Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Nothing is impossible, except for my daughter returning home with the hat and gloves she wore to school this morning.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

I don’t really like the song “I’ve Got a Feeling” by Black Eyed Peas, but I just like the part where they say “Mazel Tov.”

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

If Shakespeare were being born today, he’d be “Shaxxespyr.”

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Life is too short, and death is too long.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

I saw God in a dream and all he did was brag about making Pedro Pascal.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

I don’t know which is worse, people stealing your jokes or people not stealing your jokes.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

I won $6 on a scratch-off last night. Out of my way, peasants!

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m at the age where an uncomfortable bed will have me injured for a couple of days.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

I love being single because how could I explain a 2 p.m. – 5 p.m. nap on a Saturday.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

To be fair, a dumpster is like one of the safest places to have a fire.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,436

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

I may look fine on the outside, but on the inside I’m hungry again.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

What’s really missing is a day between Saturday and Sunday.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

You can’t have a bad day at work if you don’t go.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I just want a bar where I can pour my own drink, have music at a normal volume, and there are no people, and it’s my house.

Spotted on WeChat:

I’ve deleted enough tweets to know that I should never get a tattoo.

Just landed via Discord:

Your brain automatically translates WTF but not LOL.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Technically, all restaurants are drive-thru, it just depends how committed to the task you are.

Making waves on Discord:

There’s a weird kind of grief that comes with late August, and I can’t explain it.

Live now on Twitch:

Before you try to save someone, make sure you’re not interrupting their karma.

Live now on WeChat:

I haven’t lost my virginity because I never lose.

Funny lovers quotes

Funny lovers quotes bring all the giggles and heart eyes 💕😂, capturing the silly side of romance that makes love even sweeter. Whether you’re swooning over your special someone or just here for the laughs, these witty lines are perfect for sharing those adorable, laugh-out-loud moments with your boo or your besties. Get ready to smile, snort, and maybe even blush a little! 😘💬❤️

New funny lovers quotes 👇

Real lovers are currently single, by the way.

0

1 month ago

dating, humor, love, lover, lovers, real, relationship, single
Twitter is where the broken, the used, the fighters, and the lovers gather to appreciate the twisted beauty in one another.

0

2 months ago

another, appreciate, appreciation, beauty, broken, community, fighter, fighters, lover, lovers, twisted, Twitter, used, where
Horse girls and cat ladies get all the attention, but what about crow women?

0

2 months ago

animal, animal lovers, attention, cat, cat lady, crow, crow woman, girl, girls, horse, horse girl, humor, humor quote, lady, lovers, quirky, woman, women
Good morning only to those who duel at dawn, drink at dusk, and haunt their lovers in between.

0

2 months ago

activity, dawn, drink, duel, dusk, good, haunt, humor, lover, lovers, morning, night, only
Think about how many more lovers you’d have if a cross country high-speed rail existed. That’s what they are taking away from you.

0

2 months ago

activity, away, country, cross, cross country, dating, existed, fun, fun activity, high-speed, high-speed rail, lovers, opportunity, rail, relationships, think, transportation, travel
It’s amazing, when it’s your birthday you really feel the love from family, friends, lovers, former dentists, yoga studios and various smootheries.

0

2 months ago

amazing, birthday, celebration, dentist, family, feel, friends, humor, love, lovers, smoothie, yoga
Enemies to lovers is only good if they’re gay. If I wanted to see a man and a woman yell at each other, I’d just go downstairs and eat with my parents.

0

2 months ago

dinner, downstairs, eat, enemies, enemies to lovers, family, family dinner, gay, good, humor, i, ID, just, lovers, man, only, parents, relationship, stereotype, wanted, woman, yell

All funny lovers quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on Pinterest this month:

They should invent something in between coffee and narcotics.

10 shares on YouTube this month:

“We will go ahead and make these changes if we don’t hear from you before Friday” is such an elegant way to solve problems.

55 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My boyfriend just said “I encourage you to try all things” to our cat who was licking up Buffalo sauce.

79 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s like my wish isn’t even your command anymore…

82 shares on Snapchat this month:

If there’s ever an alien invasion, I hope it doesn’t start while I’m asleep. I hate being woken up before my alarm.

45 shares on Instagram this month:

Sometimes I’ll call in, disguise my voice, and insist on speaking to me, or I’ll take my business elsewhere.

55 shares on Reddit this month:

Fishing for compliments like “I’m a mess in this photo that I took all morning to get the right angle and filter and after 50 selfies this is me”.

21 shares on WeChat this month:

The best plans on a Friday night are no plans.

28 shares on Instagram this month:

I can’t wait to go to bed, get terrible sleep, and wake up exhausted with a sore back.

79 shares on Messenger this month:

The medicine for headache goes to the stomach to do what, exactly?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The best part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work. The worst part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The way that we’re constantly told not to eat silica gel makes me suspect that it contains all the world’s forbidden knowledge.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I keep my mind active by worrying.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m writing a book on the joys of drinking beer. So far I’ve been through a lot of drafts.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sorry for the things I said when I was running late due to circumstances completely within my control.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

In England “booster shot” is spelled “borchestershire shot”.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

You can tell it’s laundry day because I’m wearing flippers and a Viking helmet.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I am just a man, a man who told a woman to calm down, so I guess this is goodbye.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I was going to learn to play the violin, but it was too much of a commitment. I wanted something with no strings attached.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

After I get irritated, it takes me about 2 hours to fix my face.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,713

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Brussels sprouts were invented by big cabbage to sell little cabbages.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

I hate when teachers put “?” on my work, like I don’t know either.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

I always thought orthopaedic shoes were overrated, but I stand corrected.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

The gaps in my resume are from the space bar.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Don’t give up on your dreams. Go back to bed.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

My son was praying for “everybody in the world.” If you suddenly start experiencing good fortune, you’re welcome.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Don’t cry because it’s over. Cry because you have an extra hour to think about it.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

The trick is to be born in the right place and at the right time. If you mess that up, it gets tedious.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

One sec, lemme just find the off switch for my brain.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

There are people who have a favourite colour, and there are people whose favourite colour is purple. These are very different things. Purple fans are different creatures.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

Yes, I was behind the DJ booth, but only as a cultural anthropologist.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Let’s all be grateful for a moment that stupidity is not contagious.

Shared recently on Threads:

If you think someone has put a spell on you, send me $500 and I’ll get rid of it.

Live now on TikTok:

I love how all the Black Friday deals this year are just the price of the item before the tariffs.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I just come here for the free life advice and inspirational quotes from people who’s lives are complete train wrecks.

Going bananas on X:

Going to hack Kanye’s account and make him post something normal.

Spotted on Facebook:

Me passing someone: you slow mule! Me being passed: okay, speed racer!

Breaking via X:

As long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I’m totally flexible.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Just found out it don’t matter how early I go to bed, I just don’t wanna go to work.

Going bananas on Slack:

It’s crazy people waste their time with hobbies and family when there are strangers on the internet who need to be argued with.

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