32 Funny exactly quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: First date idea: unlock and switch phones with the other person for exactly two minutes and if no one is horrified then the date continues.

  Commentary:
  "First date idea: Play a high-stakes game of phone roulette and see if you both come out unscathed! 📱😅 Just make sure to delete those embarrassing selfies beforehand! 💃🕺 #ModernRomance"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Can you delete that photo of me? It looks exactly the way I look in real life.

  Commentary:
  "Sure thing! Who knew reality could be so… well, real? 😅📸 #KeepingItReal #UnfilteredBeauty"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Washing mushrooms is the quickest way to figure out exactly how much dirt you’re okay with eating.

  Commentary:
  "Because who doesn't love a little extra crunch in their diet for that added 'earthy' flavor? 🍄😂 Just remember, a little dirt won't hurt… hopefully! 😉 #DirtLoversUnite"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I need one of those jobs they have in sitcoms, where it pays my rent but interferes with exactly zero of my social plans or situations.

  Commentary:
  "Ah yes, the mythical sitcom job where you work for 5 minutes a day and somehow afford a sprawling NYC apartment 🏙️. If only life imitated TV more often! 📺💸 #LivingTheDream"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Not sure if “life hack” exactly, but I fell down the stairs and now my whole family is being so nice and catering to my needs.

  Commentary:
  Looks like falling down the stairs was the secret to getting the royal treatment at home 👑🤕 Who knew that a little tumble could lead to such luxury treatment? It's all fun and games until someone takes a spill, right? 🤣 #ClumsyButCaredFor

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Paw Patrol is just annoying. Exactly how long do dogs live again on average?

  Commentary:
  "Paw Patrol: training our children to expect talking dogs saving the day 🐾🦸‍♂️ As for the dogs' lifespan, let's just hope they have enough years left to endure all those rescue missions! 🐶🕰️ #LiveLongAndPawspurr"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: If she says “so just what exactly is THAT supposed to mean”, you’re gonna have a bad time.

  Commentary:
  Oh, when she busts out the "so just what exactly is THAT supposed to mean" card, you better start preparing yourself for a bumpy ride! 🙈 It's like entering the no man's land of miscommunication and awkwardness. Proceed with caution, my friend! 😅

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Sorry I’m late, traffic is exactly how it’s been every day for the past couple years, and I was not expecting that.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the thrilling saga of traffic strikes again! 🚗💨 Who would have thought that the same old song and dance would catch us off guard? Time to add 'predicting traffic patterns' to our resume! 😅⏰ #SameTrafficDifferentDay"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I was always told to eat all my food so that I’d grow to be big and strong. When exactly does the strong part kick in?

  Commentary:
  Oh, the eternal mystery of when that "strong" part finally arrives! 🤔💪 Maybe it's waiting for the perfect moment to make a grand entrance, like a superhero swooping in to save the day! 🦸‍♂️ Keep eating your greens and who knows, you might just wake up one day with muscles of steel! 💪😄

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Dear brain, please stop thinking so much exactly when it’s time to fall asleep.

  Commentary:
  "Dear brain, why must you write a grocery list and come up with future business ideas when all I want is some sleep? 🧠💤 Maybe you should consider a career change to night owl consultant or professional dream curator? Just a thought. 🦉💭"

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