615 Funny day quotes

• If every day is a gift, today is socks.

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  6 days ago

  daily, daily life, day, every, everyday, gift, humor, humor quote, life, sarcasm, socks, today

• I could put my keys in the same spot every day, but why deprive myself of a treasure hunt that makes me late.

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  6 days ago

  activity, daily, daily routine, day, every, forgetfulness, fun, fun activity, humor, hunt, i, keys, late, me, myself, procrastination, punctuality, put, routine, same, spot, treasure, treasure hunt, why

• I wish every day had 30,000 hours, and that I had unlimited Adderall and was unemployed.

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  6 days ago

  Adderall, ADHD, day, drug, drug humor, every, exaggeration, extension, fantasy, hours, humor, i, productivity, thinking, time, time extension, unemployed, unemployment, wish, wishful, wishful thinking

• Due to unforeseen circumstances, I will be acting weird today.

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  6 days ago

  acting, acting weird, circumstances, day, due, humor, humorist, i, quirky, today, unexpected, unforeseen, unforeseen circumstances, weird

• Just saw a piece of jewelry made in the 80s described as “vintage,” so I’ll be laying down the rest of the day.

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  6 days ago

  80s, day, humor, jewelry, just, laying, piece, rest, sarcasm, saw, vintage

• Sleep well, middle finger—you’ve got a big day ahead of you tomorrow.

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  6 days ago

  ahead, attitude, big, cheeky, day, got, humor, middle, morning, motivation, sarcasm, sarcasm humor, sleep, tomorrow, well

• This body is a temple; I suicide bomb every day.

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  6 days ago

  body, bomb, daily, daily routine, dark, dark humor, day, every, exaggeration, humor, i, irony, routine, self-deprecation, suicide, suicide bomb, temple

• The day they handed out patience, I left because it was taking too long.

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  6 days ago

  day, frustration, handed, humor, i, impatience, joke, left, patience, sarcasm, taking, too, waiting

• Another beautiful day, ruined by responsibility.

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  6 days ago

  another, beautiful, beautiful day, daily, daily life, day, humor, irony, life, procrastination, responsibility, ruined, stress, work

• Life hack: Allow yourself 8–12 hours of alone time every morning to prepare for the day.

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  6 days ago

  alone, alone time, day, every, hack, hours, humor, life, life hack, morning, morning routine, preparation, prepare, routine, self-care, time, yourself

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