Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

What doesn’t kill you gives you a twisted, dark sense of humor.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Inventing the Grinch: “Santa needs a Wario!”

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

There’s no sadder tableau in all of humanity than the smoker’s terrarium at the airport.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Thinking about stepping down from being an adult, I’m just not in the right headspace for this position right now. I really appreciate the opportunity though.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

I hate it when people threaten to come over. Now I’ve got to do 2 years of housework in 30 minutes.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m so introverted, I only listen to house music.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

If you were a dinosaur, you’d be a Gorgeousaurus.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

You can fake an American accent all you want, but “literally” will expose you.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Maybe making another financially irresponsible decision will fix me.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,561

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

You know how a dog tilts his head and looks confused when he hears a strange sound? Yeah, that’s how I feel when some people are talking.

Live now on Twitch:

Make it a habit to cry and act unhinged at meetings so you’re never invited back.

Breaking via Messenger:

Babies invented being in a bad mood for no reason, and they continue to innovate in the field.

Trending via Instagram:

People see me spending money and think I’m rich. No, bro, I’m just irresponsible.

Trending via Snapchat:

My soulmate probably seen my posts and deleted me.

Just landed via WeChat:

Hear me out. What if we don’t elect another president, and we all just promise to be really good?

Trending via LinkedIn:

There should be an Olympics where athletes can take as many drugs as they want. Like, to hell with y’all, let’s see how high humans can really jump.

Just shared via Telegram:

Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you’re stupid and you make bad decisions.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I wish I was a cat. No bills, no job, just meow, meow.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Hey bro, please stop using all the good skipping rocks at the river.

59 Funny lie quotes

Funny lie quotes 😂 are the perfect way to add a dash of humor to the everyday fibs we all tell! From little white lies to those whoppers that make your friends burst into laughter 🤣, these quotes capture the art of deception with a wink and a smile 😉. Whether you’re a master storyteller or just appreciate a good chuckle, dive into the world of hilarious fibs that’ll leave you grinning 😄.

New funny lie quotes 👇

Babe, you have to believe me. I followed that porn star because I like her political views.

3 weeks ago

babe, believe, dating, excuse, humor, i, lie, me, media, political, politics, porn, porn star, relationship, social, social media, star, views
Being smart is a curse. You see the game, the lies, the patterns, but you still gotta play dumb to survive.

3 weeks ago

being, curse, dumb, game, intelligence, lie, pattern, play, playing, playing dumb, smart, still, strategy, survival, survive
I put my bathroom scale in the corner, and that’s where the little liar will stay until it apologizes.

3 weeks ago

apology, bathroom, bathroom scale, corner, humor, i, joke, liar, lie, little, personification, put, scale, stay, weight, where
I lied, there’s no sex. I just needed help getting out of my skinny jeans.

3 weeks ago

clothing, fashion, getting, help, honesty, humor, i, jean, jeans, just, lie, relationship, sex, skinny, skinny jean, struggle
I lied, there’s no sex. Can you tell me a bedtime story?

3 weeks ago

bedtime, bedtime story, conversation, humor, i, joke, lie, me, relationship, sex, story, tell
I lied. There’s no sex. Can you help me put this fitted sheet on my mattress?

4 weeks ago

bedroom, domestic, domestic task, fitted, fitted sheet, help, honesty, humor, i, lie, mattress, me, put, relationship, sex, sheet, task
“Why would I lie to you?” I don’t know, maybe because you’re a liar.

4 weeks ago

contradiction, honesty, humor, i, know, liar, lie, maybe, sarcasm, why
No one lies more than a parent who says, “We’ll see.” You know we’re not seeing anything.

4 weeks ago

anything, family, humor, know, lie, parent, promise, sarcasm, seeing, well
Not gonna lie, I just assume everyone is AI now.

4 weeks ago

AI, assume, assumption, everyone, humor, i, just, lie, life, modern, modern life, technology
They lie on the job descriptions, so lie on your resume.

4 weeks ago

deception, description, honesty, humor, job, job description, lie, resume, work

For even more funny lie quotes, hit next 👇

All funny lie quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on Snapchat this month:

I like to think of myself as an onion. Peel back the many layers and deep down inside you’ll find a smaller, more anxious onion.

96 shares on Discord this month:

I’m a yapper. I’m a napper. I’m a midnight snacker.

26 shares on Telegram this month:

Apparently, “spite” is not an appropriate answer to “What motivates you?”

66 shares on TikTok this month:

Welcome to middle age: your chin looks lonely; here’s another one.

60 shares on Telegram this month:

The thief who stole my iPhone could face time.

64 shares on Instagram this month:

My sister: snowboards. My brother: skateboards. Me: charcuterie boards.

57 shares on Twitch this month:

This economy requires two hustlers working together – not a hustler and a leech. It’s too expensive to be out here carrying dead weight.

93 shares on X this month:

The funniest thing about 28 Years Later is that the rest of the world just went “Uhm, anyway!” and carried on as normal, while the Brits live in hell.

21 shares on Slack this month:

Nothing like a meteor shower to remind you that burning out can still be breathtaking.

63 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m an atheist, so if you send prayers, I’ll send thoughts.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes nature makes art, like trees, waterfalls, and the human butt.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I feel useless, but then I remember I breathe out carbon dioxide for plants.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at the gym and I just saw someone put their water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Helpful police officer reminded me he’s the one asking the questions.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Relationship status: he escaped.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My wife has the worst taste in men.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Adulthood is realising no one cares about you, and the show must go on.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My kids think I’m going to miss them when they leave for college, but I’ll be busy drinking my coffee while it’s still hot.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I wasn’t made to hustle and bustle. I was made to dilly and dally.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

“Why don’t you tell us anything anymore?” I’ve updated my privacy policy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,486

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

The best thing about dogs is you can act like something really good just happened, and they’ll instantly start celebrating too. They have no idea what the context is; they’re just always ready to party, no matter what.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Messages are way funnier when you know how that person talks.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Why do my kids have Veteran’s Day off, they haven’t done shit.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

I’m at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to stop for anything on the way home from work.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Been there, done that. Then, been there several more times, because apparently I never learn.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

If I was on Love Island, I would get wasted and drown in the pool, altering the course of every contestant’s life forever.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

A pie where there isn’t pastry on the bottom isn’t a pie. It’s soup with a hat.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Brainwashing is always considered terrible and horrible. But there are many brains that would benefit from a wash.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

The laundromat should give you XP and ranks like “Slimelord” and “Glunkfather,” based on how dirty your clothes are.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Going to McDonald’s to get the Grinch meal, then going to Burger King to get the Spongebob meal. Then disappearing into the forest for twenty years.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

When you have the money, you can go a whole day without eating. But when you’re broke, the dizziness starts at 6 a.m.

Just landed via X:

If you really wanna piss someone off when introducing them, make little finger quotation marks in the air when announcing their job title.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Hi, I’m a social media user, you might know me from such hits as “I’m leaving this stupid place” and “I’m back everybody.”

Going viral on WeChat:

Mornings would be fine if they started later.

Just landed via Twitch:

Social anxiety so bad I wonder if I’m welcome at places I was invited to.

Just landed via Facebook:

Hot girl in her 20s: It’s so weird, but I keep getting lucky, and everything works out in my favor.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Every man learns for himself the uselessness of owning an iPad.

Going viral on Telegram:

If I ever have a daughter, I’m going to call her Erica, but spell it Airwrecka.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Have you ever “accidentally” eaten a family sized bag of chips?

Going viral on Telegram:

It’s crazy that you don’t really argue with a baby for the first year of its life and then you have to argue with the baby every day.

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