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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Missionary, so I can look him in the eyes and ask him why Ashley from work is texting him with heart eyes.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Fun Fact: Dove chocolate tastes way better than their soap.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

When I take a shower I’m: 5% cleaning myself, 10% singing, 85% making life changing decisions.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

I don’t mind pulling your cart — I’ve been chasing the carrot anyway, and it’s in the same direction.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

When I bark at a dog, I always worry that I might have inadvertently said something wrong.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

If I got a Dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

If I were a mouse, I’d say things like “cheesed to meet you”.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

I’m optimistic, in a pessimistic way.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

The amount of sleeping I’ve done over the past few days has been phenomenal. I genuinely love doing absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Telling a child not to touch something only ensures that child is definitely now going to touch that something.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,521

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I think this man might be the one, I say right before he dumps me and I never hear from him again.

Going bananas on Facebook:

When the client says: “make it pop”, I have to ask myself whether he means my mind or the project.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need a special occasion to buy a cake.

Spotted on Facebook:

My mother told me there is a girl for me in every corner of the earth, but unfortunately the earth is round.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Monday again. I just knew this would happen.

Shared recently on TikTok:

You’re never too old or too stupid to become older and stupider.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Dear Santa, Money!

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

There should be guide dogs that prevent you from making bad decisions.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Being complimented by a girl in public is like getting kissed by an angel.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Changed my bio on bumble to “I’m gonna murder ur whole family” and guys still responded.

11 Funny garage quotes

Funny garage quotes bring a burst of laughter to your workspace 🚗😂 Whether you’re a car enthusiast, a DIY lover, or just someone who spends way too much time tinkering, these witty sayings add personality and humor to every greasy moment 🛠️😄 Get ready to rev up your mood and turn your garage into the happiest spot in the house! 🎉🔧

New funny garage quotes 👇

For even more funny garage quotes, hit next 👇

All funny garage quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on Reddit this month:

Let’s be honest. The best moment of the day is when we take off our bra.

84 shares on Discord this month:

When a man gets married he has a moral obligation to scare his wife when he sneezes.

26 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Started the year single. Ending the year single. Consistency is key.

61 shares on TikTok this month:

My love life feels like when you finally spot an open space in a full parking lot — and then boom, it’s a motorcycle.

11 shares on Slack this month:

When someone is in a Christmas eve panic, I always find that “well, maybe you should have thought of that sooner” is a helpful phrase.

99 shares on Telegram this month:

I get it, drug commercials. I too like to dance while I describe all my side effects.

22 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m at the gym and I just saw someone put their water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.

36 shares on Snapchat this month:

Why did they call it an AI-generated picture and not a ‘fauxtograph’?

87 shares on Pinterest this month:

I don’t flirt, I just say weird things and hope something sticks.

99 shares on Facebook this month:

Life is too short. Tell his mom what he did to you.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Spell your crush’s name backwards, mine is yenom.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I love you to the refrigerator and back.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked, I’m 4 people.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Men be like, yes, I hurt you, but now you hate me, so I am the true victim.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I personally feel like I have what it takes to become a fossil.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Every day is leg day when you’re running from your problems.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I lied, I’m jealous. I hope every girl who looks at you gets clipped by a meteor.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Instead of meeting any new people, I would much rather un-meet the ones I already know.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Unfortunately, when you don’t burden people with your problems, they assume you don’t have any. Lol.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The cold water does not get warmer if you jump late.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,333

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Throwing a spear at your enemy is a bad gamble. If you miss, you have no spear now and he’s just fine. He’s better than fine; now he has a spear.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Old Spice doesn’t sound like something you wanna smell.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

People would be more motivated to lose weight if the weight they lost went on to someone they didn’t like.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

I did some soul searching last night. I’m happy to report I still have one.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

She was my chai, I was her cake rusk.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Never meeting another person again, so if I know you already, congrats!

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Either you’re violently frolicking with me or you’re violently frolicking against me.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

I wish I could just drop my body off at the gym and pick it up later.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

My husband was unable to find his coat earlier as he’d accidentally hung it up.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

I hope this email finds you in a well.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

I’m naturally funny because my life is a joke.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I hope the babies I was born with at the hospital are doing good.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

You can use an egg timer to tell you when your egg is cooked perfectly. For brown rice you can use a calendar.

Shared recently on Threads:

I asked my doctor if I’m healthy enough for sex and he told me I’m not even sexy enough for health.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I will never be the person this serving size suggestion wants me to be.

Breaking via Threads:

You never realize how many curse words are in a song till you play it for your family.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest.

Spotted on Discord:

If you’re looking for a wild woman, I just took all of my vitamins in one gulp.

Going bananas on Threads:

If the office is always a little cold, you might be working for the lizard people.

Just shared via Facebook:

Our parents are going to be shocked when they find out that most of us are serious about not getting married.

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