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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

As a man, it’s my job to mistake kindness for flirting.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Aliens will always remain unidentified because they’re embarrassed to be associated with us humans.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Long sandwiches should have suitcase handles.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

My tombstone will read “Hey there, I’m using WhatsApp!”.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Getting a nose ring, so I don’t lose my keys.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

When pregnant women are around, watch what you say. Nowadays, anything will be used as a name.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

People are too judgmental these days… I can tell just by looking at them.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Life is just a sequence of missed opportunities.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Why do fish stink so much even though they bathe their whole lives?

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Drilling for oil is well boring.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1878 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,040

Funny Quotes Topics

14,825

Funny Quotes Images

12,040

Updated

5 minutes ago

Users Online

3,450

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

Dear Aliens, Now would be a good time. Thanks!

Seen just now on X:

When they make a Hate Island, somebody link me.

Making waves on Telegram:

How many sit-ups do I have to do before I get a six-pack? Please say 5.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

My taste in music ranges from “You’ve gotta listen to this” to “I know, please don’t judge me.”

Shared recently on Instagram:

Going to bed early is easy, going to sleep early is a whole other set of problems.

Just landed via Threads:

ALF is what happens when you are high on drugs in the 80s.

Making waves on Twitch:

No thank you, I only like men who have no interest in me.

Shared recently on X:

I have found that there is usually a lot of day left at the end of my patience.

Trending via Instagram:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the first twelve digits of pi.

Just landed via Facebook:

I hope this email keeps you awake at night.

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12 Funny detox quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1878 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,040

Funny Quotes Topics

14,825

Funny Quotes Images

12,040

Updated

5 minutes ago

Users Online

3,434

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

I was walking near a construction site today and heard the foreman yell, “You’re doing a good job!” I know that was meant for me.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

One thing no one mentions about being an adult is how much time you debate with yourself over keeping a cardboard box because it’s a really good box.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

If anyone wants to contact me, from now on I can only be reached via my bank account.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

“You smell so good!” Okay, so kiss me.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

If food delivery apps had never been invented, I would either be wildly rich or dead.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

God: “I don’t regret the Flood, but I do regret the Ark.”

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Twitter is great because you can get good life advice from other emotionally unstable adults.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I worry that avoiding all human interaction isn’t a real hobby.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Whoever allowed me to become an adult needs to be fired.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Grandmas be like: Imma stay for a few days and reset your children back to factory settings.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

After you do your laundry, you should be allowed to get in the dryer and tumble for a little. No charge.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Guns N’ Roses: “Welcome to the jungle!” The jungle: “No more humans, please!”

Just shared via Twitch:

Is ice cream for dinner a thing, because ice cream for dinner should be be a thing.

Freshly posted on X:

I told a joke to my boss, and he must have found it really funny because now I get to tell it to HR.

Just landed via Discord:

What is that job called where you put the little stickers on fruit? I think I would be good at that.

Trending via Messenger:

There should be a good 10 hours in between waking up and having to interact with people.

Reported on Messenger:

The sexual tension between my tendency to do something stupid and my resolve not to.

Making waves on Slack:

Sorry, I can’t come. I’m still recovering from the last time I went out.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I am on a diet where you just speak Italian: “Pasta,” “Pizza,” and “I’m leaving Rooma for dessert.”

Going viral on WeChat:

The word “ugly” cannot be used on women, I’m sorry. Women just can’t be ugly, that’s a boy thing.

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