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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

The lion doesn’t concern himself with credit card debt.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

I miss having that butterfly feeling. People give me roach vibes at this point.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Before the internet, going viral meant your drawing made it to the fridge, and your sibling was furious.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

I’m rearranging the kitchen which is devastating for my husband because now suddenly he remembers where everything used to be.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

April Fool’s next week and still no one has asked me to be their fool.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Daffodil totally sounds like an insult, you blooming daffodil.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Spices were first brought to Western Europe in the Middle Ages. Some of them are still at the back of my cupboard.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

The human brain is amazing. It functions 24/7 from the day we’re born and only stops when you’re taking a test or speaking to someone attractive.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

If you send a man to war today, he’s gonna go there and take dark exposure aesthetic pics.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Hey there, Delilah, we know you broke that dude’s heart.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,321

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

If you ever feel like something’s missing in your life, it’s probably me.

Just shared via YouTube:

Outlook just asked me if I’m “enjoying” Microsoft Outlook. As if it’s not the Torment Portal.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Show me another rule so I can break that one too.

Shared recently on TikTok:

“I’m going to get more sleep tonight” is always the first lie I tell myself in the morning.

Breaking via X:

My grandfather tried to warn them about the Titanic. He screamed and shouted about the iceberg and how the ship was going to sink, but all they did was throw him out of the theater.

Making waves on Twitch:

Scams used to be like “free money!” and now they’re like “hello, we have a job for you”, which seems to be a bad sign.

Going bananas on Threads:

Foot fetish should just be called feetish.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Ever since I turned 20, someone is always in Japan or Italy. Is it like this forever?

Just landed via WeChat:

The smarter you are, the more important it is for you to figure out how to think less.

Going viral on Threads:

With me, it isn’t Netflix & chill. It’s Prime & panic.

508 Funny dating quotes

More funny dating quotes 👇

Hey Grok, scan through all my mutuals and find me a girlfriend, thanks!

3 weeks ago

dating, girlfriend, grok, humor, me, mutual, network, relationship, scan, social, social network, technology, thanks, through
Only here for the honeymoon phase, don’t show me your true colors.

3 weeks ago

color, colors, dating, here, honesty, honeymoon, honeymoon phase, humor, me, only, phase, relationship, sarcasm, show, true, true color
Deleting dating apps to meet someone the old-fashioned way (in the HR department).

3 weeks ago

app, apps, date, dating, dating app, delete, deleting, department, hr, HR department, humor, meet, old fashioned, relationship, someone, workplace
I’ve been closer to death than a stable relationship.

3 weeks ago

closer, dating, death, humor, love, relationship, sarcasm, stable
Once I matched with a guy and ended up finding out he lived in my neighborhood, so I told him to go outside and scream, and he did. And I heard it.

3 weeks ago

dating, finding, funny story, guy, humor, i, interaction, lived, match, neighbor, neighborhood, once, outside, scream, social, social interaction, story, told
I have high standards for dating because I’m a high-quality woman, and you wouldn’t want me any other way.

3 weeks ago

confidence, dating, high, high-quality, humor, i, me, relationship, standard, standards, want, woman
Jane Austen gave us men who crossed fields in the rain. Mine left me on read, and liked someone else’s story.

3 weeks ago

austen, dating, ghosting, humor, jane, Jane Austen, left, left on read, man, me, media, men, mine, rain, read, relationship, social, social media, someone, story, us
Seems like the mosquitoes swiped right on me.

3 weeks ago

bite, dating, humor, insect, joke, match, me, mosquito, right, seems, swipe

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All funny dating quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on Reddit this month:

If you saw me licking the plate after the charcuterie was finished, no you didn’t.

43 shares on YouTube this month:

Everybody in the world, stop fighting or no dessert.

75 shares on Twitch this month:

My two moods are eating a breakfast sandwich or wishing I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

70 shares on Twitch this month:

Yes, liquor store clerk, I do need help. But I decided to come here instead.

60 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My mom asked me to hand out invitations for my brother’s surprise birthday party, and that’s when I realized he was the favorite twin.

87 shares on YouTube this month:

Sorry for my bad behavior. Mercury is in gatorade or whatever.

32 shares on YouTube this month:

Someone asked me if I had any hobbies and I panicked and said “lasagna”.

46 shares on Discord this month:

Think that’s enough todaying for today.

55 shares on X this month:

Oops, I think I’ve had a little too much to think.

29 shares on Discord this month:

Pretty cool that we all come together on Christmas and celebrate the birth of Santa.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

I hope Instagram is still active during the apocalypse, so the zombies can post pics of whose brains they’re currently eating.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

How can people lift weights? My arms get tired just by putting my hair up in a ponytail.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Turns out that ending meetings with “have the day you deserve” has made me some enemies at work.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

If I’m wrongly accused of a crime, I’m going to prison. I’m way too introverted to have an alibi.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

My neighbors listen to really good music, whether they like it or not.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Tom and Jerry fooled me into thinking dogs bullied cats when it’s the opposite in reality.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

We all need to put the phone down, or it’s over for civilization.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

The whole “read before you go to bed to get sleepy” thing does not apply to me because I will be up till 5 a.m. if the book is worth it.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Sick and tired of these 30 mins weekends.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

My résumé is really just a list of things I hope I never have to do again.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on X:

Your nose is in the middle of your face because it is the scenter.

Going viral on Discord:

If I say, “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared peer-reviewed research, data, and charts, and I will destroy you.

Trending via Slack:

I prefer to use deodorant immediately after shaving my armpits so that I can feel that I’m still alive.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Sometimes I say something so embarrassing I even impress myself.

Making waves on TikTok:

When my friends are religious, I pretend not to notice.

Just shared via Reddit:

Some people get a bit strange as they get older. Not me. I’ve always been like that!

Going viral on WhatsApp:

My keys fell in the snow, and now they’re gone forever — time to start a new life under a new name in a warmer climate.

Making waves on Slack:

They hooked up tubes and sensors, but the doctor still can’t figure out why my kisses are so sweet. They want to hold me overnight and “never let go.”

Just shared via Discord:

I don’t get involved in anyone’s business, let alone their drama. You should try it.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Technically I’m still young, but according to my back pain I’m actually 69.

Activity Log ✨

508 Funny dating quotes

More funny dating quotes 👇

All funny dating quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨