favorite part of adulting is borrowing money from myself and paying myself back.
Commentary:
That moment when I'm both the bank and the broke customer 😅💸🤔
The walk of shame, except it’s me at a bowling alley walking back to sit down after I knock down zero pins with bumpers.
Commentary:
When the bumpers side with the pins against you… 🎳😅 #BowlingFails
Wait… if you’re circling back and I’m touching base, who the hell is monitoring the situation?
Commentary:
Looks like our situation needs a traffic cop! 🚦😂🕵️♂️
I am “We read the newspaper front to back every single day,” years old.
Commentary:
So you're at the age where knowing tomorrow's weather is more exciting than tomorrow's party forecast? 🌦️📰😂
Cats love to wake you up and go back to sleep. It’s part of their culture.
Commentary:
I'm convinced cats have an alarm clock labeled "human disturbance" ⏰😹🐾
Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?
Commentary:
Getting that spark back hits different! 🔥✨ Depression: 0, Me: 1! 😎✌️
I need to go back to Friday. I want to do my weekend differently.
Commentary:
Time travel to Friday: where my weekend choices can't roast me! 😂🔄⏳
Dating these days is like trusting a crackhead to come back with your change.
Commentary:
When your date asks if you want to split the bill, just remember: trust is in the air… or is that just broken promises? 🤔💸😂