Funny impress quotes

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  3 months ago

  Share →: Liking a post I don’t understand just to impress the algorithm.

  Commentary:
  "Me pretending to know what I'm doing in life like… 🤷‍♂️😂 #ImpressTheAlgorithm"

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: Money doesn’t impress me. Giving it to me does.

  Commentary:
  "Money may not be able to buy happiness, but it sure can grab my attention! 💸😏 Show me the Benjamin's, and we'll definitely be on good terms! 💰😆"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: She wanted me to impress her in the bedroom, so I showed her my organized sock drawer and my fresh matching bedding.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs bedroom eyes when you've got perfectly folded socks and coordinated linens? 😏🧦💤 This guy knows how to set the mood for a thrilling night of clean living! 😂 #SocksBeforeSex"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: If I was ever told to “dress to impress”, my first thought would be to get the Batman suit out.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a fancy suit when you can have the Bat-suit? 🦇💼 Talk about making a lasting impression! Just imagine showing up at a formal event in full Batman gear – now that's how you steal the show! 😂 #DressToImpress"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Dear razor commercials, please stop shaving hairless legs. If you want to impress someone, shave a gorilla.

  Commentary:
  "Dear razor commercials, stop aiming for smooth legs – aim for the jungle! 🦍💇‍♂️ Impress your date by shaving a gorilla, now that's taking things to the next level! 🌿😂 #GorillaGroomingGoals"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: If you want to impress me with your car, it should be an ice cream van.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a sports car when you can charm everyone with a sweet and chilly treat? 🍦😎 Your ice cream van is the real MVP in the world of vehicles! #CoolRides"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Sometimes I say something so embarrassing I even impress myself.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the rare talent of impressing oneself with embarrassing moments – a true mastery of self-surprise 😳👏 Who knew embarrassment could be so impressive? Keep setting the bar high, even if it's with blush-inducing remarks! 🤣"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: If you want to impress me with your car, it better be a food truck.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs horsepower when you can have lunch power? 🚚🍔 Trade in your sports car for a food truck and win hearts with every meal! 🏎️❌🌮 #StreetEats"

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