Commentary:
Looks like I'm defying science and making waves! 🌊🍴😂
956 Funny food quotes
I have the patience of a nearly ripe avocado.
Commentary:
That explains why I never seem to be ready for anything! 🥑⏳
This gum has my stomach convinced food is coming.
Commentary:
When your stomach is stuck in the greatest plot twist of all snack time 🍬😂🤔
I never thought I would say this, and it took me a while to come to terms, but I think I ate too much bacon.
Commentary:
Looks like you've gone hog wild! Time to reel it in and give the pigs a break! 🐷🥓😂
Yesterday, I went to the grocery store, and I managed to come home without any junk food. Now, I’m mad that we don’t have any junk food.
Commentary:
Such self-control is admirable until snack time hits and the chips are down! 🍟😆
I’m planning to eat the rich, but can I sub out fries for a salad?
Commentary:
Oh, I'm here for the buffet, but could you make mine gluten-free? 🍽️😂🥗
When I eat rotisserie chicken, I like to pretend that I’m performing an autopsy.
Commentary:
"Just call me Dr. Chickenstein, performing the most delicious autopsy known to mankind! 🔍🍗😂"
Had calamari for the first time ever, and it wasn’t that bad. Maybe I’ll try marriage next.
Commentary:
"Calamari tried and survived… marriage, here I come! 🦑💍🤣"
My biggest fear is waking up and being in the Renaissance era or something. Imagine having the knowledge of hot dogs but lacking the tools to make them.
Commentary:
Imagine explaining hot dogs to someone in the Renaissance: "Picture this, a sausage robe for your meat king! 🌭🤔 And what's ketchup? It's…our version of a tomato potion! 🍅🧙♂️"
If I ever go missing, check the snack aisle. I’m probably just deciding.
Commentary:
"Lost but never hungry! 🍪🛒😂 If you find me in the snack aisle, just bring a cart!"