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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

I don’t like to call it a xenomorph — I prefer the term “the alien from Alien.”

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Checked myself, but unfortunately, after I wrecked myself.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Don’t go chasing waterfalls? The place where many video games hide easter eggs and other rare items?

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

My account is fake, I’m actually your probation officer.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

4 out 3 people struggle with math.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Why is there a level 6 for toasters? As if someone thinks: “Tonight I’m really in the mood for ashes with butter!”

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

King Kong should’ve been able to find a better place to hide than the top of the tallest building in the middle of New York City.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Apparently the term for migraine-sufferer is ‘migraneur.’ Nice getting recognition as a kind of artisan of suffering.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

At my age, I’m more frightened of a hip break than a heartbreak.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Any cults got something wild planned anytime soon? I’m trying to find the good estate sales.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

791 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,953

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,953

16 seconds ago

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WhatsApp:

I’m no Hobbit, but I do often walk blindly into some rather dodgy situations.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Don’t give up on your dreams. Go back to bed.

Reported on Twitch:

I need a job where I don’t actually have to work.

Making waves on Slack:

I’m soirée for my mispronunciation of French words.

Just shared via Slack:

My new pajamas have no pockets. I don’t want to hear your problems.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Sitting next to you on an empty train and clicking my stopwatch every time you turn a page in your book.

Reported on WeChat:

Hotel towels are always the worst. So thick and fluffy that I can’t even close my suitcase.

Trending via YouTube:

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Just landed via Telegram:

When I was a kid there were two sure ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

Seen just now on Twitch:

“Likes your story” is a declaration of love.

Home » Funny Drunk Text Quotes

Funny drunk text quotes

New funny drunk text quotes 👇

2 months ago
Share →: Everyone wants a drunk text until I’m doing it at noon.

Commentary:
"Who knew 'brunch' was short for 'beware of surprise texts'? 🥂📱🤣"
2 months ago
Share →: Just drafted the drunk text I’m going to send after one drink this weekend.

Commentary:
"When you're so prepared, even your texts have a flight plan! ✈️📲😂"
6 months ago
Share →: How can you not appreciate a drunk text? Someone is absolutely off their face and still thinking of you.

Commentary:
"Receiving a drunk text is like being chosen as the VIP in someone's intoxicated adventure 🍻📱💬 #PrioritiesInCheck"
6 months ago
Share →: I’m so single, I have no one to drunk text.

Commentary:
"I'm so single, even my phone's predictive text gives up on me before I can send any drunk texts 📵🥂 #HopelessRomantic"

For even more funny drunk text quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny drunk text quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

791 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,953

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,953

16 seconds ago

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Thinking the bodega owner likes you is exactly the same as thinking the stripper likes you.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

A sandwich has the power to change your entire life.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Still can’t believe we have a federal holiday to celebrate the 1996 hit movie Independence Day.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Maybe your soulmate’s just late, like, wildly behind schedule.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Best threesome: me, my bed and my pillow.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

All billionaires must submit a list of five things they did for society in the last week or their wealth shall be confiscated.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Nobody shoots annoying people into the sun anymore and that’s why there are so many of them left on earth.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

I plan the silliest murders in my dreams because all I have to do to get away with it is wake up.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Using a condom and still pulling out, call that two-factor authentication.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

Don’t let me drive if you’re gonna scream every time we almost die.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Welcome to your 40s: here’s an extra chin.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I only have one wish in life… For all my dreams to come true.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I’m perfectly approachable as long as you’re carrying a plate of nachos.

Freshly posted on X:

Caught my husband staring at me again. He’s probably weighing his pros and cons.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Just got hired at Five Guys as the guy who punches the burger before they put it in the bag.

Reported on Instagram:

I think humans are meant to lay in bed with the love of their life all winter.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Don’t tell me about Stockholm Syndrome, I woke up at 6 AM on my first day of vacation wondering how things were going at work.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Do you also have teenagers whose styling motto is: freeze to death for coolness?

Trending via X:

Girl, if the moon can block the sun, then you can definitely block your ex.

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