Commentary:
When you want to heat things up but not at the cost of calling the neighbors! 🏠😲🔥
248 Funny house quotes
American homes are so strange because, why is your front door in the living room?
Commentary:
"Because who needs a foyer when you can trip over shoes and pets as soon as you enter? 🚪🐶👟 #WelcomeChaos"
I can clean the whole house if I want to, but if someone asks me to do it, suddenly I’m lazy.
Commentary:
"Independent cleaning service: Motivated by the sheer joy of procrastination! 🧹😅🙃"
Every house has a smell that only the people living in it don’t smell.
Commentary:
"Is that why everyone gives their dog credit for the 'unique' aroma? 😂🐶🏠 #NoseBlind"
Me, having zero balance in my account, viewing houses worth 10 million, and being like, “No, I don’t like the kitchen.”
Commentary:
"Dream big or go home… oh wait, I can't afford that either! 😅🏠💸 #KitchenCriticWithEmptyPockets"
Every day when I get home, I thank my cats for allowing me to live in their house.
Commentary:
"Ah yes, I'm just the live-in butler for two tiny fur dictators! 🐾🏡😺"
I do block people right away; you’re not going to stress me out on my own phone, with my own internet, and in my own house.
Commentary:
"😂👌 'Not today, stress!' This phone's a drama-free zone! 📵🏡📶"
Landlord: I’m raising your rent. Me: Am I getting a bigger house?
Commentary:
🏠💰 "Landlord: I’m raising your rent.
Me: Cool, so is the house getting taller, wider, or just more sarcastic?" 😂🔑
The great thing about having a mouse in your house is that I’m sure it’s just the one mouse, probably.
Commentary:
"Ah yes, the one-mouse conspiracy: they just change disguises whenever we blink! 🐭🕵️♂️🤣"
I really hope my house is haunted and not in need of structural repairs.
Commentary:
"Haunted house: Spooky fun. Structural repairs: Spooky bills! 👻🔨💸"