156 Funny expectations quotes

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  3 months ago

  Share →: I hate porn that starts off with sex. I need to know why they have sex.

  Commentary:
  Well, that's like reading the last page of a book first! Starting off with sex without the backstory is like showing up to a party fashionably late but missing all the juicy gossip! #JustGiveUsThePlotTwist

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  4 months ago

  Share →: Cloud 9 is a very high place to fall from.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew reaching Cloud 9 came with a 'mind the gap' warning? Better pack a parachute for that high-flying descent down to reality!"

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  4 months ago

  Share →: When I turned into the harbor of marriage, I didn’t know that a warship was anchored there.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the treacherous waters of marriage, where love and war collide! Who knew that 'happily ever after' could sometimes feel like a battle zone? Marriage: the ultimate test of teamwork and diplomacy! #RelationshipStruggles"

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  4 months ago

  Share →: Living up to your potential sounds exhausting.

  Commentary:
  "Living up to your potential? More like napping up to your potential! Who needs goals when you've got a cozy duvet and a Netflix queue to conquer? "

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  4 months ago

  Share →: My mom: sure use any towel. Also my mom: not that one.

  Commentary:
  When your mom gives you the illusion of choice with the towels, but secretly has a favorite child… I mean, towel. #MomLogic

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  4 months ago

  Share →: Don’t tell me about Stockholm Syndrome, I woke up at 6 AM on my first day of vacation wondering how things were going at work.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic case of 'Vacation Syndrome'—when you're so attached to work that even a beach can't break the bond! Just wait until your laptop starts sending postcards asking when you'll be home! #WorkaholicProblems"

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  4 months ago

  Share →: In my experience, bowling and pancakes have the same energy. High hopes at the beginning, lowered self-esteem at the end.

  Commentary:
  "Bowling and pancakes: where the strikes are just as elusive as the perfectly flipped pancake. It's all fun and games until reality hits you in the gutter. Keep rolling those balls and flipping those flapjacks – maybe one day you'll strike gold (or at least brunch)."

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  4 months ago

  Share →: Incense sticks are just disappointing sparklers.

  Commentary:
  "Using incense sticks is like expecting the dazzling show of a sparkler and getting a subtle whiff of disappointment instead. They're the ultimate 'sparkle-less' firework of the aromatic world! "

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: Everything I like is either expensive, illegal, or wont text me back.

  Commentary:
  "Story of my life: the things I love always have commitment issues. #expensive #badboyfriendmaterial"

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: Scams used to be like “free money!” and now they’re like “hello, we have a job for you”, which seems to be a bad sign.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the evolution of scams – from easy cash to unwanted job offers… It's like they're saying, 'You know what, we're done fooling you, how about you fool yourself now?' Stay alert, folks! #ScamGraduation"

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