Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: Ninety percent of my new follows are beautiful women, which tells me one thing: I’ve still got it!

Commentary:
"Looks like your DMs are going to be 90% more interesting now! 😉🔥 Keep slaying, influencer extraordinaire! 💁‍♂️💃 #StillGotIt"
6 months ago
Share →: Because it is Friday, I will allow one beautiful woman to invite me for drinks.

Commentary:
"Ah, the power of Fridays – turning a casual drink invitation into a grand, generous gesture 😄🍸 One lucky lady gets the honor of buying the drinks today! Cheers to the weekend shenanigans and unexpected invitations!"
6 months ago
Share →: Sleep is a beautiful thing. You don’t miss anyone, you can’t do anything wrong and you simply feel nothing.

Commentary:
"Ah, sleep – the ultimate escape from adulting responsibilities! 😴 No missed calls, no awkward conversations, just pure blissful nothingness. Who needs therapy when you have a comfy bed, am I right? 🛌💤"
6 months ago
Share →: Let’s take a family trip in this beautiful weather so the kids can complain about family, trips, and beautiful weather that has no wifi.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic family trip experience: where the kids are united in their love for complaining! 🌞🚗👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 Who needs wifi when you have the ultimate entertainment of sibling squabbles and parental eye-rolls? 😂 #FamilyBonding"
6 months ago
Share →: 80 years ago we would have all been institutionalized and I think that’s beautiful.

Commentary:
"Imagine a world where being weird, quirky, or just plain odd was not embraced but institutionalized instead… 🤪 Thank goodness for progress, right? Embrace your uniqueness, you magnificent misfit! 🌟🤣"
6 months ago
Share →: Women in movies look so beautiful when they sleep. Meanwhile, I’m tossing and turning all night like a forgotten 7-Eleven hot dog.

Commentary:
"Watching women in movies sleep so peacefully is like a dream…while I'm over here resembling a forgotten 7-Eleven hot dog rolling around in my blankets! 🌭😴 #SleepGoalsVersusReality"
6 months ago
Share →: I toss and turn in bed all night like a beautiful rotisserie chicken.

Commentary:
"Who needs beauty sleep when you can have a golden, aromatic glow instead? 🍗✨ Sweet dreams, delicious rotisserie chicken! Just make sure not to overcook yourself 😉🔥"
6 months ago
Share →: If you like pointing out beautiful scenery to three people who are on their phones, a family road trip is for you.

Commentary:
"Embark on a family road trip for an exhilarating adventure of scenic views and screen-time defense tactics! 🚗📱👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 Sit back, relax, and enjoy the beauty of nature while dodging distracted gazes. It's a game of 'Spot the Scenery!' 🌿📵 #FamilyRoadTripFun"
6 months ago
Share →: Frodo is a beautiful name for a boy. Has a ring to it.

Commentary:
"Frodo is indeed a precious name for any hobbit…oops, we mean boy! It definitely rings a bell! 🔔 Just be careful, though…we hope there aren't any mysterious rings involved! 💍😄"
6 months ago
Share →: I’m looking for friends with benefits. And by that I mean friends who have pools, boats and beautiful vacation homes.

Commentary:
"Well, who doesn't want friends with benefits? Just make sure those benefits also come with a view! 🌊🚤🏝️ #FriendshipGoals #LivingTheGoodLife"