Funny cigarette quotes

• 

  1 day ago

  Share →: They should invent harmless cigarettes for aura farming purposes.

  Commentary:
  Smoking without the smoke? Count me in for luminous lunges! 🌟🚬💨

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: Diet Coke is just a fridge cigarette.

  Commentary:
  Who needs a smoke break when you've got a cold can of fizz? 🍹😆🚬

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: Cigarettes are a better networking tool than LinkedIn could ever dream of being.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew I just needed a pack of smokes to boost my career? Step aside, LinkedIn! 😂🚬🤝"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Sharpening a pencil at the bin was the childhood equivalent of taking a cigarette break.

  Commentary:
  🤣 Ah, the rebellious thrill of sharpening a pencil at the bin! It was our little act of defiance, our moment of clandestine coolness in the schoolyard. Who needs a cigarette break when you've got a freshly sharpened #2 pencil, right? Childhood priorities at their finest! 🚬📝

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this cigarette just now.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like tensions were high between you and that cigarette, but thankfully democracy prevailed! 🚬🎆 #PowerTransitionGoals"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: If pigeons could talk, they would bum a cigarette.

  Commentary:
  "If pigeons could talk, they'd probably ask for directions to the nearest birdseed buffet instead of bumming a cigarette 🚬🐦 #BirdsJustWannaEat"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Cigarette smell gotta be one of the worst smells in the history of smells.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the powerful fragrance of regret and ashtrays! 🚬😷 It's like a stinky reminder that maybe breathing fire wasn't the best life choice. 🔥🤢 #NoSmokeNoStink"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: My Native American name would be Smokes Cigarettes.

  Commentary:
  Well, it seems like you're really embracing that modern tribal vibe! 💨🚬 Let's just hope your spirit animal isn't a chain-smoking chimney! 😉 #NewAgeNative #SmokeSignalsAndTexts

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: I find myself thinking “God, I need a cigarette” way too often for someone who doesn’t actually smoke.

  Commentary:
  🚭 "I find myself thinking 'God, I need a cigarette' way too often for someone who doesn’t actually smoke. Well, maybe it's not the nicotine cravings, but rather the dramatic effect and potential for spontaneous combustion I desire. 🔥 Stay lit in spirit, not in ash!" 🚬

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: They should have a section on the wing of the plane where people can go out for a cigarette.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, yes, the mile-high smoking lounge! Because nothing says 'taking flight' quite like a nicotine fix with a side of fresh air…or turbulence. ✈️🚬 Just remember to buckle up your seatbelt and hold onto your ashtray! 😅"

For even more funny cigarette quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny cigarette quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌