Funny impress quotes

• Liking a post I don’t understand just to impress the algorithm.

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  2 months ago

  algorithm, confusion, engagement, i, impress, just, liking, media, post, social, social media, understand

• Money doesn’t impress me. Giving it to me does.

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  2 months ago

  generosity, giving, humor, impress, me, money, request, sarcasm, wealth

• She wanted me to impress her in the bedroom, so I showed her my organized sock drawer and my fresh matching bedding.

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  2 months ago

  bedding, bedroom, date, drawer, fresh, humor, i, impress, matching, me, organized, relationship, sock, wanted

• If I was ever told to “dress to impress”, my first thought would be to get the Batman suit out.

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  2 months ago

  Batman, costume, creativity, dress, ever, fashion, humor, i, impress, suit, superhero, thought, told

• Dear razor commercials, please stop shaving hairless legs. If you want to impress someone, shave a gorilla.

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  2 months ago

  beauty, beauty standard, commercial, commercials, gorilla, hairless, hairless leg, humor, impress, leg, legs, razor, satire, shave, shaving, someone, standard, stop, want

• If you want to impress me with your car, it should be an ice cream van.

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  2 months ago

  car, cream, fun, humor, ice, ice cream, impress, me, novelty, should, van, vehicle, want

• Sometimes I say something so embarrassing I even impress myself.

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  2 months ago

  embarrassing, embarrassment, even, i, impress, myself, say, self, something

• If you want to impress me with your car, it better be a food truck.

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  2 months ago

  better, car, date, food, food truck, humor, impress, me, preference, truck, vehicle, want

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