251 Funny new quotes

• Have you noticed? When the relationship is new, the guy is never busy.

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  2 months ago

  busy, communication, dating, guy, never, new, noticed, relationship, romance

• I replaced my old flat pillow that hurt my neck with a new fat fluffy pillow that hurts my neck.

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  2 months ago

  comfort, fat, flat, fluff, fluffy, humor, hurt, hurts, i, neck, new, old, pain, pillow, upgrade

• I don’t like this new trend of old people wearing shirts of bands I listened to when I was a kid.

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  2 months ago

  band, bands, fashion, gap, generational, generational gap, humor, i, kid, music, new, nostalgia, old, old people, people, shirt, shirts, trend

• King Kong should’ve been able to find a better place to hide than the top of the tallest building in the middle of New York City.

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  2 months ago

  able, better, building, city, funny observation, hide, hiding, hiding place, humor, irony, king, King Kong, kong, middle, movie, movie reference, new, New York City, observation, place, reference, tallest, tallest building, top, york

• When it rains in New York, the train starts smelling like hamster.

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  2 months ago

  city, city life, hamster, humor, life, new, New York, public, public transport, rain, smell, train, transport, york

• Starting a new show sucks. Who are these people?

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  2 months ago

  frustration, humor, new, people, show, start, sucks

• Every time I watch “The Godfather”, I notice some new detail (they’re Italian???).

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  2 months ago

  comedy, detail, every, film, Godfather, humor, i, italian, movie, new, notice, observation, time, watch

• A new year resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

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  2 months ago

  goal, humor, irony, motivation, new, new year, resolution, year

• Smile like a monkey with a new banana.

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  2 months ago

  banana, expression, happiness, humor, monkey, new, smile

• Soccer: I love when they hold up the sign and a brand new, beautiful boy takes the place of a dirty, sweaty, ruined one.

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  2 months ago

  activity, beautiful, boy, dirty, humor, i, love, new, place, replacement, sign, soccer, sport, sweaty

All funny new quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌