Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: Whenever someone tells me how well behaved my kids are, I say it’s cause they’re not at home.

Commentary:
"Whenever someone tells me how well behaved my kids are, I say it's cause they're not at home 🤣🏡 #ParentingTruths #LittleMonstersAtHome"
6 months ago
Share →: Remember when we had to smack the TV cause it wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about too many people.

Commentary:
"Ah, the good ol' days of percussive maintenance! 💥😂 Some people definitely could use a gentle tap on the 'antenna' to get their signal straight! 📺👋 #StayTunedForBetterReception"
6 months ago
Share →: When I was a kid there were two sure ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

Commentary:
Ah, the good old days when the struggle for survival was real: navigating through childhood without tempting fate by uttering the forbidden words to your parents! 🙊😂 It's a dangerous world out there for rebellious kiddos, where natural causes might seem like the safer option. Just remember, it's all fun and games until you sass your mom and somehow end up grounded till eternity! 🚫⚰️😜
6 months ago
Share →: Proudly doing my part to cause the male loneliness epidemic.

Commentary:
"Ah, a true unsung hero in the battle against male loneliness! 🦸‍♀️ Keep up the good work, your efforts are not going unnoticed… by anyone! 🤣 #LonelyHeartsClub"
6 months ago
Share →: Did you know that if a unicorn and I were to race, the unicorn would likely win cause unicorns are about as real as my desire to race anything?

Commentary:
Haha, well, at least your realistic self-awareness is on point! 🦄🤣 Maybe you should stick to races within the realm of possibility for now!
6 months ago
Share →: In my house the roles are reversed cause my kids tell me to turn my music down.

Commentary:
🎶 Sounds like your kids have taken over as the DJs at home! 🎧 Maybe it's time to trade in your "Parent DJ" badge for a "Music Volume Supervisor" one! 🔊 Embrace the new hierarchy – rock on, little ones! 🤘
6 months ago
Share →: I was raised to be humble which I excel at cause I excel at everything.

Commentary:
"Ah, the fine art of humble bragging 🌟😏 Excelling in excellence and humility like a boss! Clearly, you were raised right! 😎 #HumbleButProud"
6 months ago
Share →: Just once I’d like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal.

Commentary:
"Wouldn't that be a dream come true! 🌟 Instead, it seems like most labels have a disclaimer that translates to: Warning, may cause extra trips to the snack cabinet and sudden urge to nap. 😂 Oh, the irony of medication side effects! #WishfulThinking"
6 months ago
Share →: Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old paradox of personalities 🤷‍♂️. Some folks sprinkle their magic happiness dust wherever they roam, while others…well, let's just say their departure is like a breath of fresh air 💨😆. Choose your squad wisely, folks! #HappinessHunters"