209 Funny daily quotes

• “You should exercise for at least 30 minutes every day”. Okay, and how much if you’re not trying to go to the Olympics?

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  3 weeks ago

  30, activity, daily, daily routine, day, every, exercise, fitness, humor, least, minutes, motivation, much, okay, Olympics, routine, sarcasm, should, trying

• The 5 seconds in the morning, when I don’t yet know who I am, is the best time of the day.

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  3 weeks ago

  am, best, best moment, daily, daily routine, day, humor, i, identity, know, moment, morning, routine, self-discovery, time

• Every morning when that damn alarm clock goes off, I just feel it so much: A million-dollar inheritance suits me much better than an office job.

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  3 weeks ago

  alarm, alarm clock, better, clock, daily, daily struggle, every, feel, humor, i, inheritance, job, just, life, me, morning, morning routine, much, office, office job, procrastination, routine, struggle, work, work life

• The adult version of “head, shoulders, knees and toes” is “wallet, glasses, keys and phone.”

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  3 weeks ago

  adult, daily, daily life, glasses, head, humor, keys, knees, life, phone, priorities, responsibility, version, wallet

• Home is where you’ve left the shopping list.

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  3 weeks ago

  daily, daily life, forgetfulness, home, humor, left, life, list, shopping, where

• I’m basically a taxi today for the kids and dogs.

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  3 weeks ago

  daily, daily life, dog, dogs, family, humor, kids, life, parenting, taxi, today, transportation

• A garlic a day keeps the doctor away.

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  3 weeks ago

  away, daily, daily routine, day, doctor, food, garlic, health, humor, routine, wellness

• Petition to allow customer service employees to fight at least one customer per day.

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  3 weeks ago

  customer, customer service, daily, daily struggle, day, employees, fight, humor, petition, service, struggle, workplace

• I hate when my kids ask me impossible questions like: What day is it?

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  3 weeks ago

  daily, daily life, date, day, frustration, hate, humor, i, impossibility, impossible, kids, life, me, parenting, questions

• Drinking 3L of water daily helps you avoid other people’s drama because you’re too busy peeing. Stay hydrated.

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  3 weeks ago

  avoid, busy, daily, daily routine, drama, drinking, health, humor, hydrated, hydration, pee, peeing, routine, stay, too, water

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